Emotional intelligence (EI) is crucial for building strong personal and professional relationships. It influences how effectively we navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. However, not everyone possesses high emotional intelligence.
As an executive leadership coach, my experience has been that people with low emotional intelligence often use certain phrases that reveal their lack of self-awareness and empathy. These phrases can be damaging to relationships and hinder effective communication. Here are six common phrases used by those with low emotional intelligence:
“I knew that would happen.”: This phrase can come across as condescending and lacks empathy. It implies that the person using it is superior and fails to acknowledge the complexity of situations. Emotionally intelligent individuals offer support and understanding rather than judgment.
You’re too sensitive.”: This phrase invalidates the feelings of others and suggests that their emotions are not valid. It’s a dismissive statement that can make people feel unheard and misunderstood. Those with high emotional intelligence acknowledge and respect the feelings of others, even if they don’t agree with them.
“I’m fine.”: When used to avoid discussing emotions or conflicts, this phrase can indicate a lack of emotional intelligence. It may be used to shut down conversations or mask true feelings. Emotionally intelligent individuals are comfortable expressing their emotions and addressing issues head-on.
“You should…”: Unsolicited advice can come across as condescending and presumptuous. It implies that the person offering advice knows better than the person receiving it. People with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of active listening and only offer advice when asked.
“It’s not a big deal.”: Minimizing the concerns or feelings of others is a hallmark of low emotional intelligence. It suggests that their worries are unimportant or invalid. Emotionally intelligent people recognize that what may seem insignificant to one person can be a significant issue for another.
“I don’t care.”: This phrase dismisses the feelings and opinions of others. It shows a lack of empathy and an unwillingness to consider different perspectives. People with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of validating others’ emotions and engaging in constructive dialogue.
It’s not my fault.”: Individuals who struggle with emotional intelligence often have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions. They may shift blame onto others or external circumstances. Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, own their mistakes and work towards finding solutions.
“It’s just a joke!”: Dismissing hurtful comments or actions as jokes shows a lack of emotional intelligence. It minimizes the impact of one’s words and fails to take responsibility for the hurt caused. People with high emotional intelligence are mindful of the effects their words have on others.
“That’s not my problem.”: This phrase indicates a lack of empathy and a unwillingness to help others. It suggests that the person using it is only concerned with their own interests. Emotionally intelligent individuals show concern for others and offer support when needed.
“Just get over it.”: Telling someone to “get over” their feelings or experiences is dismissive and lacks empathy. It minimizes the significance of their emotions and suggests that they should suppress them. People with high emotional intelligence validate others’ feelings and offer support in working through challenges.
Developing emotional intelligence is a journey of self-awareness and growth. By recognizing and avoiding these phrases, you can cultivate more empathy, understanding, and effective communication in your personal and professional relationships.
Lead From Within: Using phrases that lack emotional intelligence can cost you respect and credibility, hindering your leadership potential.
#1 N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- How to Work with a Leader Who Lacks Emotional Intelligence
- How to Boost Your Leadership Emotional Intelligence
- 7 Signs You Have Low Emotional Intelligence In Your Leadership
- How Great Leaders Use Emotional Intelligence to Connect with Employees
- How AI Can Augment Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
- The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Why It Matters
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.