Don’t Say YES When You Mean To Say NO

It is so easy to say Yes and it is much harder to say No!
We say YES because we are afraid of displeasing or disappointing others.
We say YES because we hate confrontation or a challenge.
The bottom line is every time we say YES to something that is unimportant we are saying NO to something that is important.
We cannot please our clients, customers, prospects all the time. It is a given we will disappoint some people along the way. Exercise the power of NO in your relationship and business and avoid years of regret.
Our objective is to stand up for what is important to us.
You need to say YES to your needs and values and NO to the noise and commands.

Lead From Within: The key to heart based leader is saying NO when you mean NO.

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Teresa

    13. Apr, 2011


    I concur that many times we need to honor ourselves and have a point blank yes or no. Would you agree that it’s also okay to recognize that saying no doesn’t always necessarily mean that it’s not important? Sometimes it simply means that there are things that have a higher priority in the moment.

    I said no to a wonderful opportunity this week. I want to revisit it in the future but in this moment it cannot be my top priority, therefore it was a no. I have found it easier & easier to do over the past couple of years. It is very empowering!

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  2. travelwade

    23. Apr, 2011

    Lately I’ve been reading a lot about the power of saying no and I liked the way you phrased it.. When you say yes to things that are unimportant to you–you are saying no to what is. It is also relinquishing a huge amount of power over the direction of your life to someone else. And I agree with Teresa’s comment–it is very empowering to say no and walk instead in the direction of your dreams.

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  3. Ralph

    25. Apr, 2011

    I have always said ‘No’ to what I don’t want in my life. Along the way this has brought me respect from people who were originally trying to manipulate me. Giving them a firm ‘No’ let them know where they stand with me.
    I have no time for people pleasers or duplicitous people. I have had ‘Yes’ men coming to me and complaining about the people to whom they’ve said, Yes’ when they didn’t really want to. Their insincere ‘Yes’ has just gotten them walked all over. Nobody respects a ‘Yes’ man.

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  4. James Stanbridge

    26. Apr, 2011

    “The bottom line is every time we say YES to something that is unimportant we are saying NO to something that is important” – perfectly said Lolly.

    Some of the most successful people I’ve worked with are exhausted, burnt out with the effort – not of being successful, but of carrying all the unimportant things with them that feed their insecurities about deserving their success.

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  5. Conor Neill

    10. Feb, 2012

    I often avoid the actual use of the word “No”. If someone wants to meet for coffee, I say “yeah sure, i am free on Friday at 7am at my office in Sabadell [25 mlles away]”. If the person still wants to meet then it must be important.

    However, is this still cheating myself? If I mean “No” should I get in the habit of really saying “No”? Thanks.

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