The Gift Of Receiving

Posted on 17. Dec, 2013 by in Blog, Lead From Within, Leadership, Leadership Development, Life Balance, Life Skills, Personal Development, Relationships, Self Help, Teachable

Screen Shot 2013-12-16 at 6.59.59 AMThere are many articles written about the benefits of giving, the power of giving, the gift of giving. But we don’t see many articles on receiving.

We are constantly told that it is better to give than to receive. And we have come to accept that giving is right and receiving is wrong, that giving is strong and taking is weak.

But life is not structured that way. It is about not only giving but circular motion, ebb and flow, give and take.

Life is not only about giving but learning the gift of receiving. And as we have worked to become the best givers, we have shut ourselves off from receiving.

The gift of receiving teaches us that everything is interconnected.

For one person to receive, someone else has to give.

It’s a cycle and we need to develop new skills to experience it all:

Know you are good enough. Once you’ve begun accepting your own gifts, you’re ready to receive the gifts of others.

Make space for receiving.  Start small, by receiving a smile or a hug. Get used to receiving and being grateful.

Open your heart. Cherish the fact that other people want to give to you. Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart.

Put an end to keeping score. Remember that life has its way of giving us what we need and that gifts keep going around and around.

Stop being disappointment. Embrace what is being offered, however imperfectly, and go with what is being given. Remember that people give what they can.

 We are great givers, but we have lost the gift of receiving.

 

The gift of receiving is not only about getting more out of life; it is about receiving life as a gift.

Our lives reflect a universal process. All of reality shares in our struggles, feels our pain, celebrates our joy, and cheers us on to live fully.

Conversely, all of reality hurts when we inflict pain upon others and ourselves. We are all connected—to one another, to the universe, and to all that is.

No matter what we tell ourselves, we are not alone.

Knowing this and understanding this may help us comprehend that ~for every gift there is a receiver, for every receiver there is a provider, and for every circumstance there is a supporter.

Once you’ve begun accepting your own gifts, you’re ready to receive the gifts of others.

 

Lead From Within: When you receive, you have an opportunity to give the gift of gratitude, the gift of acknowledgment, the gift of saying, “Yes, I see and appreciate you.”

Lolly Daskal is the president and founder of Lead From Within a coaching and consultant firm that manages large scale corporate coaching and custom made leadership programs. Connect with Lolly Daskal

© 2013 Lolly Daskal. All rights reserved.

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41 Responses to “The Gift Of Receiving”

  1. Simon Harvey

    17. Dec, 2013

    Dear Lolly,
    Once again a beautiful post and so so true. The greatest gift we are given is life and within every moment of it are a wonder for gifts for all to share in. Nature offers some of the greatest gifts I know of and have received and I do so every day. All this takes is to open your heart and mind to the possible and love.

    It is so easy to get wrapped up into giving that we forget to be open to receiving, not just to the words of thanks, smiles and hugs, but the feeling and emotion within them.

    As you say in ‘Thoughts Spoken from the Heart’

    “The greatest gift you can give someone is your full attention”

    This is so true and so important as it is within this moment that you will receive your own gift. It is hard to recieve when you are closed.. You must open your heart to receive what is there but can not be seen. What is within the gift of life, love and compassion.

    I say give yourself the perfect gift this season and be open to what you will receive.
    Give the gift that keeps on giving, Be Bold, Be Beautiful, Be YOU.

    I will sadly have to miss yet another #leadfromwithin chat tonight as I have a very early start, but my heart will be there.

    Warmest wishes, your friend Simon.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      17. Dec, 2013

      As always Simon, your words are poetry. Receiving goes way beyond a smile, a hug, a nice word, but for some who have a hard time receiving, who see receiving as weak, we have to start somewhere, we have to start with small gestures.

      What a shame you will be missing leadfromwithin this evening, I feel your beautiful heart would have contributed int he most meaningful way this evening.
      You will be deeply missed.

