Life is always telling us what we need to START doing. But it does not concentrate as much on the things we need to STOP doing.
We use all kinds of strategies to stop our life, love, and leadership and we have all kinds of mechanisms that we have cultivated in order to stop moving forward.
There are people who will laugh just so they can stop their tears.
There are people who will be center of attention just so they can stop feeling lonely.
There are people who will pretend to be happy just so they can stop their sadness.
What we don’t realize is that sometimes our behaviors keep us hidden from our greatness.
If we are to be successful this year in our life, leadership, and loving, we might need to put a stop to a few things
I have put together a short STOP list. Feel free to add your own items.
LIFE:
Stop being late.
Stop being so sad.
Stop bragging.
Stop doubting yourself.
Stop being so anxious.
Stop thinking you are the only one suffering.
Stop complaining.
Stop being so dramatic.
Stop being a martyr.
Stop being so ashamed.
Stop doing things you don’t believe in.
Stop thinking you are not worthy.
Stop being so angry.
Stop lying.
Stop wondering “what if.”
LEADERSHIP:
Stop interrupting.
Stop over scheduling.
Stop being bossy.
Stop being afraid of success.
Stop working so hard for so little.
Stop being a perfectionist.
Stop being judgmental.
Stop sabotaging yourself.
Stop being hypocritical.
Stop being narcissistic.
Stop criticizing others.
Stop having an affair.
Stop being an enabler.
Stop being a cliche.
Stop craving public attention.
LOVING:
Stop settling.
Stop being mean.
Stop arguing.
Stop being unhappy.
Stop looking over your shoulder for better.
Stop being moody.
Stop running from relationships.
Stop blaming yourself.
Stop being selfish.
Stop apologizing for yourself.
Stop being rude.
Stop philandering.
Stop being down on yourself.
Stop being spoiled.
Stop being afraid of commitment.
To stop is to change and to change is to transform.
What we have been doing does not have to become our fate. We can always choose to stop:
Stop impacting our lives in negatives ways.
Stop defining our moments by the behaviors of the past.
Stop reliving our habits that don’t work for us.
And, most of all stop apologizing for who we are.
Life is about learning, growing, and constantly developing.
We have starting many things, we are learning many things, and sometimes we have to stop many things.
You can’t stop the future or rewind the past, but you can stop what is not working in the present.
The time to stop is now because everything we want to achieve, to learn, to share can begin right now. If we don’t live within our best, if we don’t love with all our heart, if we don’t lead with compassion, then when will we?
Lead From Within: Be the kind of leader who stops competing, stops judging, stops comparing, stops blaming and become a better you. For who? For you. When? Now!
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
Jon Mertz
07. Jan, 2014
Excellent points, Lolly. When we stop doing certain things, it frees up space to do more productive and fulfilling activities. When we stop bad habits, we can start good ones. Great reminder for a new year. Thank you! Jon
lollydaskal
07. Jan, 2014
Love this Jon..
“When we stop bad habits, we can start good ones.”
So true!
Lolly
Sharon Reed
07. Jan, 2014
Great post, Lolly. Thanks for sharing!
Learning to stop apologizing and embrace the wholeness of who I am, shortcomings and all, is an essential step in my own journey. It not only helps me identify and stop those things that may block or limit, but enables me to stop giving my own power away to others, while opening myself to new possibilities for growth.
Here’s to a new year, filled with new opportunities for growth, love and learning! -Sharon
lollydaskal
07. Jan, 2014
Love your intention for the new year. Sharon! I shall join you in that.
Lets stop doing the things that do not serve us and lets start doing the things that nurture us.
Lolly
Terri Klass
07. Jan, 2014
Brilliant post, Lolly! A perfect one for the new year!
Half the battle is recognizing what we must stop doing to make ourselves whole and happy. We must acknowledge that maybe we are choosing to follow unhealthy behaviors, ones which might be habits at this point.
I decided this is the year for more risk and to stop being afraid to take greater challenges. I think we all need to see what may be preventing us from truly reaching our north star and then own it and act on it.
Thanks Lolly!
