99 Simple Ways to Gain the Respect of Others

We all want to be respected–by our boss, our colleagues, even our friends and family.

But it takes work to earn that respect. First you have to learn to give respect, act and think with confidence, and learn to be trusted.

Here are 99 simple reminders to make sure you’re on the right path.

1. Give more than you get. Give respect to get respect.

2. Respect yourself. Respect comes first from within.

3. Offer respect. Respect those around you.

4. Maintain your integrity. It’s the cornerstone of earned respect.

5. Keep your promises. We don’t respect anyone for making a promise, only for keeping it.

6. Add value. The more you focus on adding value for others, the more respect you will get.

7. Learn to spell Respect:

Remember basic kindness.
ncourage others.
tand firm in your convictions.
lay fair and smart.
xtend a helping hand.
ause no harm.
hink before you speak.

8. Find people doing the right thing. People will respect you for acknowledging them.

9. Avoid the temptation to share everything in your head. No one needs to know everything you’re thinking. Get respect by keeping it simple.

10. Be respectful of the feelings of others. They’re just as important as yours.

11. Hold to the truth. Express yourself with honesty.

12. Invest in what matters. Place your time and energy with the things that are important to you.

13. Go outside your comfort zone. People respect those who take chances, take risks, and seek challenges.

14. Suspend judgment. Even though people will judge you, do everything you can to avoid making quick judgments about them.

15. Live your values. Don’t just talk about your values; let them show in your actions.

16. Be authentic. Live your life on your terms and live it bravely.

17. Express appreciation. The most respected people genuinely express appreciation in terms that are specific and positive.

18. Be honest but tactful. Better to be honest than be impressive.

19. Stay positive. People respect positivity.

20. Fight the good fight on the critical issues. Respect is accorded to those who know which battles are worth engaging in.

21. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions and listen.

22. Go the extra mile. And take others with you. Exceed all expectations.

23. Forge partnerships. Surround yourself with people who have qualities you admire.

24. Know your priorities. Identify the most important things in your life so you can make them top priority.

25. Lean in to your likability. Whatever your position, you can be collegial and kind and connected with those around you.

26. Have a good memory. It’s a big deal to people when you ask them about important events in their lives.

27. Delegate as much as possible. Allow others to show off their strength and respect them for it; in turn they will respect you.

28. Be inspiring. The ones who gain the most respect are usually the ones who inspire others to do great things.

29. Always be on time. It shows respect for others.

30. Think ahead. Be mindful of others and help them come with solutions and strategies that work for them.

31. Speak your mind. Strong opinions and lots of ideas gain respect. Just don’t be obnoxious about it.

32. Be prepared. Show respect by knowing what to expect with each interaction, meeting, or conversation.

33. Don’t be afraid to ask how you can help. Don’t shy away from people who are struggling. Even if they decline your offer, they will remember it.

34. Own it. Have strengths without boasting; and own it by sharing it.

35. Play to your strengths. When you do the things you are good at, you earn the respect of others.

36. Acknowledge the dignity of others. This simple attitude is worth everything.

37. Apologize. When you are wrong, simply say you are sorry.

38. Say what you mean and mean what you say. People learn to trust and believe in what you say through your consistency.

39. Share your assets. What skills represent your greatest strengths? How can you share them with others?

40. Trust your gut. Knowing when something doesn’t feel right is important.

41. Don’t sweat the small stuff. And remember, it is all small stuff.

42. Learn to say no. Respect is cultivated when you can say no and back it up with rational and legitimate reasons.

43. Live by a moral code. Figure out what you stand for and share it with the world in small acts of kindness and integrity.

44. Never miss a deadline. The best form of respect is to get things done well and on time.

45. Respect those who are hard to respect. Behavior is not always worthy of respect, but the person is.

46. Hear different perspectives. Be considerate of other people’s viewpoints, and recognize that every opinion is valuable.