      Love to you Simon, happy holidays, said with a smile, a hug, and warm heart.
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  2. Jon Mertz

    17. Dec, 2013

    Lolly,

    Wonderful thoughts on receiving. You are right. For many of us, giving is easier than receiving. It is an add dynamic. Instead, in receiving, we gain in knowledge, understanding, or just a simple lift up when needed. We need to receive gratefully and then, when we can, we need to give to another, passing it on and hoping we set a great example of how to receive well.

    A great message, Lolly. Thank you for always leading from within and with heart.

    Jon

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      17. Dec, 2013

      Jon,

      Thank you so much, for your kind words, this post took me a long time to write, I am a great giver, and a lousy receiver, this post was for me
      to learn about the ebb and flow and the give and take of life. I will learn from those who do it well, I will watch and try to acclimate the
      world of the receivers. I have much to learn.

      Thanks Jon
      Hope to see you tonight. #leadfromwithin @8pm est.

      Reply to this comment
  3. Martina

    17. Dec, 2013

    Great post, Lolly. You are correct, receiving is such a more difficult concept and act for many people than giving. Some of this is no doubt ingrained because of what has become societal norms.

    Receiving sends a clear message that we are not perfectly whole or complete, as we would prefer the world to believe.

    Giving can fill our hearts if done with the right motives, but being able to receive freely is a light to our very souls.

    It is as you say, we are not alone. And when we can complete the cycle of serving and being served, we are assured of that.

    ~ martina

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      17. Dec, 2013

      sheer poetry that speaks to my heart Martina.
      Giving can fill our hearts if done with the right motives, but being able to receive freely is a light to our very souls.

      Beautiful words, that speak to my heart. Thank you Martina!

      Reply to this comment
  4. Karin Hurt

    17. Dec, 2013

    I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. Another important reason to receive is that it makes us stronger. The stronger we are the more we have to give others.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      17. Dec, 2013

      Receiving makes us feel less alone, more worthy, more included, more seen. in turn that gives us strength.

      Thanks as always Karin for making my mind stretch and my heart soar.

      Feeling strong!
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  5. Alli Polin

    17. Dec, 2013

    It’s so easy to downplay and brush aside the gift we give others and to ourselves when we receive with grace.

    I’m reminded of when my son made a fruit salad for my husband and I. He worked so hard and made it with so much love. It looked just awful and he sat smiling, excited and so happy as he watched us eat it not because he wanted kudos but because it was a gift from him to our belly’s and hearts. As we received his gift, we not only were a part of the cycle but also teaching him how to do the same.

    Beautiful post, Lolly!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      I love your story! You always bring life lessons that we can all learn from.

      I receive a lot from your wisdom.

      Thanks and Happy Holidays Alli to you and your loved ones..

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  6. Terri Klass

    17. Dec, 2013

    For me too, Lolly, receiving is so difficult. In some way, it does make us feel not as whole.

    However, when I look into the faces of people or hear their words of fulfillment after they have given me something, I am reassured that receiving is also divine.

    I love your line: “The gift of receiving teaches us that everything is interconnected.” Brilliant Lolly! It makes so much sense that giving and receiving are one in the same and need one another. We need both in our lives!

    I am grateful for receiving all the knowledge and wisdom you share!

    Terri

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Receiving is difficult for me too.

      This article took a long time to write. I wanted to write about something i learned and something I can share on the subject of receiving.

      For me- the biggest lesson of receiving is letting go of expectations on how and what I receive. I must learn to be open to receiving without judgments.

      Happy Holidays.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  7. Rachel Pryor

    17. Dec, 2013

    Thanks for the care you’ve taken, Lolly.

    The ‘cycle’ of giving and receiving you speak about – so easy to give well and yet receive poorly. I can receive in a state of ‘me’ or a state of ‘Us’ – and I will make or break each gift depending on how I am toward the giver.

    I’m going to my my car now to find the little star that was crocheted for me for me to hang on my tree – and I have not yet done so. How have I received….?

    Wow – thanks!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Rachel

      For some reason your story about the crocheted star made me teary eyed.

      How many times have we been given but did not realize we have?

      How many missed opportunities did we let pass us by?

