Change: The Sixth Sense

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In addition to the traditional five senses – sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch – we have a sixth senses: our emotions. It is the sense that directs, modifies, and condenses our other five senses.

It is our emotional sense that gives us the ability to understand and describe what we experience.

Our emotions arise from our own perceptions, and in turn they play a big role in determining how we respond.

Our emotions are made up of language all their own. When our emotions speak, we are compelled to listen.

Change affects our emotions. To be successful in the face of change, we have to understand what we’re feeling and know how to express it appropriately.

Most people are familiar with the renowned psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and her work defining the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

The same model has been applied to organizational change.  We go through a grieving curve when we are faced with change.

We may engage in denial by refusing to accept the reality of the change, or rejecting information that forces us to face that reality.

We may experience anger toward ourselves or others we perceive as being responsible.

We may try to bargain our way into an unsustainable compromise that’s really an attempt to reject the change at hand.

We may become mired in depressive thought and behavior that leave little energy to deal with anything else.

There are as many combinations of these stages as there are people. And for organizational change, the process becomes even more complicated as people interact and influence one another.

Change can be successful when we tap into our sixth sense, when we acknowledge and deal with the emotions of the people who are affected.

When it comes to organizational change, we should:

  • Maintain connection.
  • Listen with empathy.
  • Rely on those who show strength.

Change cannot be comprehended without taking into account our feelings.

Lead from Within: Listen to the voices of those affected by change, and be respectful and mindful of the feelings they express.

 

 


 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images


Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

46 Responses to “Change: The Sixth Sense”

  1. Alli Polin

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly –
    Change is not only a business process that can be managed through a series of spreadsheets, webinars and conference calls but a HUMAN process that’s personal and emotional. Any change that only speaks to the minds, and not the hearts of the people won’t stick. Understanding a change and a willingness to go through the emotional transformation to embrace the change are two different things.

    Thanks for the great reminder for all organizations and business leaders of the emotional process that accompanies any and all change.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      05. Feb, 2013

      You are correct Alli change is not only a business process it is a life process.

      As you can see we need to keep reminding ourselves that there is an emotional process when it comes to change.
      and we should give ourselves a break.

      Happy you stopped by.

      See you tonight on #leadfromwithin

      Reply to this comment
  2. Warren'Coach'Nye

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly:
    Change can be a beautiful thing, something we all can go through and adapt. But change can be also discouraging. It needs to be brought on in a controlled manner and directed. It doesn’t matter if it’s in business, sports or personal life.
    Thanks Lolly for sharing!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      05. Feb, 2013

      Dear Fellow Heart Based Leaders,

      The concept of change applies to life, leadership and love.

      Who we are at work, is what we bring from home.

      This sixth sense post, is for all the organizations I work with that think that CULTURE CHANGE is a work thing.
      So I am taking the time in the next six weeks to dive deeply into CHANGE to show CHANGE is a HUMAN thing.

      Bear with me as I unveil the levels of human behavior that it takes to make change successful in all aspects of life.

      Reply to this comment
      • Jesse Stoner

        05. Feb, 2013

        This is a wonderful post, Lolly. And I think you are spot-on in making this important distinction about change. I’m looking forward to reading the rest of your series.

        Reply to this comment
        • lollydaskal

          05. Feb, 2013

          Dear Jesse,

          Human Beings drive change. The sooner we understand that -the more successful change will be.

          Thanks for stopping by.

          See you tonight on #leadfromwithin

          Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      05. Feb, 2013

      Warren change can be beautiful and then there is no issue.
      But what happens when change is not so beautiful how do we handle it then….

      And hopefully this post THE SIXTH SENSE enlightens us.

      Reply to this comment
  3. ashish raghav

    05. Feb, 2013

    dear Lolly,we are agree with you,but you know very well,mostly people are not think so,they have note feel or accepted thate trooth.
    again we agree your think.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Sharon Reed

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly – Thanks for diving into this important dimension of change. I share your perspective and agree with with Alli’s comments above. While the traditional tools, protocols and processes of change management provide a necessary structure for transitions, when we fail to acknowledge and factor in the human-emotional dimension of change, even the best processes will fail us, both individually and organizationally.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      05. Feb, 2013

      Sharon,
      What a treat!

      Great to see you here. I agree both with you and Alli – yes when it comes to change we have traditional tools, protocols and processes.
      but if are to examine – change implemented successful – all of them involved engaging and embracing the human aspects of being.

      Thanks for sharing!

      See you tonight on #leadfromwithin

      Reply to this comment
  5. john

    05. Feb, 2013

    thanks lolly,,applying the stages of grief to change,now that you told me,it makes perfect sense…grief after all, is for the most part nothing more than a reaction to unwanted change.Unfortunately change is inevitable.No one is able to refuse change,we can only refuse to set a path,or direction we want our change to follow.if you cant stop time,you cant stop changing.

