To Trust Means To Be Careless

Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 6.51.46 PMThere are numerous resources stating what trust is and what trust isn’t.

There are countless articles, illustrations and books with all kinds of defintions.

So I decided to embark on my own search for the meaning of the word trust.

While doing so, I found that in Hebrew, the word for trust is batach, written בָּטַח.

It means (1) to attach oneself, (2) to confide in, (3) to feel safe, (4) to be careless.

To be careless? How does that make sense?

The last definition startled me a bit, but it also got me thinking.

Here’s my take on what it means to be careless when it comes to trust:

We trust another without thinking. It means knowing that you don’t have to look over your shoulder if something comes up. You know without a shadow of a doubt that the person on the other side of the table, phone, or conference is going to be concerned for your interests as well as their own. In other words, you’re not in it alone. There is someone who is not only looking out for what is good for them, but what is good for you too. This is powerful because it means that they will look out for you no matter what the circumstance may be—and because of that you can trust without thinking about it.

We trust without watching what others do. When you can trust blindly, it means you don’t have to worry that the object of your trust won’t come through for you. It means that you do not have to worry about how to take care of yourself with that person, because they’re going to be worried about you too. When you trust another you don’t have to be on guard that they will betray you. It means that you do not have to guard yourself with them, because they are going to be concerned with what is good for you.

We trust without care or trouble. When you trust another, you don’t have to be concerned that they’ll do or say something behind your back. You do not have to watch your back with them, because they’re going to be watching it for you. Incredible things happen when you don’t have to always protect yourself or feel guarded. You can actually relax.

When true trust is present, you can be careless with each other, you can be open with each other, you can take risks with each other, you can learn from each other, and you can leverage the fact that you don’t have to always be watchful and protective of yourself.

 True trust is having access to another without having to worry; it allows you to be careless.

Lead From Within: For relationships to have trust, you have to be able to be open and vulnerable. You have to have access. When access is given, trust increases. When access is earned, more is built, and as more is built more is given.

Additional Reading:

 


Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

24 Responses to “To Trust Means To Be Careless”

  1. Jon Stallings

    03. Feb, 2015

    Thanks for sharing Lolly – I had never heard that definition before – But it does make sense. However, I just wonder how many people we can trust that much.

    Reply to this comment
  2. Panteli Tritchew

    03. Feb, 2015

    “To be careless” is an interesting twist on trust, for sure. Any kind of trust requires risk, I feel, and when we really trust someone we are care-free around them and with them. Our deflector shields are down. For me, those are rare and treasured moments with rare and treasured friends. Lovely thoughts on trust, Lolly.

    Reply to this comment
  3. Ace-Nectar

    04. Feb, 2015

    To Leading From Within – as a decent human being – means taking risks: being careless could be interpreted as a high risk factor.

    You will win people’s trust and learn to trust people, and of course the converse is also true, losing people’s trust and your faith in people.

    I’d like to take the opportunity and build on that by presenting and providing my view on this very issue of Trust:

    Q1: Once that risk has been assessed as not being a viable course of action, how do you as a leader (both professionally and personally) give the other the understanding of the loss of Trust?

    A1: With Honesty. Present the argument in a clear fashion. Place the ball firmly in the other’s court -so to speak – and hope that they are in a position or have the ability to return the ball. In the event that the ball is lost. Cut your losses and move on. But know that by going the distance of breaking the silence on this sacred issue of relationships you have at least given the other full awareness of the situation. So professionally you may have lost a collaborator or a deal, but as a human being you have walked with another to the knowledge of themselves -which at the end of the day benefits us all.

    Thank You Ms. Daskal for this post.
    In closing I will end with a Hebrew Blessing for us all.
    Shalom.

    Reply to this comment
  4. LaRae Quy

    04. Feb, 2015

    LOVE your definition of trust, Lolly!

    When I first meet people or talk with them, there is always a bit of “feeling them out” re their personality. I often feel like I’m walking on egg shells with new people I meet until I get to know them better.

    After trust is established, I am less “careful” about saying the wrong thing because I know that if there is a misunderstanding, they will just ask me to clarify.

    When there is trust, there is an understanding of who I really am….

    Reply to this comment
  5. Terri Klass

    04. Feb, 2015

    Your post really spoke to me Lolly. Trust is about being able to let go and knowing that the trusted person will guard us. When we trust others we allow them into our lives on many different levels. We are not worried about exposing all of our sides because there is respect and honor.

    It takes me a long time to completely trust someone but once I do I am loyal for life.

    Thanks Lolly for a beautiful post!

    Reply to this comment
  6. Veronica

    06. Feb, 2015

    Learning to trust is challenging to most of us. If in our lifetime we find those that we can trust carelessly as you described then we are abundantly blessed.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Amaneal

    06. Feb, 2015

    Yes, for sure this is a twist. Trust is, as the author mentioned, something that should and must be earned. I think, earning somebody’s trust is a long journey. The level of of trust we entrust upon somebody increases or decreases depending on how much confidence we have in the other person. Being careless, I think, has a lot to do with this level of our confidence in the other person. Because, when our confidence level in somebody is high we will be willing and ready to trust and be careless around that person. We will be less careless about the risks that may come along with trust, if any.
    Thank you for sharing this insight.
    Amaneal

    Reply to this comment
  8. john paul

    06. Feb, 2015

    Lolly,

    I love the conclusion of your Etymology!! Thanks. 🙂 That is what trust is, in all its brilliance and beauty. Being careless, it’s like water to a thirsty soul.

    Reply to this comment
  9. Jaunot Baker

    06. Feb, 2015

    Sounds good, but is it real? As much as we would love to believe there is true trust, it just doesn’t exist.. To Trust Is To Be Careless! Another person’s answer to what you need at a particular instance could be totally wrong. Their opinion about what you need could make your matter worse. If you trust without a plan “B” you could find yourself in a lot of trouble and that would be just what you get for trusting, i.e., being “careless.”

    Reply to this comment
  10. market gold amp

    07. Feb, 2015

    An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been conducting
    a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I discovered
    it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending some time to discuss this issue here on your web page.

    Reply to this comment
  11. Deepa

    14. Feb, 2015

    Trust is also learning to trust again when the trust was broken. Thank you for sharing your perspective, Lolly. I enjoyed reading this.

    Reply to this comment
  12. Alyse

    28. May, 2015

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  13. CyrstalSRaulino

    02. Jun, 2015

    Hey there! This post couldn’t be written any better!

    Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this.
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    05. Jan, 2016

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  15. Solomon Aber

    25. Mar, 2017

    The only one to be trysted is GOD. I say this because of my experience through my long life. As sixty years old man I reached at a conclusion to trust carelessly The Almighty GOD. Nevertheless, I like your post, and am your admirer. Keep it up, and GOD bless you.

    Reply to this comment
  16. Christina

    08. May, 2017

    I would completely enjoy learning from you directly. Your knowledge and experience would be incredibly useful for me in a professional that is very male dominant. The challenges leave me baffled quite often when a successful project is second to ‘winning’.

    Reply to this comment

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