There is no way to avoid it. You will face it when a situation frightens you.
You and I know what it is…
It is Fear….
Fear has many names, apprehension, misgiving, trepidation, dread, horror, phobia, terror, always foreboding, fret, distress, panic, and worry. And this emotion is probably the most common limiting emotion for many people.
If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear, Would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?
Some of you have grown so accustomed to fear it has become a part of your daily lives. When you withdraw from a situation in order to save yourselves from failure, you have chosen instead another kind of failure: failure to take all you can from life, failure to be all that you can be. Every experience can move you forward in the understanding of yourselves. When you withdraw, you stay stuck in a world you need to leave behind.
Fear is an acronym: False Expectations Appearing Real. For the most part, what you fear is not real- it is merely your mind imagining something awful that has not yet happened.
Seldom do you do the thing you fear, so you seldom discover whether or not your projection of disaster is accurate. Fear breeds lack of experience, lack of experience breeds ignorance, ignorance breeds more fear. It is a vicious cycle.
Sophocles (Fifth Century B.C.) knew this when he wrote, “To him who is in fear, everything rustles.”
How do you handle fear when it shows up: Face it. Explore it. Accept it. Respond to it.
Facing fear-means you can stop running from the voices in your heads that make you hide and cringe.
Exploring fear– means you turn around and walk straight towards the big scary bully.
Accepting fear– means you see the fear and you realize some things you cannot change.
Responding to fear– means you change your response when fear shows up.
Changing your habits – your vocabulary-your thinking will help you change your perceptions.
Decide today- that you won’t be one of those people who are a victim to their thoughts and habits. Conquer your thoughts today and become the great warrior, enjoying the life that has meant to be for you.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.-Aurelius Marcus
These steps are simple but powerful – Be aware of your fear, Do not run, Do not hide, Do not cover it up with excuses- Make that courageous move- Move straight toward it. The fear you have today- the one you spent a lifetime trying to ignore is about to become your greatest teacher.
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
18. Jul, 2009
Thank you for the inspirational post!
18. Jul, 2009
This caught my eye. We all know it and have Our own unique form of it. The one we must control only the person them self can make that commitment to control a particular change in their life. Fear has devastated many. Just the idea that this subject could be dealt with on such a massive Scale delights me. Gives me that peaceful feeling inside of me.I am happy to see people like your self actually helping people. I consider this a monster in society today.Thanks to you for throwing such value to us.I wish this could be one of the subjects that could and is going to go to the forefront of all our minds.Just imagine what a wonderful thing it would be. I personally Thank You
God Bless you and yours
19. Jul, 2009
Your new acronym – face, explore, accept, respond – is a fresh and energizingly bold move in an ultimately healthy direction.
Strong, affirming changes of habits, vocabulary and thinking lead to greater freedom, too. Well said!
Monica Diaz de Peralta
19. Jul, 2009
I always love your posts, Lolly! Sound thinking and much heart to them. Fear has so many names because we have been afraid of even calling it by name. A bit like not mentioning Vodemort’s name in the Harry Potter books! But once you call it what it is, it loses some of its hold on you. Loved the acronym and the straightforward talk about it. It is not that brave people have no fear, it is that they deal with it. The old question can always help me spring free of it: “What would you do if you were not afraid?” If it is not what I am doing, and I don’t like where I am, it means I still have options!
19. Jul, 2009
Loved your comment. I especially loved your question you posted: “What would you do if you were not afraid?” My answer is: As Shakespeare said, Be just, and fear not.
Fear will be a charge as long as you let it. Our mission if we care to accept it is, to live life that is not lead by fear. How we relate to fear determines how we do in life, and maybe it is the essence of who we are.
19. Jul, 2009
Fear is an emotion we can all relate to. In thinking about it, many people immediately think of it as something that is bad, something to be avoided. But fear is good. It sharpens the senses, focuses the mind. The issue is not fear, but how we respond to it.
Fear is powerful. It can make you do anything — or nothing.
It would be great if we could all begin to see that though fear can paralyze us and lead us into ineffective action, it can also be a springboard to growth, freedom, and creativity.
This is a great post Lolly. It acknowledges the fact of fear and gives us a simple but powerful approach to make the most of it.
22. Jul, 2009
This is a fantastic article – love the acronym, and the fact that you give people something tangible to actually DO in the face of fear, rather than vague mantras like “Feel the fear and do it anyway” or worse yet, “Don’t be afraid”.
One thing I share with my clients is that fear lives in the future, not the present. Anytime we are afraid, we’re scared of something happening that hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes it is the immediate future, like one second from now, but it’s still not NOW.
Ex: If you see a rattlesnake at your feet, the future fear is that he’s going to bite you. But once he bites you, you’re no longer scared of him biting you, you’re now scared of dying from the bite.
Our fears are always, always, always in the future. So whenever I find myself feeling fear, I try to remember this concept and bring my focus and awareness back to the present moment.
What can I focus on RIGHT NOW, that will get me into action. And since it’s physically impossible for the human mind to focus on two things simultaneously, by focusing on your actions in the moment, you cannot be focused on the fear.
Again, fabulous article! Thanks for sharing.
24. Jul, 2009
Really Excellent article! I work with anxiety and phobia clients as an NLP practitioner and Hypnotherapist and my experience confirms your point. You hit the nail right on the head.
Language can be a huge trigger for fear. A phrase I’d like to share with you andyour listenter that truly helps is:
“Why does it work out better than I can possibly imagine?”
the “why” question programs your unconscious mind to begin to build evidence contrary to the fear. the presupposition in the sentence predict an outcome that is way better than what you were previously imagining.
hope it helps!
Mark Shepard, “The Courage Coach”
24. Jul, 2009
Boy do I love your art pieces. They are mesmerizing and your blogs are always spot on.
“When you withdraw, you stay stuck in a world you need to leave behind.” I love this statement. Yes, we have to make choices that empower us every day.
02. May, 2010
One of my favorite quotes that I took from an event I attended with Michael & Rickie Beckwith was “Having fear and worry is like paying interest on a debt you haven’t borrowed”.