Archive for 'Personal Development'
The Source of Integrity
Posted on 22. Apr, 2012 by lollydaskal.
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Last week, we blogged about Why Were You Not?
We made the discovery that integrity was the anchor of our heart; the commitment of being who we are deep in your soul.
So many of you have written to me, saying it was a very difficult and deep.
And I agree.
Exploring your anchor is difficult.
Remembering and rediscovering of who you are is not easy.
But to do so, we must go to the source.
The source of integrity.
Integrity- English
Having integrity is being honest and having strong moral conviction.
A person with integrity is honest, with strong moral principles and uprightness.
Integrity - Latin
Integrity comes from the Latin “integer,” whole.
Integrity means our word is full, whole and complete.
A person with integrity is one who is whole and complete. A person with integrity lives their word completely, one hundred percent of the time.
A person with integrity lives all the way, never part way, never a fraction, but all the time, every single time.
Integrity - French
Integrity indicates something intact, integrated, integral. The whole is working well, undivided, integrated, intact, and uncorrupted.
A person with integrity is a whole person, an integrated person, with all parts working well and delivering the functions that they were designed to deliver.
Integrity - Hebrew
In Hebrew the closest word to integrity is translated as “virtue.” If you trace its origins and meanings, one of the meanings is “a force.”
A person of virtue is a force to be reckon with and they always leave a result.
As you can see:
Integrity is not a goal to be achieve as much as it is a life to be pursued.
Integrity is allowing our life to unfold because of who we are.
If you are looking for your true self, your authentic leadership, your genuine life.
Then you will have to let your actions be an expression of who you are on the inside.
Integrity is an inside job.
You will know you are living with integrity when you live your convictions.
You will know you are living with integrity when you are a force to be reckoned with.
Our lives are expressed through our instincts, instructions, intuition, inspiration, our influence and our impact.
- What are your intentions?
- What do you pay attention to?
- How do you represent yourself?
When we have integrity, we will allow who we are to guide our decisions and give us hope during our suffering.
Live the source.
Be the Force
Lead From Within: Be the person who has virtue, who is a force, a force that is unstoppable. Stand firm and make your grip strong. Be a force against the pain, the suffering, the stress, and the roadblocks that life sends your way.
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Why Were You Not
Posted on 09. Apr, 2012 by lollydaskal.
There is a tale of a chassidic rabbi named rabbi Zusya. Zusya was a timid man, a man who concealed more than he revealed. One day Zusya stood before his congregation and he said, When I die and have to present myself before the celestial tribunal, they will not ask me, ‘Zusya why were you not Moses?’ because I would say ‘Moses was prophet and I am not.’
They would not say ‘Zusya, why were you not Jeremiah?’ for I would say ‘Jeremiah was a writer, and I am not.’
And they will not say ‘Why were you not Rabbi Akiba?’ for I would tell them, ‘Rabbi Akiba was a great teacher and scholar and I am not.’
But then they will say ‘Zusya why were you not Zusya?’ and to this I will have no answer.
All of us strive to be great leaders, the best parents, exceptional partners.
But how do we know what is the right thing to do, and how do we live a life without having regrets about 'Why were you not'?
It begins with living with integrity.
To have integrity will define our lives.
To have integrity we will do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.
To have integrity is to be true to the life we have been called to live.
Having integrity is having character, consistency, commitment and congruency with your truest self.
If you know who you are you will know what to do and if you know what to do .... you will not have to be asked why were YOU not.
- your integrity is when your beliefs and thoughts and actions come together.
- your integrity is finding out the uniqueness of you and living it
- your integrity is discovering your giftedness and sharing it
- your integrity is detecting your strength and showing it.
LIVE IT. SHARE IT. SHOW IT.
To discover your integrity ask yourself the following questions:- What does integrity mean?
- What are the characteristics of someone who lives a life of integrity?
- What do you have to change to be more authentic about yourself?
- Are your decisions congruent with who you are from within?
- What are your blind spots that keep you from being real?
- What do you value?
- Do you know what is right in your heart?
Lead From Within: Integrity is the anchor of your heart; it is your commitment to being who you are deep in your soul.
Stay tuned next week as we discuss the defining source of integrity.
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Don’t Throw The Bear In The Road
Posted on 17. Mar, 2012 by lollydaskal.
The other day, as I was expressing some frustration about a situation, my good friend Jacqueline Voncken a brilliant consultant, said something in Dutch that caught my ear.
“beren op de weg gooien”
I asked her what that meant and she said “Don’t throw the bear in the road.”
Her words stopped me in my tracks.
Throwing the bear in the road is:
- selling yourself short
- denying your appreciation
- belittling yourself before you even have a chance to show up
- discrediting your gift
- asking “Will I ever be good enough?”
- being self-critical
- being ashamed.
- second guessing
- and wondering what other people think.
Or someone compliments you on an accomplishment and you brush it off, focusing instead on what you should have done better.
Throwing the bear in the road is continuing in a cycle of self defeating attitude, guaranteeing dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Throwing the bear in the road is denying our worth, wisdom, and knowledge.
Identify Your Attitude:
If you are throwing the bear in the road, you have a self defeating attitude. When you continue this attitude you may become depressed, discontented, and disoriented.
Your attitude and behavior might have worked in the past, to help you protect yourself or cope with a hurtful experience, but it will not serve you well long term. Instead a self defeating attitude will work against you, robbing you of enjoyment of your life.
