Leadership: Is Too Much Expected of Me?

Business is not local or national any more, but worldwide. The internet and social media keeps us connected constantly.

Nothing is private and most of us are dancing through hoops to keep up with the demand.

So if too much is expected of us, I say:


Get off the treadmill.

Do less.

Decrease the sound.

In order to succeed, we need to slow it down.

We need to expect less from ourselves and be okay with it.

We need to help others see that less is more.

We need to address this constant state of being on call:

Turn off the cell phone.

Shut down the computer.

Take the time to have a meaningful encounter

Make the time to tell the people you love that you love them.

Seek the opportunities that make you happy.

If you’re feeling that too much is expected of you, remember:

You make the guidelines. You set the boundaries. You put the brakes on it.
Otherwise you will be doing this until you can’t do it any more . . . and then what?

Kindness and gentleness toward ourselves are needed when we feel too much is expected of us. Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. That is why we need to take it.

Only in our breakdowns can we evolve and emerge. Only in our overwhelming moments can we say we need a change.

Lead From Within: Be honest with your capacity for giving. Be authentic with what you need and how much you need to take for yourself. Be okay with saying NO!

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Bruce Van Horn

    13. Nov, 2012

    Lolly, this is so true! Thanks for putting it so concisely. I write a lot about marathon training and one of the biggest mistakes runners (and most athletes) make is not taking enough time to rest. We push and push thinking the more we push the stronger we will get. That’s a huge mistake because our bodies actually build strength while resting AFTER a workout, not during it. Life is very much like this. It’s good to push hard, but it’s better to stop and rest afterwards to allow for personal strength building!

    As always, you rock!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      13. Nov, 2012

      To rest is to re-energize. To say no is to say yes to something important. To take off is to make time for more.
      Happy you stopped by Bruce your comment has added great value!

      Reply to this comment
  2. Wayne McEvilly

    13. Nov, 2012

    You have gone to the heart of a matter that haunts every life today – such a voice as you bring-clear, compelling-is so much needed. I would like everone to hear your message.

    Reply to this comment
  3. Poco (Ernest Sjo)

    13. Nov, 2012

    You are changing peoples lives for the better.
    Please keep doing what you are doing, however
    great or small.
    The words “Lead From Within” say more by saying less.
    Your definition is well complimented by self awareness.
    We are all valued by leading with honesty and compassion.
    Lead with intention.
    Lead From Within.
    ~ Ernest

    Reply to this comment
  4. ahmet

    13. Nov, 2012

    everything ı read thats true thank u x

    Reply to this comment
  5. anonymous

    13. Nov, 2012

    I agree to an extent, but I live with someone that feels overwhelmed by the stress of family life and work. She works over 40 hours a week, but several of those days require 10-12 hours shifts, and her hours directly conflict with family time; between 5p and 10p several evening a week.

    The result is that her interactions with the family are strained, because she’s always tired, and she feels as though she never has time to herself, because when she’s not working, she’s with our two small children, who seem to need constant attention.

    It’s not like she can say, “No” to her job, the obvious issue, in this economy, so the only components left are the people she loves, her family; me included. However, spending less time with the family isn’t going to help, because we’re not ‘together’ and interacting as a family more than 20 out of 462 hours a week.

    She uses social media as an outlet, because all of her friends are typically working when she’s available for socialization, so that’s not something that really makes sense to “turn off” either.

    In this case, it seems the only real option is for me to ‘do more’ by getting a job that will cover all of the expenses so she doesn’t feel so stressed out, and spent?

    I guess that’s my point though. Humans don’t live in a vacuum. The less we do, the more the people close to us will have to do to pick up our slack when we’re all already spread so thin.

    Reply to this comment
  6. Chris

    13. Nov, 2012

    I needed this reminder today! The phrase that stood out the most – Take the time to have a meaningful encounter

    Today, in our company, we have many celebrating Diwali (an Indian 5 day celebration of lights) and I did take time to engage folks celebrating to make it meaningful…and learned about another culture along the way.

    And the beauty of it…no electronics were involved. This was face-to-face. I believe we mutually gained benefit from this encounter.

    Great post Lolly!!


    Reply to this comment
  7. Lee Wise

    13. Nov, 2012

    Yes, and it seems to be that in being “honest” and “authentic” we take part in an ongoing adventure of evaluating who we are, where we are at, how we desire to manage life, and the reasons we desire to do so.

    Thanks for sharing!


    Reply to this comment
  8. Simon Harvey

    13. Nov, 2012

    Nice one Lolly, yup know and set your boundaries, if you don’t have them you are going to hit a wall. The beautiful thing about boundaries is that there are no set limits, they are just points that help us understand how far we can go, or for others to see and understand that this is where things change.

    Some boundaries are difficult to put in place and they do not always guarantee success, but without having them, hitting a wall is just about guaranteed.

    Stress is a real killer and it should be setting off warning signs to everyone to install their own boundaries, whether it is caused by work, SM, being connected or not being connected, it is up to each of us to have our boundaries that remind us that if we burn the candle at both ends pretty soon we will not know which is up or down.

    Leading from within is listening to your natural inner voice that has all the answers as to where your boundaries should be. Listen to them set the boundaries and remember that they are not walls but movable boundaries that while they may get moved around or worn out, they are always there.

    Awesome post, looking forward to tonight. Warmest,


    Reply to this comment
  9. Peter [tweet@maiguapk]

    15. Nov, 2012

    This morning I was talking with my wife who has a busy job and is constantly on phone or computer. She is naturally a go-getter. Recently she has discovered the ‘what’s up’ social platform that is adding the spin to the wheel…literally.

    I was asking her to once in a day to shut-down the world screaming for her attention and listen to herself. she said that is scaring!. Lolly, What you are teaching is extremely important.
    Keep it up and God bless

    Reply to this comment
  10. Karen Mallia

    15. Nov, 2012

    But will this advice work–unless men adopt it with the same frequency as men. It is the masculine code of industry that says myopia and singular focus on a career is necessary. Women usually know better. But if they act on it…does it undermine them???

    Reply to this comment
  11. Beth Miller

    15. Nov, 2012

    The most important point you bring out is the human connection versus all the technology that we use that creates a disconnection with others you care about. I just blogged about the Lost Art of Communications. It maybe interesting to your readers.

    Reply to this comment
  12. Linda Freeman

    19. Nov, 2012

    Great points! I agree.

    Reply to this comment
  13. Valencia Ray MD

    21. Nov, 2012

    Lolly, great post. I created my “Purpose Filter” concept for this very reason. I began the journey into overwhelm a couple of decades ago so I had a head start in looking for ways to manage it in a sustainable manner. My conclusion is that as I’ve become more self-accepting/self-love and separate “Who I am” from “What I do”, I am better able to know my True Self and come from my authentic Heart – what I value and what my purpose/mission is.

    I’ve also been better able to “integrate my brain”, meaning tap into those right-brain qualities of reflection, recreation and relationship connection instead of constantly, “doing” (left-brain focus). This way, I can serve others from a place of health and abundance instead of from a place of needing validation and “looking for love in all the wrong places”. For this evolving wisdom that I have received, I am truly Grateful. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

    Reply to this comment

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