Chery Gegelman
10. Jan, 2014
Great post Lolly! It is so helpful to remember to shake off the things that aren’t working and to lighen the load before we add!
Terri – I can’t wait to hear about how those risks impact you personally and professionally!
Mark Caudle
07. Jan, 2014
Great post! In today’s society when we’re so distracted trying to do to many things, stopping what is hindering our success is important. Thank you Lolly!
lollydaskal
07. Jan, 2014
Mark
Very true, we get caught up in all the things we must start, we must do, we must begin, we must have.
To stop is make room for more, more goodness, more kindness, more love, more compassion.
Thanks for stopping by!
Lolly
lollydaskal
07. Jan, 2014
Terri
I really love your intention for 2014. If there is anything I can do to help let me know.
Lolly
LaRae Quy
07. Jan, 2014
Thanks so much for making me stop and think.
“The time to stop is now because everything we want to achieve, to learn, to share can begin right now.”
How many people wait until a “perfect” time shows up before moving forward? In the meantime, we live in mediocrity…
Love this post!
lollydaskal
07. Jan, 2014
YOU are so right, so many people wait for the right time, the right place, the right people, the right circumstances… STOP the moment is now seize it. love it. live it.
LaRae I loved your comment it inspired me.
Lolly
Panteli Tritchew
07. Jan, 2014
In Tibetan Buddhism, the metaphor of “hungry ghosts” represents beings that are driven by intense and insatiable emotional needs that cannot be satisfied. Because they cannot appreciate the moment in which they live, the Eternal Now, they are incapable of being fully alive. These ghosts are depicted as paisley shaped beings with tiny heads and large, bloated stomachs, a metaphor for the futility of trying to fulfill illusory cravings, whether physical or emotional.
Like “people who will be center of attention just so they can stop feeling lonely,” at some level, I believe that many of us dip in and out of the realm of hungry ghosts because “What we don’t realize is that sometimes our behaviors keep us hidden from our greatness.”
Buddhist tradition has it that any excessive behavior leads to its opposite. Too much attention to beauty makes one ugly. Too much focus on riches leads to an impoverished life. Too much boasting masks insecurities. Sail far enough west, and you will end up in the east. While this worked out great for Columbus, for the rest of us, stopping extreme behavior puts us on the Middle Path to Now.
Sending you fabulous best wishes for the New Year, Lolly, and gratitude for helping us be the best we can be, right here and right now!
Simon Harvey
07. Jan, 2014
Beautifully put Lolly, and so so true..
It is within our heart, within that moment between beats, between the in and out of a breath, between one note and another, that there is a perfect moment of peace, of balance, and harmony.
When we stop we can grow, we can find our anchor, our strength to go forward, to believe, to love, to lead from within.
When we STOP, we can reflect.
When we stop, we can open our heart, ears, eyes and spirit, to all that is around us.
When we stop, we can perceive what we could not see when wrapped in our own mental models.
When we stop, we can let go, we can accept we can not change others, but instead, know we can change ourselves.
When we stop, we can see the tree in the forest, we can perceive a moment of time as it ceases to exist, and we can become one within the flow of life.
These moments of reflection, tranquility and peace are places where we are open to what is, and what can be.
When we stop we can be awake to the magic of life, for as you write in your book ‘Thoughts spoken from the heart.’
“The magic of today is in the moment”
Gary Maggard
08. Jan, 2014
I absolutely loved this post! I want to share it with my wife and seek to apply it in our marriage and every day lives. This is rich in content and would be great to share with our church youth group for 2014!
Thanks so much!
Karin Hurt
10. Jan, 2014
This is fantastic! I love how you share the “stopping” advice across three spectrums of our lives… life, leadership, and love.
Steve Yeatts
10. Jan, 2014
Wow! Great take on the things we need to STOP. I saw more of myself in the STOP list than I am comfortable with – thanks for the prompt to do better!
Barbara Atkins
17. Jan, 2014
Thanks for sharing. When we stop doing these things, there will be time to smell the roses of life.
Chris Moody
28. Nov, 2016
I know I have to STOP some of those things on the list! Great to STOP now ready for a fresh 2017!