People-pleasing behaviors significantly impact individuals in leadership roles. A study from the University of Zurich links people-pleasing tendencies to increased stress levels and decreased well-being.
As an executive leadership coach, I’ve witnessed people-pleasing tendencies holding leaders back from reaching their full potential. The desire for others to like and accept them leads to problematic behaviors, such as avoiding conflict, compromising values, and taking on excessive work. If you constantly put others’ needs ahead of your own and struggle to assert yourself, you may be a people pleaser. Here’s how this behavior pattern hinders great leadership.
Tough Decisions Become Difficult: People pleasers often avoid making unpopular decisions, even when necessary for the team or organization’s good. They may dodge tough choices or delay decision-making to avoid disappointing or upsetting others. This indecisiveness leads to missed opportunities and a lack of direction for the team.
Boundaries Are Not Set: People pleasers find it challenging to say no and set limits. They take on too much work, agree to unreasonable requests, or allow others to overstep boundaries. This lack of boundaries leads to burnout, resentment, and a loss of respect from team members.
Constructive Feedback Is Avoided: People pleasers shy away from giving critical feedback for fear of being disliked or causing upset. This avoidance hinders individual team members’ progress and the team as a whole.
Personal Values Are Compromised: People pleasers may compromise their own values and beliefs to avoid conflict or disapproval from others. This leads to a loss of authenticity and integrity, which are essential qualities for effective leadership. When leaders are not true to themselves, they risk losing their team’s trust and respect.
Strong Relationships Are Difficult to Build: People pleasers often struggle to build deep, authentic relationships. Their focus on pleasing others leads to superficial connections and a lack of genuine trust. Strong leadership requires the ability to form meaningful, trusting relationships with team members.
If you recognize these people-pleasing tendencies in yourself, start working on breaking the pattern. Practice self-awareness, identify your underlying fears, set healthy boundaries, communicate assertively, and prioritize your own needs. However, don’t try to overcome deep-rooted patterns alone. Hire an executive coach who specializes in helping leaders overcome people-pleasing tendencies. A skilled coach will provide personalized strategies, support, and accountability as you break free from people-pleasing and become a more effective leader.
Lead From Within: Your worth as a leader is not determined by how much others like you. It is determined by the positive impact you have on your team and the world around you.
#1 N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- The Best Way To Break A Bad Leadership Habit Quickly And Permanently
- 7 Simple But Important Habits All Great Leaders Master
- The Top 7 Leadership Habits to Avoid at All Cost
- 5 Harmful Habits Sabotaging Your Team’s Success
- 10 Habits You Should Give Up To Feel More Confident
- The Habits of Highly Ineffective Leaders (And How to Avoid Them)
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.