      How many circumstances did we shut ourselves off from receiving?

      Profound thoughts came to me after reading your comment.

      Thanks for stretching my thinking!

      Reply to this comment
  8. Garren Fagaragan

    17. Dec, 2013

    Lolly…

    I’ve been a relatively closed
    receiver until a giver told me.

    “Will you just allow me to be
    generous and express my
    gratitude to you?”

    uh…well…yeah.

    Being an open receiver is
    vitally important…for generosity
    …love…gratitude and more…
    to continue to circulate and
    touch lives.

    Circulate on…

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Thank that GIVER Garren!

      Your messenger was an angel reminding you life is about giving and receiving!

      Allow it to come in! Accept the gifts of life.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  9. LaRae Quy

    17. Dec, 2013

    Great thoughts here, Lolly.

    “Life is structured in a circular way.”

    You are so right! For one person to receive, someone else has to give. And to be enabled to live life to the fullest, we have to learn how to experience it all…both giving and receiving.

    Loved it…and here is to “receiving” the gift of friendship :-)

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Truth…

      For one person to receive, someone else has to give. And to be enabled to live life to the fullest, we have to learn how to experience it all…both giving and receiving.

      Now that we know it… How do we start living it? Cultivating it? Experiencing it?

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  10. Bill Benoist

    17. Dec, 2013

    This is why I think it’s so important that we learn to acknowledge our wins and be proud of them. The more positive self-talk we engage ourselves with, the more fulfilled we become.

    Lolly, thank you for your gift of time and effort to providing such thought provoking and interesting writings. You always offer an enjoyable read.

    Reply to this comment
  11. Panteli Tritchew

    17. Dec, 2013

    Many of us within the #leadfromwithin community have taken active leadership roles; with that trust comes responsibility, which we accept or simply take for granted.

    The buck has to stop somewhere. We have earned our positions. We have given to the community and to the corporation. We have done the heavy lifting—that’s how we got rewarded. We become programmed to give, of our talents, of our skills, of our experience, of our knowledge—ultimately, of ourselves.

    Somewhere on our leadership journey, at some indistinct moment, giving becomes so reflexive, so natural, so subconscious, that we literally program ourselves, one act at a time to be unconscious of the distinctly human act of receiving. Worse than simply forgetting, when we do this, we atrophy an important dimension of human reality, of human *being,* when, as you say, “we have worked to become the best givers, we have shut ourselves off from receiving.”

    We are so programmed by our material culture to equate generosity with giving that we have forgotten that to simply open our hearts and minds to receiving from others is itself a gift. A very timely post for this time of year-thank you Lolly. And a special thanks for your wonderful gift for me to co-host on #leadfromwithin tonight.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Panteli

      The most important truth you have stated: We are so programmed by our material culture to equate generosity with giving that we have forgotten that to simply open our hearts and minds to receiving from others is itself a gift.

      That sums it all up!

      now what?

      Reply to this comment
  12. Karen Jolly

    17. Dec, 2013

    I really enjoyed this post Lolly – especially this time of year. Your point “put an end to keeping score” is so important. There are times when we have more to give and times when we need to sit back and allow others the opportunity to give to us. When we can truly appreciate the gift in both the giving and receiving it becomes a joy for all.

    My adult children remind me of this, especially through the holidays. I am always wanting to tell them to not worry about giving to us, since I know they are starting out and watching every dollar. But I take away their ability to see themselves as whole, wealthy and empowered when I don’t receive. And that’s a far greater gift to give them then money!

    Thank you Lolly for sharing your love and wisdom.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Karen

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing with us your lessons on receiving. I have so much to learn and so much to acquire.

      I would like to learn to be a better receiver and learning from others on they do it -I know – will help.

      Thanks
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  13. Daymond

    17. Dec, 2013

    We all need to each other, it perfectly fits into give and receive, in order to work with fluency they need each other, that´s the cycle of life.

    Wise and sharp post

    Reply to this comment
  14. theteapixie

    17. Dec, 2013

    Oh Lolly!
    Once again, a lovely post. We can receive with abandon, just as we can give with abandon.