47. Be willing to compromise. Work with others to reach a solution is acceptable for everyone.

48. Don’t kiss and tell. Sometimes, it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you don’t say.

49. Pick your battles. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do to keep the peace.

50. Take the high road. Set high standards for yourself, and do everything you can to meet them every day.

51. Practice authentic listening. When you listen, you show that you care.

52. Never waste anyone’s time. Respect the value of other people’s time.

53. Take responsibility. Own your actions, personally and professionally, at all times.

54. Dress the part. People make impressions in the few seconds. Dress for respect.

55. Know your triggers. Become mindful of what pushes your buttons and don’t allow yourself to get carried away.

56. Excellence matters. Respect comes from setting high standards and working hard every day on meeting them with excellence.

57. Carry a smile. A confident smile is almost never out of place.

58. Trust and be trusted. Behave in a way that generates trust and builds confidence, which in turn gets you respect you deserve.

59. Be a connector. Bring people together who will find each other valuable and helpful.

60. Maintain equanimity. Keep it simple and remain true to who you are.

61. Watch your body language. Make sure it is congruent with the words you are speaking.

62. Mind your manners. Good manners open many doors.

63. Make time. We respect people who make time from their busy schedule to show us they care.

64. Remember feelings matter. Be mindful of other people’s feelings–it may mean everything to them.

65. Learn from others. Acknowledge how much you don’t know.

66. Don’t try to be all things to all people. Sometimes we get caught up in pleasing everyone and we end up pleasing no one.

67. Treat others as you’d want to be treated. It’s called the golden rule for a reason.

68. Listen to learn. Give people a chance to speak. Be a listen-to-it-all, not a know-it-all.

69. Know your boundaries. Set them clearly and stick to them.

70. Keep it simple. Take what is complicated and make it simple.

71. Capitalize on feedback. When given well, it motivates and inspires.

72. Devote time each day to reading. The more you know, the more you can do.

73. Generously share your connections. The benefits return to you greatly.

74. Never gossip. As the saying goes, great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about other people.

75. Get to know others. Developing close relationships, working to know more about others, shows that you’re worthy of respect.

76. Remember people’s names. And give them a reason to remember yours.

77. Be inquisitive. The more that you ask, the more you can learn.

78. Choose carefully whom you spend your time with. Do they elevate and challenge you?

79. Honor humility. True respect comes from the humility of knowing that every person you meet can teach you something.

80. Avoid contradictions. Remember that whatever you say, you must do also.

81. Be stubborn when it matters. People respect those who stick to their guns when it’s called for.

82. Be fluent and firm. If you can be expressive, concise, and firm in what you say, it leaves no room for misunderstandings.

83. Have a sense of humor. Find the funny side of life; it will serve you well in almost every situation.

84. Focus on quality, not quantity. Make what you do count by giving of yourself to the people or causes that are most important to you.

85. Perform small acts of kindness. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, and a kind word or a listening ear. A small act has the potential to turn a life around.

86. When you say no, mean it. Show respect for yourself and be consistent with everything you say and do.

87. Be a mentor. Find someone you can help and make yourself available to mentor them.

88. Express your love. Respect is one of the most meaningful expressions of love. Express yourself often.

89. Always acknowledge when someone does you a favor. A simple handwritten note or a small token of appreciation can make a big difference.

90. Consistently expand your network. Work on creating an inner circle of people that you resonate with and learn from.

91. Be your own coach. If you wait until you are ready, you will be waiting for the rest of your life. Take risks and earn respect.

92. Don’t be a martyr. Don’t do anything that does not feel good or sound good; remember, respect is earned by authenticity.

93. Keep the naysayers in your life away from your dreams. You may even want to exclude negative people from your life completely.

94. Identify the yes-sayers in your life and keep them close. Rely on the people who believe in you and are unafraid to tell you the truth.

95. Always say please and thank you. Graciousness and good manners put people at ease.

96. Make a list of the things you can’t live with and the things you can’t live without. Keep the list focused on the essentials and review it often.

97. Count your blessings. Celebrate accomplishments and be grateful for all that you have.

98. Be who you are behind closed doors. A measure of who you are is exposed when no one is watching.

99. Be fully present each moment. If you stay present completely to the moments as they pass, you live them more richly.

When you can gain the respect you deserve, the confidence you need to lead successfully, and the ability to connect well with others, you’ll be well on your way to leading a meaningful life.

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R


What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

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