    Reply to this comment
  6. Wayne McEvilly

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly –
    I look forward in the next six weeks to following your contemplations on change.
    In my morning twitter sessions I follow my intuition in what direction to take – this morning “Energy” has emerged as a central theme – I find this most applicabe; you say “We may become mired in depressive thought and behavior that leave little energy to deal with anything else”…..it is so important to have powerful tools to deal with this – otherwise overwhelm ensues – the issue must be dealt with from the heart and our box of tools has gotta be installed there.
    Thank you for another thought-inducing action-inducing post.
    Wayne
    .

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      05. Feb, 2013

      Agree Wayne, when you say…
      .it is so important to have powerful tools to deal with this – otherwise overwhelm ensues – the issue must be dealt with from the heart and our box of tools has gotta be installed there.

      We need to equip ourselves so we can move forward.

      Thanks for your thoughtful comment. See you tonight on #leadfromwithin

      Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      Wayne,

      You are an energy of LOVE.

      Reply to this comment
  7. Terri Klass

    05. Feb, 2013

    This is a wonderful post about human reaction to change, Lolly! The model is a perfect way to look at an individual’s feelings regarding change because any change does involve a death. When change happens we are saying goodbye to something that was and will no longer exist. It can be like a loss sometimes and we need to acknowledge it. I look forward to the rest of your posts. I love reading them.
    Terri

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      Terri,

      change is a loss.

      a loss of control
      a loss of meaning.
      a loss of value.
      a loss of knowing.

      it is all provokes a sense of grieving and if we understand that…

      we can be more successful at transformation.

      Reply to this comment
      • Amber-Lee Dibble

        10. Feb, 2013

        Lolly, I was going to comment where I was supposed to, but this is the frosting on the cake…

        I am dealing with the results of change, right now, second hand. By that I mean someone very important to myself and others are dealing with change, change of a world that no longer exists… and my heart breaks for it and my frustration is building…

        What I wonder is how can anyone else help with this very personal process? If it indeed is a type of grieving, does it have to be done (mostly or basically) alone? Is there nothing I can say or do (more than I already have done or said) more than I have? More than simply “being there”?

        This is a wonderful post. You really put words to the feelings in a way I hadn’t thought of. Thank you for this.

        Reply to this comment
  8. Kimunya Mugo

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly, great post here. Thank you for sharing. More and more, I am starting to embrace change as an opportunity rather than a challenge. It is an opportunity for me to explore other possibilities; an avenue to adventure rather than torment. With this mindset, I find the ‘grieving curve’ has less of a gradient. At the top of the curve, I can then glide down the curve of opportunity to claim my prize 🙂

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      This is golden truth:

      I am starting to embrace change as an opportunity rather than a challenge

      Those words are game changers in life and leadership.

      Thanks Kimunya for sharing.

      Reply to this comment
  9. Lucille Fisher

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lolly,

    Great post. Being aware of our emotions in regards to change is very informative and powerful. We only have control over how we respond to a situation not the situation itself..

    Thanks for the insight.

    Lucille Fisher
    @sageandsavvy

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      Lucille, what a great point!

      …..thanks for adding the golden nugget of thought…..

      We only have control over how we respond to a situation not the situation itself..

      Brilliant and insightful.
      Thanks for sharing.

      Reply to this comment
  10. john paul

    05. Feb, 2013

    I am reminded of the intra-personal exchange between my heart and my head. Sometimes when going through change it is my head that keeps my heart beating on the right path concerning the emotions of change. I usually think of it in the other direction. Thank you, Lolly. I am not sure if this was the intent of your message but what you wrote took me there. I guess the caveat is being in touch with your heart and calling on your resources when in need. Of course tie this to organizational change and we have a big cultural heart/mind set to deal with.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      blog posts are like art.

      John what you understand it to be, that is what it is…

      I can mean something but you can hear it the way you want.

      I like the direction you went and if it ends up bringing heart and mind together and lacing it with love. I am all for it.

      thanks John.

      Reply to this comment
  11. Norman

    05. Feb, 2013

    I really like your post, Lolly, and the many comments on the importance of feelings as a “sixth sense.” I would add, and tag onto John Paul’s comment, that not only are both logic and feelings important for truly relevant dialogue (interpersonal or intra-personal), but it is also important to understand that the syntax or “logic” of feelings is not the same as for logic! Required are dialogues between two different systems of “logic” or syntax, no? My best! ~Norman

    Reply to this comment
  12. Jack O'Halloran

    05. Feb, 2013

    Lady, your insight of spiritual side of humanity is brilliant. Change is a key for each individual to know they have the self discipline. To achieve this wonderful inner being which is self. I learned a breathing concept many years ago. From an art called Pa Qua Hop Sing, it is one of the oldest martial arts. Centering on breathing and disciplining the inner self. There are things I must do each day to keep this freedom of self bondage. My ability to live today for what is real in my inner spirit has become a miraculous control over the energy of me. I have learned to control the smallest word in my vocabulary NO. Today I don’t have to live that way! I can be wonderfully spiritually free.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      Jack,

      I am not familiar with the art of Pa Qua Hop Sing, but it seems to give you the freedom and discipline that you seek and that to me is beauty on itself.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughtful wisdom.

