What Your Leadership Will Not Be Able to Give You

There are some things you cannot expect from your leadership. Everyone—in leadership or not—needs to be able to nourish their inner self. You can count on those around you for many kinds of help, but there are some things you have to rely on yourself to provide.

Don’t expect people to hold you accountable as well as you can for yourself. A successful leader will always be responsible. But those you lead or even those above you can’t hold you accountable as well as you can for yourself. You know better than anyone where you’ve succeeded and where you’ve let yourself down.

Don’t expect anyone else to understand what you’re going through. Even if someone has gone through something similar, everyone experiences things differently and in a different context. People may walk the same path, but not in the same way. Spend time working to understand what’s happening in your life and what it means to you, because others will never be able to fully understand it.

Don’t expect others to be your cheerleader. Leadership is about being an inspiration for others and keeping them motivated—but you also have to do the same for yourself. You may draw some inspiration from your team, but ultimately you have to set your own goals and motivate yourself to reach them. Learn to engage your own mind and heart as well as those of others.

Don’t expect praise or recognition. The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things; it’s the one who gets their people to do the greatest things. You may or may not get praise for your leadership from others, and expecting acknowledgement from others can sometimes set yourself up for disappointment. Learn to praise others without expecting the same in return.

Don’t expect people to read your mind. If you aren’t communicating openly and regularly, you can’t get upset with those you lead for not knowing what you think. Assumptions can be damaging, so don’t put your people in a position of having to guess. If they don’t have all the information they need, that’s on you, not them.

Don’t expect your leadership to validate your self-worth. Your value lies within yourself. Other people are tuned in to their own lives. If anything, they’re busy projecting their own needs and wants onto you. But as a leader you have to learn to validate yourself first—then everything will fall into line.

If you got into leadership hoping to get something you will be disappointed, because leadership is about giving to others. That’s why it’s important to learn to care for yourself in ways that can help you honor others.

Lead from within: You can’t expect to receive much beyond your own satisfaction from your leadership, but as a leader you are expected to be your best and lead by example.


#1  N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

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