Sometimes You Have To Lose Yourself To Find Yourself

Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself- Lolly Daskal
Imagine yourself wandering the streets of an unknown city in which you’ve just arrived. You’re tired from travel, losing daylight, and uncertain where you’re going to spend the night.

Feeling lost when you are alone can be disorienting and daunting.

Now imagine that same scenario, but add the stress of a group of people depending on you to tell them where to go.

Added to that, an organization is relying on you to make the budgets work and the financials sound.

Added to that, you are responsible for accountability for performance and external orientation.

Though it is rarely discussed, today many of our leaders feel overwhelmed, and in this overwhelming feeling is a deeper sense of being lost.

They have lost their sense of stability.

They have misplaced their sense of responsibility.

They are searching for their sense of reliability.

Leaders today battle pressure that is high, hours that are long, and workplaces plagued by dysfunction. They are inundated with unending to-do lists and “must have” requests.

Many feel that they have fewer and fewer people to talk with and with whom they can connect. The higher they stand on the ladder in the organizational structure, the more isolated they are likely to feel.

As pressure mounts from the outside and expectations begin to crush our spirits, leaders must stop to reflect and reexamine their focus.

With so little security outside, we must search within our own minds and hearts. We must recognize and acknowledge our own feelings, our own emotions, and our own needs.

We must value our inclination to connect with others and contribute to ourselves.

We must remember why we are where and what our purpose is.

In doing so, we remind ourselves that the work we do matters and we call to mind that we matter.

As leaders, we don’t have to do this alone. We can reach out, we can reach in, and we can solve these issues together.

We will find when we have recovered our sense of meaning, we will have also reconnected with our purpose.

Lead From Within: As leaders we may sometimes feel lost, but it is in those moments that we can be found. Allow your instincts and emotions to inform your leadership. Stay open. Stay steady. Stay vulnerable. Stay strong.



N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Wayne McEvilly

    28. Aug, 2012

    Your enterprise online is so sterling and example of what one person might do to actually really connect with many others and that on an individual basis that I am hard pressed to come up with a way of expressing to you just how much I appreciate your presence in our universe of discourse.
    The substance of this blogpost speaks directly to dilemmas shared by all of us.
    We all need to really feel that what we are doing is of some importance, of some significance-we have all of us to hang on to that-it’s not a thing to lose touch with.
    When we begin to feel that belief in our value slipping at times, when we grow weary, or when there is that silence in the general air-no voice responding-of the responsorial readings have been vacuous and as if from a book ill gotten together…ah, thse are moments of great challenge, and there is, it is true, nowhere at such a moment to look for encouragement, or light on the path-nowhere but within-That is the moment which must be taken for everything that it is worth. That is the moment of bestowal.
    Thanks Lolly

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    • lollydaskal

      01. Sep, 2012

      “All that is gold does not glitter,
      Not all those who wander are lost;
      The old that is strong does not wither,
      Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

      From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
      A light from the shadows shall spring;
      Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
      The crownless again shall be king.”
      ― J.R.R. Tolkien

      Reply to this comment
  2. Aldo Moller

    28. Aug, 2012

    Thanks for the article!
    When going through an scenario similar to what you just wrote, our mind can go flying a hundred and sixty miles per hour, so to speak, thus preventing us to see what are the real, important or vital issues that require our attention. Many times the gravel of hundreds of things calling our attention to act, leave us distracted, powerless, frustrated, etc.
    We MUST stay calm, and remain FOCUS to gain that grain of clarity and sanity which will enable us to re-acquire the direction we need to go.
    Easy said than done…
    Thanks for your passionate leadership from within!!

    Reply to this comment
  3. Scott Mabry

    29. Aug, 2012

    You are so right on here. In the midst of our business it is so easy to lose perspective on who we are and why we lead. Be open / building support with others and taking time to reflect and restore ourselves is critical. Thanks for a great post.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Redge

    30. Aug, 2012

    Wonderful post Lolly … and through it all, we find grace, amazing grace.

    Reply to this comment
  5. John-Anthony

    05. Sep, 2012

    Always thought leadership was easy. It’s simple like A,B C. As a leader looking forward to lead youths to greatness, it’s been quite challenging staying on course. This post is so helpful to me especially at this point of my life.

    Reply to this comment

    11. Jan, 2014

    I was more than happy to find this internet-site.I wanted to thanks in your time for this glorious read!! I undoubtedly having fun with each little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Joseph

    04. Mar, 2016

    Ha lolly Your Blogs are All so Relatable to me , And always Right on Que. The Best Part is They Always Come at The Perfect Time . Everything I’ve Read Seems To Be Connected To my Struggles at That Particular Time And Also on a daily Basis , Trying To Stay Focused on the Priority’s at Hand , and What’s most Important to me , what I Receive Here Is a Reminder How Valuable Good Leadership Can Be , very Inspiring , Especially For me , Thanks for Helping Point me In The Right Direction.. Joe .

    Reply to this comment
  8. Dawood Chishti

    26. Jul, 2016

    A few words but carry a big message to relate oneself with people you know well and get the job done you are meant to.
    This happens when you firmly believe in yourself and the team you belong to.
    Then plan is framed well and it’s executed with utmost sensiority and dedication, asking everyone responsible from beginning to end.
    A spirited team leave the success aside and strive earning name for itself and their company as whole.

    Dawood Chishti

    Reply to this comment

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