      Reply to this comment
  13. James Robinson

    06. Feb, 2013

    Thanks for this Lolly. Very nice post. I agree with your points above and would like to think that we could even go a step further! Since our individual experiences of life are subjective and filtered by emotional states, getting insight into the motivation causing the emotional state would provide the basis for a dialogue around the change. In turn, helping others to find a new perspective on the distressing situation, motivating and empowering them.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      James I could not have said it better and I totally agree,

      “Since our individual experiences of life are subjective and filtered by emotional states, getting insight into the motivation causing the emotional state would provide the basis for a dialogue around the change. In turn, helping others to find a new perspective on the distressing situation, motivating and empowering them.”

      Thank you for adding to the dialogue of change.

      Reply to this comment
  14. German Roldan Jr

    06. Feb, 2013

    Awesome information on change. Like always you hit the nail.
    Looking forward the upcoming series.

    Reply to this comment
  15. Norman

    06. Feb, 2013

    Thank you for the invitation to say more, Lolly, about how the syntax of logic and emotions are different. Here are some beginning differences. Logic’s goals are to be right and objective. Feelings goals are to be heard, and are subjective. A person speaking from the space of logic wants to be told they are understood and correct. A person speaking from the space of feelings wants to be told they’ve been understood and valued.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      06. Feb, 2013

      I must say Norman Thank you for elaborating on thought and concept..

      When I train my lead from within leadership model, i train leaders to see and understand that there are all kinds of leaders and followers and how you speak and express yourself can make a difference.

      We have leaders who are power, meaning and feeling

      power leader says: I WANT
      Meaning leader says: I THINK
      Feeling leader says: I FEEL

      You nailed it Norman, i truly appreciate your comments.
      it has been very enlightening to see others speak the same language.

      Best to you ..come back next week as I expand on suspension- The missing link of change and leadership.

      Reply to this comment
  16. Agus

    06. Feb, 2013

    Hi Lolly,

    Actually everything in this world will and must change. Just look at our self. We came to this as the infant by know nothing. Grow and getting older. That is change.

    There is a change consciously and intentionally and another unconsciously and unintentionally.

    The point are as follow in my opinion:
    What kind of change that we want it?
    Why we have to change?
    What we gonna do by this change?
    Where we will go by this change?

    It’s just little opinion from me.

    Thanks for your interesting article.

    Agus

    Reply to this comment
  17. Anna Christina

    07. Feb, 2013

    Our leadership team is in the middle of planning for a big change to take place this summer. It will greatly impact my area so I’ve been actively involved. What has been really interesting to see is that ALL levels go through these stages when it comes to change. Even the people planning and implementing the change go through an evolution because, in a lot of cases, it impacts their jobs as well (sometimes to the point that they might find their job is irrelevant in a new structure).

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      07. Feb, 2013

      Anna,
      Going through change takes enormous amount of sensitivity. Be mindful of your people. It takes a village to be successful.

      Reply to this comment
      • lollydaskal

        07. Feb, 2013

        We need to remember that people make change work (or not work) and that people strive to re-establish control, during change.
        They want to understanding add value….and the only way to be successful is to help, develop, grow, the people and get their commitment by going through. predictable stages and senses.

        Reply to this comment
  18. Don Jensen

    07. Feb, 2013

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Jesse Stoner and yourself are on my top ten favorite bloggers on “leadership”. Keep up the good work and looking forward to this discussion. I’m hoping you the total 6-7 weeks in one post.
    Blessings,
    Don J.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      07. Feb, 2013

      Thank you Don!

      Your words warm my heart. Jesse Lyn Stoner is brilliant. I am a HUGE fan of hers!

      I like your idea of condensing the change articles in one manifesto.
      Thanks for your creative idea.

      See you next week when we talk about SUSPENSION.

      Reply to this comment
  19. David J Zimmer

    13. Feb, 2013

    I find it interest that this post is about the 6th sense, yet most of the comments are about change. Change is a fact of life because life is constantly changing and evolving. Our ability to deal with it is determined by our emotional maturity.

    The key to increasing you ability to using your sixth sense is understand emotions. Some call that emotional maturity or being emotionally balanced. I point this out because the 6th sense is “consciousness” and the language of consciousness is emotions. In other words, those who understand emotions also are also very intuitive. They have a highly develop 6th sense.

    Reply to this comment
  20. Agim

    20. Feb, 2013

    Grweetings for you Mrs, Lolly , from Your dear : Agim,,,

    Reply to this comment
  21. Chelsey Strickler

    25. Feb, 2013

    Lolly,

    Thank you for this. As a college student, I encounter plenty of change. I have found that, as humans, we tend to rely on routine. When that routine is tampered with or changed in any way, we tend to allow the change to rule our emotions. The way you compared change to the five steps of grief was great. I plan on looking at the rest of your series on change. I could use a bit of guidance and your blog has been wonderful so far.

    Thanks again!
    Chelsey

    Reply to this comment
  22. Mar

    19. Jul, 2013

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    Reply to this comment
  23. Moussab

    20. Feb, 2018

    Awesome thanks so much

    Reply to this comment

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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