Like a rear view mirror, feelings face backwards. They show what is behind us- not where we are now and not where we are going.
The way we feel now has been conditioned by lessons we learned in the past.
Our habitual feelings are reflections of where we have been and who we have been with.
To keep ourselves emotionally balanced, we need to remember that feelings are not facts but responses that require both listening and monitoring.
If we feel fearful, angry, depressed or overwhelmed, we first need to acknowledge the feeling. We need to separate it from the situation.
We can say to ourselves, “While I am having this feeling, it is not an unalterable condition. It is a response to a particular situation.It may be a warning, or it may be an unfounded fear. In order not to become overwhelmed by my feelings, how can I change the situation or my response to it?”
Emotions need recognition and acceptance, not only attention, while at the same time maintaining a sense of clarity and balance.
Lead From Within: Allow your feelings to guide you, not control you. It is your decision to be in charge
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
17. Feb, 2010
Very important lesson Lolly. Thank you, most especially for reminding me that “feelings are not facts, they are responses…” For me this awareness provides access to allowing my feelings to be, and to use them as a guide rather than allowing them to control me in the present or shape my future reality.