Stay Vulnerable Even When It Hurts

Each day that we make choices about our life and we don’t admit our vulnerability, we are robbing ourselves of our humanity.

Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength.

Many of us have been conditioned to be strong.

Many of us have been encouraged not to ask for help.

Many of us have been persuaded not need anyone.

To be human is to discover we can be vulnerable and still be strong.

We can ask for help and still lead and we can need others and still be tenacious.

Most creative, innovative, visionary people- are people who have lived their lives by inspiration and vulnerability.

You may feel that you have tried too many times too many things, or maybe you have been judged too harshly in the past and you have lost the innocence to stay vulnerable.

It takes a strong person to live openly in their vulnerability.

Admitting that you don’t have to solve every problem you face is strong.
Allowing yourself to say, “I don’t have to fix every problem” is strong.

In times of vulnerability:

Read biographies’ of others: see how others have struggled through their fragile moments and survived.

Start journaling: see where you need to remain open and admit your fragility, admitting vulnerability creates intimacy.

Begin self reflection: taking the time to go inward, begins with you, it gives you the answers are seeking.

You can’t solve a problem you won’t face.

You can’t protect yourself against possible hurt.

This world is about taking in not shutting out.

In order to find your way, you have to pay close attention to the signs about when you feel you want to shut down and hide behind those messages: I don’t need you. I can do this by myself.

We must reenter the truth of what is really going on and be honest.

We must stay vulnerable.

We cannot fear what lies within us, we can only love ourselves long enough to accept ourselves.

Lead From Within: The strongest people are the ones that can withstand their vulnerability and honor the balance about remaining open and being vulnerable.



N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Dan

    09. Aug, 2012

    Wonderful, Lolly.

    There’s so much of you in this. Only someone who has been to that place themselves can tell such a story…that’s where the inspiration in it truly lies. “I went there, it was tough, I came back, this is what I learned.” To be present in such a way offers amazing guidance to us all.

    Reply to this comment
    • Catherine-Core Coaching

      09. Aug, 2012


      Reply to this comment
      • lollydaskal

        09. Aug, 2012

        Owning our past can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from our future. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as threatening as staying stuck.

        Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      09. Aug, 2012

      Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable. Be strong. Be alive.

      Reply to this comment
      • Nicole

        12. May, 2017

        This is really true and really beautiful. I am just stepping into the strength of being vulnerable instead of looking at it as a weakness. I have opened up and shared, become vulnerable and it’s having a great affect on others. I hope it inspires others opening up, sharing and connecting!

        Reply to this comment
    • Robert

      30. Aug, 2014

      Bravo! Dan!

      Reply to this comment
  2. Jhannuzs

    09. Aug, 2012


    To be humble also is a way to learn more about quality life!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      09. Aug, 2012

      Remember you are stronger than pain and you are bigger than your failures. Be strong stay vulnerable.

      Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      09. Aug, 2012

      We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust… but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find what we are looking for.

      Reply to this comment
  3. Catherine-Core Coaching

    09. Aug, 2012

    something good to remember! thank you

    Reply to this comment
  4. KellyLako

    09. Aug, 2012

    There are times when u have a problem and it feels like the preacher is speakin to u. Thia articles has been it, thanks

    Reply to this comment
  5. Olaf Lewitz

    10. Aug, 2012

    Thank you. Awesome inspiration!

    Reply to this comment
  6. Vikki Sutton

    10. Aug, 2012

    Lolly, I love your blog! You speak truth.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Chery Gegelman

    11. Aug, 2012

    Lolly ~ Thank you for sharing this post!

    It is so simple, so POWERFUL and so true! At times this has been one of the hardest choices to make. …At the same time, if taking that risk provides the possibility of more peace, more joy, more life… Is there really a choice?

    Thank you for choosing to lead from a place of vulnerability!

    Consider Yourself Hugged!


    Reply to this comment
  8. Jon M

    11. Aug, 2012

    Great point, Lolly. In recognizing and embracing our vulnerability, we gain strength in becoming better people and leaders.

    Your point about reading biographies is an essential one. Through biographies, we learn about struggles, achievements, and principles that power people forward to do great things in life.



    Reply to this comment
  9. Greg Marcus

    13. Aug, 2012

    Thanks Lolly. I think people get in the biggest trouble when they think they are strong enough to face things by themselves.

    Reply to this comment
  10. Gail

    18. Aug, 2012

    Thanks for this timely wisdom, Lolly. I’m working on it.

    Reply to this comment
  11. Ed Hennessy

    23. Aug, 2012

    vulnerability and courage are different sides of the same coin, terrific comments about the strength of vulnerability.

    Reply to this comment
  12. Delna

    09. Sep, 2012

    Many thanks, it sure is a mind opener! I am very fortunate to have got to know of your site and have shared it on my blog, please do share some more of your valuable knowledge so that it can be of use to others….

    Hugs, Delna

    Reply to this comment
  13. Samantha

    23. Jun, 2013

    How have I MISSED this post Lolly!?!? : )

    You hit the big ones for me right at the top:

    Many of us have been conditioned to be strong.
    Many of us have been encouraged not to ask for help.
    Many of us have been persuaded to not need anyone.

    Being shamed for needing or requiring any help at all.

    So that has led to making it difficult to reach out and ask for help when those of us who are conditioned to believe we either aren’t worthy of help or are supposed to be constantly self-sufficient that we rarely, if ever, need any.

    In the past, I’ve even tweeted something along the lines of, ‘One of the biggest lies on the planet is the one that causes us to deny that we have any needs at all.’

    When we buy this lie (and it can be deeply ingrained and is one of my biggies), we wait WAY too long to reach out. Which can be life-threatening in some cases.

    Interdependency is the happy medium between being overly -dependent and hyper independent. The two extremes that can cause problems.

    Love this post Lolly!

    Reply to this comment
  14. Deb Pittam

    31. Aug, 2014

    Great topic and really great points you make. Currently listening to Brene Brown who has done so much research on this- completely in tune with what you say and worth looking at too. Great suggestions about what to do when feeing vulnerable. Thanks

    Reply to this comment
  15. Raghu

    26. Nov, 2015

    Lolly, Very true, I would say asking for help is an art. Many a times people tend to safeguard their image as you rightly mentioned as scared to being vulnerable… To succeed, you need to be strong, ie being in good terms with your past and current situation. That will build your Character.. Truly enjoyed you post and it has been a wonderful eye opener. Cheers, Raghu

    Reply to this comment
  16. Jeff Pendleton

    10. Dec, 2016

    I agree with Dan, word for word. Great observation Dan. Way to go, Lolly!

    Reply to this comment
  17. Divya

    19. Dec, 2016

    Very well captured! I’ve felt every bit of it…

    Reply to this comment

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