Ask For Help

Asking for help is not something we do naturally. We often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, feeble or ashamed; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. We don’t have to belittle our desire for help. We all need others for support and information so it just makes plain good sense to take advantage of every shred of expertise available through reading, friends, and work.

We all need feedback- someone to bounce ideas around with, someone who can be honest enough to give you a straight answer. Having people we can count on (and who in turn, count on us) is essential.

None of us have all the skills needed for success. As our sages teach, “Who is wise? One who learns from everyone.” A wise person seeks the cooperation and help of others, especially of those who have knowledge and skills which they do not posses themselves.

Love yourself enough to seek help.  Your greatest gifts lie just beyond the things you fear the most – so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions. Knowing others who care about us are out there, whether or not we ever need them.

We don’t have to handle everything alone. There is nothing we need to prove.  There is minimal risk in asking for help; the real risk is in not asking.

Lead From Within: Only those who ask for more can get more and only those who know there is more, ask.

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Peg Rowe

    15. Oct, 2009

    Lolly, this post really strikes a nerve. So often I have clients who are soooooo generous with helping others, they delight in it. And yet, they are paralyzed by the idea of asking for or accepting help. Once they begin to see that asking for help is actually a gift, to themselves and others, it can be life changing.

    Thanks for the reminder!

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    • Lolly Daskal

      15. Oct, 2009

      A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then.

      Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, “Are you using all your strength?”

      “Yes, I am,” the little boy said impatiently.

      “No, you are not,” the father answered. “I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you.”

      Just lift your eyes. Look around. People do want to help.

      Reply to this comment
  2. Janet Vanderhoof

    15. Oct, 2009

    Some of us need to learn this more than others, especially when we are thought of as the strong one and never needing help, but always giving it to others. I had to learn this the hard way when I had my son Blake, who has Down’s. I was always a very independent person and felt I could do it on my own. It would have been so much easier if I asked for help and when I did that I didn’t feel like a failure or weak.
    It is a gift to ourself when we realize that we are worth the help that we give others. And that being part of a team is a more powerful way to get things done.

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  3. Edward Philipp

    15. Oct, 2009

    We I wanted to wirte a book I put three of us together by asking Warren Whitlock and Lee Pound to CoAuthor it.

    Now Profit Thru Social Media will be out in March, 2010.

    Could I have be this far along on a book without them, Yes.
    But not likely.

    Lolly this is a great idea that we need to keep repeating, because we forget our own power. The power to ask for help.



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