Love is a Leadership Competency

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 9.31.07 PMWhen I first started my coaching businesses, I used to use the word love with my clients. I told them:

Love what you do.

Love your people.

Love your work.

Love your company.

At the time, most people had never even considered that love could be a leadership competency.

People thought of love as a feminine quality, a simple emotion.

But as the years have passed, more and more of us have come see that love is not only feminine energy but has a masculine quality too. And it’s far more than an emotion; it’s an awareness that shapes everything about your behavior. It’s what allows you to lead from within.

Here are some ways to demonstrate love as a leadership competency:

Love yourself by showing compassion. If you want to lead from within, compassion is the first necessity. And the place to begin practicing compassion is with yourself. That means seeing yourself as a unique human being with faults, failures, successes and weakness—not deciding whether or not you are deserving. Showing compassion to yourself prepares you to extend it to others.

Love your people by showing your commitment. Honoring your commitments with integrity is not only a bedrock of ethical behavior but a sign of genuine love, letting others know that you can be trusted to come through for them. Love your people enough to let them know they can count on you.

Love your work by showing up with competence. Vision is a great starting place, but it’s competence that makes it into a reality. Results are important, and the care you bring to your work shows love for those you lead. When you love your work enough to contribute the very best of your capabilities, you lead with excellence.

Love those around you by showing kindness. The most simple act of kindness is powerful—nothing carries more potential for change. Kindness shows your love and transforms everyone it touches. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which are far more powerful then a thousand thinking heads. If you can show kindness, you are leader who loves.

Love is a game-changing competency, not only in leadership but also in life.

Work to become someone who leads with compassion, commitment, competence, and kindness—the qualities that define us as human beings and that propel us and those around us to greatness.

Lead From Within: When people ask you to name the most important competency of leadership, I hope you remember the competencies of love, because in the end love conquers all.


N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Artwork by Hugh MacLeod

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Sandra

    10. Feb, 2016

    Well said. Thanks.

    Reply to this comment

    13. Feb, 2016

    Yes I agree with you think you very much

    Reply to this comment
  3. john paul

    13. Feb, 2016

    “Love is but a song we sing”. Happy Valentine’s Day, Lolly! Thank you for ALL you do. You are amazing.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Glen

    13. Feb, 2016

    I agree 100 percent, I have been taught that loving your neighbor is not just talking about the people in your neighborhood,it’s talking about “helping anyone you can “. Paraphrased

    Reply to this comment
  5. achmad malichi puguh

    15. Feb, 2016

    i read..always..nice

    Reply to this comment
  6. Nabil.M

    17. Feb, 2016

    Love is not a leadership competency. But, leadership competency is producing love, And determine the level of love.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Duncan M.

    18. Feb, 2016

    Lolly, as always, your articles reveal a new and improved face of leadership. While for some love means weakness, for you is a sign of strength. And you are right! Only if you love what you do, you can give 100%. Excellent point!

    Reply to this comment
  8. Jen

    22. Feb, 2016

    Some would think of showing love toward your spouse, or your family, or even your friends, but I don’t hear too many people talk about showing love for your job and your company – though it really is just as important! Thanks for this reminder that there really is no area of life that can’t benefit from a little love.

    Reply to this comment
  9. Nelu Mbingu

    04. Mar, 2016

    I love this article (see what I did there 🙂 )

    I think that you need to love yourself first before you can love others, and I like that you alluded to that with the first point.

    Thanks for sharing this!


    Reply to this comment
  10. John

    10. Apr, 2016

    Yes love conquers all. Amazing Lolly how not only this rubs off and resonates with your co-workers but also your family and friends.

    Reply to this comment
  11. csgo skins

    21. Jun, 2016

    Thanks a lot for sharing your very good webpage

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