    It is my fantastic fortune to experience both. I can’t recount the number of times the generosity of others has enveloped my life in love. I was taught to give without expectation (even to lend in this way). I was never taught to receive without expectation. For many years I struggled with receiving and then I reflected on the amazing joy I experience when I give. Giving is truly a selfish experience.

    And who am I to rob another of experiencing the joy of giving? When we can receive with grace and authentic appreciation, we give the gift of joy to the person who has honoured us. That is the magic.

    “People give what they can.” Never, ever forget this. No matter what the gift is. You may never know the circumstances of a giver, and really, that is irrelevant. It is the authenticity with which the gift is given that matters.

    Please consider reading, “The Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist. She discusses the value of giving and the process of receiving in such an amazing and beautiful way that you will never, ever feel that you have nothing to give, or that you have not received enough.

    Thank you so very much, Lolly, for writing another heart-touching article.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      I love that idea We can receive with abandon, just as we can give with abandon.
      But one that is difficult for me.

      What you say is so true: “People give what they can.” Never, ever forget this.
      this is a lesson a learning that we must remember. this is an important aspect to receiving!!!

      I appreciate your thoughts and I want to acknowledge your heart for I have received beautifully through reading your comment.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  15. Marinda

    18. Dec, 2013

    Dear Lolly, Great post, I enjoy all your insight and just love everything that you post because everything you say is from your heart

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      21. Dec, 2013

      Thanks Marinda,

      I do speak from the heart thanks for recognizing that. I appreciate you very much for the acknowledgment.

      Happy Holidays

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  16. Agus

    19. Dec, 2013

    A fallen leaf is needed by the soil…
    One die to survive another…
    Sunshine is stored by the Moon to be returned in the night..

    Thanks to share..

    Reply to this comment
  17. Tammie

    20. Dec, 2013

    I receive a lot of smiles and hugs :)

    Reply to this comment
  18. skipprichard1

    21. Dec, 2013

    Fabulous post, Lolly! I struggle with this, and so it resonated. I’m incredibly uncomfortable receiving, and almost never allow anyone else to pick up the check at a restaurant, etc. Thank you for the reminder and that it blesses other people to accept with gratitude.

    Reply to this comment
  19. Ali Anani (@alianani15)

    21. Dec, 2013

    To give only means to see oneself as superior to others. It is not only what you receive; it is how kindly you accept it.
    To give and not to receive is a one directional attitude. Building on giving shall create a false illusion of superiority.
    I like balancing the two, or a mix of the two. It makes me realize if I give today I might be receiving tomorrow. Why would others accept from me if I don’t accept from them?

    A great post, Lolly.

    Reply to this comment
  20. Ali Anani (@alianani15)

    21. Dec, 2013

    Lolly- sorry for writing again, but an idea popped up while reviewing the great comments above and your heartfelt responses.
    We give comments (Yes, we do) and you accept them. You give back by responding. I am sure every commenter waits for your response and ACCEPTS it. It is a cycle, as you mentioned above. If a commenter doesn’t receive a response (I know it is a remote possibility), what he/she would feel? Not accepting means hurting sometimes.

    Reply to this comment
  21. Ali Anani (@alianani15)

    22. Dec, 2013

    For every action there is a reaction in the opposite direction. Giving and receiving are the action and opposite action. Why try to violate nature?

    Reply to this comment
  22. Takis

    22. Dec, 2013

    Excellent and inspiring post Lolly. You have right, of course! You should be able to encompass both the art of giving and the discipline to receiving (it is not easy you know Lolly for many people, perhaps due to pride, arrogance, extreme social courtesy tendencies!). Both, as you imply teach us something. The gift of giving that you have the ability (able resources, strength,emotions, etc) to make the world a better place (or at least some of its inhabitants, even and in limited numbers) and the gift of receiving (besides the ones you so correctly mention) that for someone you are worthy for that gift and he/she has select you as the owner of that gift.

    Thank you Lolly for sharing, these wonderful concepts and ideas!

    Reply to this comment

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