There is no way to get away from gossip; people are interested in one another, and regardless of what you do there is a good chance you are the topic of a gossip session somewhere.
Even if all you do is avoid people and stay in your house, that fact alone can provide ground for the neighborhood gossip mill.
Many problems come from gossiping.
Gossiping can hurt others and damage their reputations if it involves rumors.
People who gossip might be a lot better off using the time improving themselves or at least looking at why they are so interested in someone else’s life.
Lead From Within: Why not honor and respect the people around you by gossiping about their positive attributes.
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Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
Bruce Nunnally
22. Jan, 2010
I agree. The next time you feel a desire to speculate about someone (gossip), try assuming that they are acting with noble intent.
Then as you speculate on their action or choice you are more likely to focus on the positive, and perhaps actually gain insight into their purpose.
Susan Mazza
22. Jan, 2010
Because gossip is such a natural behavior I think we get numb to the harm it can cause. We can have conversations with people that lift them up or drag them down. We have the same opportunity when we talk about someone who is not there. We get to choose. I think what you wrote here is a great reminder that it is actually a choice – to have conversations about people that lift them (or their identity) up or drag them down.
Lolly Daskal
22. Jan, 2010
The best way to avoid the pitfalls of gossip is to learn to process wisely information that comes out of your others.
Less Gossip. More Kindness.
Karl B Stewart
17. Feb, 2010
Thanks, Lolly. I will aim to gossip ONLY about people’s good qualities. That works for me. What I was using before was, “only talk about people while pretending they are hearing every word you’re saying.” I also pay attention when someone talks about someone else, since what they are usually most upset about is some expressed or repressed quality that bugs the speaker internally. I then try to bring the conversation around to solutions to resolve the inner issue for the person in the room with me.
Lolly Daskal
17. Feb, 2010
Karl,
Since my post, I have actually made revisions in my life. New Motto: Do not speak bad and do not speak good. Just concentrate on making a difference in the world.
Karl B Stewart
28. Oct, 2010
I like that, Lolly. Focus on making a difference in the world. And I’m learning over time that the world is right here, right now vs some bigger then or distant past.
Lolly Daskal
28. Oct, 2010
Karl, We are all here to make a difference each one of us.