Life is leadership and leadership is life.
How we lead ourselves is how we lead our lives.
A client of mine had an important interview not long ago, for an opportunity that she had been pursing for months. Her expectation was that this new position would give her the recognition she deserved for all the hard work she had put into the leadership of her team and project.
She later called to tell me that someone else had been given the position. She was extremely disappointed, and her first response was the same that most of use would have: She began to question herself.
Why wasn’t I good enough?
Why did they hire someone else ?
How will I ever get an opportunity like this again?
After acknowledging her feelings and great disappointment, I explained to her that she needed to look at the situation in a different way.
What if this position wasn’t meant to be yours?
What if there’s something better suited to you?
What if you were overqualified?
When we create expectations, we create connection to a outcome.
Expectations create an attachment to an outcome, a need for something to happen outside ourselves.
When we allow our expectations to take over we become obsessed with the way things are supposed to be.
We stop working in the present moment and bringing the best of who we are to the task at hand. We become less than ourselves.
Expectations create within us an intense gap between what is and what will be.
When we let go of expectations, we live in the present moment. We have the bandwidth for more curiosity, more creativity, more connectedness.
Expectations make us feel insecure. They feed our worst nightmares of uncertainty, doubt, hesitation, self-consciousness, anxiety, fear, and worry.
As leaders who lead from within, it’s important that we learn to let go of expectations and replace them with wonderment as illustrated in my post; Leadership of Wonder.
Wonder about the new position.
Wonder what else could be in store.
Wonder if you are supposed to be doing something else.
Lead From Within: Leadership is about earning and learning, to succeed as a leader you need to manage your expectations if you want to excel.
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.