Difficulties and misunderstandings at work are a given and dealing with difficult situations are not always easy.
Do we allow our mind to have its say, or do we allow our heart to lead the way?
Mind is all about dramatic stories:
My boss betrayed me when…
My colleague is being mistrusted by…
My team disrespected me and…
We can all fill in the blanks.
The stories we tell ourselves about the people we work with and the things that happen are not objective truth. They are our interpretation of events, reflecting our own thoughts about people and events.
When we lead with heart we lead from within. We deal with love, not judgment. We reply with respect, not excuses.
We listen to discover and explore.
Leadership from within deals with the heart of the matter.
When you lead with heart, your actions are grounded in non judgment.
Instead of looking to blame, or to make excuses, leading with heart looks beyond.
Instead of a constant loop of victim hood, it causes us to think and act in ways that are beyond conscious mind.
Even when the case is one of absolute betrayal, abuse, or violent communication, we do not look to blame but seek to understand.
As leaders from within we carry a responsibility to seek answers and understanding:
What has caused my boss to betray me?
What has caused my colleague to be mistrusted?
What has caused my team to disrespect me?
In asking the questions we are seeking to understand and to learn from the heart.
Lead From Within: Heart is the energy that removes the dysfunctions of the stories we tell ourselves in our life and leadership.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
chirayur
25. Sep, 2012
do not agree here much. Workplace is a jungle and if you think with heart that the tiger must be hungry, he’s going to eat you up. With mind, unbiased and reasonable thinking cool head, you can make a rational decision, some good judgement.
I do agree when you say one has to let go of his grudges or sulking.
Bert-Jan ter Hofte
27. Sep, 2012
Today I interviewed 4 persons with dramatic stories: indeed the mind telling them that they are victims and that some others are perpetrators: the drama triangle was very active in this organization!
Your blog reminds me that LOVE is the cure … a strong and healthy sense of responsibility and self-discipline the effect.
Thanks for this blog, I will send it to the interviewees!
Bert-Jan
lollydaskal
27. Sep, 2012
Dear Bert Jan,
You are wonderful facilitator and coach, I am sure those that have the privilege of working with you understand and acknowledge that the stories we tell ourselves … are stories that keep us as victims.
The essence of of leading with love is acknowledging what is… its about what is happening in the moment that counts.
Team history, Boss dynamics, are stories that keep us in drama.
Love is the answer that leads the way.
Thanks Bert Jan for stopping by.
Valencia Ray MD
27. Sep, 2012
Lolly, thanks for this, and I so love this photo! The Tree of Love…. Yes, it is our “storytelling brain” that can either create stories of love or fear – depending on how WE perceive the situation. Our lives are a continuing journey of a return to love – our true Authentic State minus the drama stories we tell ourselves. We never arrive….love is infinite and there is always more love to give and receive. It’s freeing to know that there is no “finish line” and that I don’t have to worry about “arriving”. It really is about the journey. Growth is a process, hence leadership is a process. The more I grow, the more I am humbled to know that happily-ever-after is – Now. In each moment we get to choose – choose wisely. I do my best to choose love. Thanks Lolly!
Michael Wilson
07. Oct, 2012
Lolly, this is excellent. Leading with the heart and love is the answer. Employees are truly engaged with that level of respect.
Thanks for encouraging that level of leadership.
lollydaskal
07. Oct, 2012
Thanks Michael for recognizing truth, love leads!
Z Newell
23. Nov, 2017
I believe this is a two step process… That the mind and heart must work together in a unique way. They are a team; the heart leads but falls into the trap of the mind’s story. Only self-awareness can “catch the falling heart”.
Please visit: http://znewellinspires.com/leadership-key-self-awareness
for an expanded decription of this”belaying” effect.
Thank you, Lolly, for so many incredibly poignant posts on the inner workings of leadership. -Z