Are You Being Authentic?

Perhaps you are feeling tired, empty or depressed because you are draining energy as you push your inner desires away.

Maybe you thought that pleasing others… parents, teachers, bosses and spouses was the way to be. Maybe you played by other people’s rules.

Just as the world around you is changing and evolving, so are you.

You now want to travel to new places. You want to stop doing what others want you to do. You want to stop struggling and straining. You want to become more competent, independent – and able to meet our your own needs.

You no longer want to chase someone else’s dream; you want to live your own dreams, you want to come to grips with the idea of being our own person. You want to start living an authentic life, a life you were meant to live.

But living an authentic life requires the courage to face personal truth.

That truth might be how you really feel about yourself, what fears are blocking your success, which habits are preserving the life you have, or what dreams you have suppressed.

The universe will challenge you and sometimes you will try to dance as fast as you can, trying to distract yourself from the inner work that needs to be done. Denying your inner truth is like trying to keep the lid on a pressure cooker that has built up too much steam.

If you know in your heart that you’re not using your most precious gifts or pursuing your dreams, you will not feel passion for the path that you are on. You will find life unbearable.

To find this authentic life, you must find it in yourself.

How do you do that? You must tune into your inner wisdom.

Ask yourself the question “What is important to me?” and then listen to your inner voice, and trust what you hear.

Value your mind, the power of consciousness and clear thought, because your inner voice will quietly guide you within to a clear path that resonates for you – it will lead you to live a life, that is aligned with your purpose.

This pathway will reflect what you believe, how you feel, and what you know.

Living authentically is being committed to the truth of who you are.
It is setting the intention to walk with your purpose more fully and gratefully.
This work is a lifetime process, but in each moment, we have a choice.

What choices will you make to live authentically today?

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Janet Vanderhoof

    20. Jun, 2009

    Being around other like minds, it does bring up more questions, for example as you said “Am I living an authentic life” and also am I enjoying my life and not living have to’s should’s and must do’s. I have had a long life thinking that way. No longer. I am giving myself permission to think differently and be open to that small voice that is requiring attention. Thank you.

    Reply to this comment
    • Lolly Daskal

      20. Jun, 2009

      Dear Janet,
      Here is to both of us– To Living an authentic life – listening to our inner voices as guidance and trusting our journey will lead us to our purpose.
      Thank you

      Reply to this comment
  2. Erica

    22. Jun, 2009

    I really appreciate this post. It could not have come at a better time for me. I’ve been avoiding my truth for years and telling myself I didn’t know what was true for me. In fact, I was denying my heart’s desire (to be a writer!) and trying to ‘come up’ with a more conventional career path that everyone else would approve of. Of course, this felt wrong and has caused lots of heartache.

    I realize now, that my happiness depends on my ability to live in the truth of who I am.

    Thank you for this inspiring post.

    Reply to this comment
    • Lolly Daskal

      22. Jun, 2009

      Dear Erica,

      Being authentic and finding that flame that ignites our passions is what make this life worth living.
      Wishing you much happiness and the courage to stay true to who you are.


      Reply to this comment
  3. The Barking Unicorn

    23. Jun, 2009

    Beware of becoming Attached to a “life’s purpose” that you have struggled hard and long to find. Clinging to a purpose when its purposefulness has gone turns Joy into suffering.

    “Everything always changes so nothing can be yours.” – Shunryu Suzuki.

    Therefore a life cannot have a purpose. Every life has multiple purposes at different times. “Follow your heart” implies that the heart is always moving, turning, pointing you at new things in new directions. Follow constantly. Never tarry too long in one place. Don’t wear out your welcome in a particular purpose.

    “Be soft in your practice. Think of the method as a fine silvery stream, not a raging waterfall. Follow the stream, have faith in its course. It will go its own way, meandering here, trickling there. It will find the grooves, the cracks, the crevices. Just follow it. Never let it out of your sight. It will take you….” Sheng-yen.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Kirk Miller

    24. Jun, 2009


    Excellent article. Really hit me right where I am at. I really appreciate your site. Seems like we are on the same path.


    Kirk l

    Reply to this comment
  5. River Girl

    27. Jun, 2009

    Great article and the painting is beautiful!

    Reply to this comment
  6. B Kite

    17. Jul, 2009

    If I look inwards and see that I want money and fame and easy work, does that count as authenticity? I wonder if there are certain important questions you should be asking yourself to find the authentic you.

    Many of us are very connected to the immediate gratification we get from our choices. Many of us do not know how to sit quietly and ask the right questions and breath. I think personal coaching is what helps one go on this journey and no one article will help someone find their “inner wisdom” because they can be fooled into thinking it is when it isn’t.

    Reply to this comment
  7. Jacqyes Werth

    03. Aug, 2009

    Twenty years ago, at the age of 53, I found my raison d’etre. Changing the lives of thousands of salespeople is one of the most gratifying things I have ever done.

    Teaching them how to sell on the basis of mutual trust, mutual respect, and authenticity gives them back their self-esteem and self-respect. It enables their high ethical standards to be well rewarded. It enables them to live the rest of their lives based on those principles.

    Reply to this comment
  8. Bryan H

    08. Sep, 2009

    This was timely for me to read. It is the part of my life that I struggle with the most; being what makes me the most happy versus being what others expect me to be. Thanks and well written.

    Reply to this comment
  9. Shalini Bahl

    17. Oct, 2009

    I just came upon your site and enjoyed reading your posts and other comments of people. Keep up the good work of bringing mindfulness to work!

    I also wrote about the authentic leader that you may find interesting:

    Adding to B Kite’s point I wanted to point out some questions one can ask to tap into one’s purpose:

    And I also wanted to say I loved the Barking Unicorn’s point about the changing nature of life, so there cannot be a purpose, and it is important to be fluid and flow…

    Reply to this comment
  10. Kate Muker

    02. May, 2010

    I really enjoyed your article, we share a very similar philosophy for living. Each day I try my best to be guided by my inner diva. Some days are better than others. It’s been amazing to observe how my life unfolds when I listen to my heart (inner diva).

    Reply to this comment
    • Lolly Daskal

      02. May, 2010

      Kate, It is so great to see you. Inner wisdom is the best guide for our life directions.

      Reply to this comment
  11. Henry Pena

    04. Jun, 2010


    Thank you for sharing this wonderful article with great insights and inner probing questions.

    Yes, living authentically is a moment to moment experience. I often find myself “holding back” due to fear and other self-induced illusions. I’m still overcoming past programming that no longer serves my best and highest good… it’s a process for sure.

    Again, thanks for your insights and I look forward to reading more!

    Best Regards,


    Reply to this comment

Leave a Reply