Question Your Attitude:
Step back and take the time to ask the right questions so you can gain insight to move forward.
- Is this really how I feel?
- Does this attitude serve me? Empower me?
Follow these steps:
Admit : If you have identified a pattern of self-defeating behavior or thoughts, acknowledge and admit it.
Examine: Examine how you live, speak, and ask, to recognize patterns of behavior and thoughts.
Receive: In order to stop throwing the bear in the road, you need to forgive yourself and free yourself of guilt and shame about failures,mistakes, and mishaps. Allow yourself to receive forgiveness.
Give: In as much as you have forgiven yourself, you need to forgive others. Perhaps you have been hurt, mistreated, or betrayed. To be free of the pain and anger you carry, you must forgive.
Feedback: See yourself through others’ eyes. If you are going to stop throwing the bear in the road. you must begin to see yourself rationally and realistically, through the eyes of those around you.
This new truth will help you begin to replace the BEAR that you throw in the road, creating a new image and a less distorted picture of yourself.
Release: Stop holding onto the past. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and release the hurt.
Return: Return to your true self. Yes, this is hard work, but you must return to the present to your life and purpose.
Lead From Within: Knowing your stories, projections, issues, insecurities is an important step in managing yourself and your mindset. It takes courage to face things exactly as they are, without self sabotage and self depreciation. Be willing to see who you really are and start living the life you want to lead.
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Trust Your Inner Wisdom
Posted on 10. Mar, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Sometimes, I ask leaders what has made them successful?
Many do not mention intuition at all, even though they might claim the importance of their inner wisdom as they make decisions.
What is inner wisdom?
Inner wisdom is a tool for quick and ready insight
It’s a gut feeling, a sixth sense, an inner knowing, an instinct.
It’s a hunch, a stillness, a quiet inner voice.
Inner wisdom is not a magic switch you can turn on when you need counsel.
Yet your intuitive mind tells your logical mind where to look next.
Too many THOUGHTS...
We each have 60,000 thoughts a day. We may feel it is impossible to follow or control our thinking.
We can hear our thoughts. We can acknowledge them.
Many times we don’t act upon them. Instead we set them aside.
Without knowing it, we are making decisions all the time, moment by moment .
We want to get it right.
We may have trouble tuning in and trusting ourselves.
When should you tune in?
· when there is insufficient data
· when you need to make a decision quickly
· when there is too much information
· when the data is inconsistent
· when your individual or group vision has become confusing.
· when you’re stuck
You can use your intuition to come up with the right answers while you use your logic and skills to improve what you already know.
What is your intuitive self?
We are all born with intuition. Some of us can tap into it more easily than others but the more you practice using it, the better you will be.
Using your gut is like working your muscles when you exercise. As you use it, you’ll get stronger.
Each of us has experienced it. We need to learn how to listen to ourselves and act on our intuition.
Our intuition tells us the truth of who we are and what we can do.
Our intuition can help us find direction and purpose.
Exercising Your Intuition:
STATE - State your problem, circumstance, or situation. Frame the problem in a form of a question.
PAUSE – Take a break from thinking about your problem or concern. Enjoy down time enjoying yourself. Just allow yourself to be.
OBSERVE - Watch yourself and observe your thought and action patterns. Do not judge or make assumptions.
SURRENDER – Remember, you cannot force your mind to find new insights. They will come when you least expect it. Let go of the what ifs and the what should. Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind.
KNOW- If you need more information about your problem, circumstance, or situation, get it.
ASK - Ask open ended questions. What can I do about this? What else do I need to know? These types of questions will spur intuitive insights.
LISTEN - Listen for the answers. Be willing to be surprised by what you discover.
WRITE- in order to get CLEAR and take out a pen and paper and write down your thoughts and solutions. Which one FEELS best to you? Pay attention to the first option that comes to mind, since research shows that our first impression are often the best, since they are not contaminated by fear, anxiety, and wishful thinking.
TRUST - Trust what you discover. Take a bold step forward. Keep checking in and asking questions.
TRUST AGAIN - Trust the process with certainty to give you clarity in a circumstance. If you have to make a quick decision, go with your first impulse. Go with your gut. Go with your inner wisdom.
Trusting your gut is not magical or mystical. Instead, it is recognizing the language and sensation of what you know and what you are consistently acting on.
Lead From Within: Trusting your intuition will help you have respect for your inner voice, let go of resistance to change, conquer fear and doubt and find the inner strength to move from procrastination, confusion, and stagnation to a world of clarity, action, and confidence while expressing who you truly are.
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Me And My Shadow
Posted on 19. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Everyone casts a shadow; we all have one.
Where we go... it goes. Where we stand, it stands… There is no escaping it.
Our shadow is filled with characters we have no wish to be, and certainly no wish to present to others; our fears, our insecurities, and our anxieties.
It’s the negative side of our personality and it’s the part of ourselves that we are often are not in touch with, or have possibly disowned.
Carl Jung says, when emotions and feelings are not made conscious, they usually manifest outside of us.
He says that our judgment, anger and pain will present itself and we will see it everywhere, and in everyone. It will attract the very people that we may often dislike and detest. Usually these people and situations are telling us more about ourselves than they are about the other person. They have come to teach us lessons...
How do we recognize our SHADOW in relationships and business?
- When our acts are unintentional and unintended. (“Oops, I didn’t mean to say that!”)
- When our interactions continuously have the same troubling effect on several people. (“Both David and Libby feel you have not been honest with us.”)
- When our negative feedback from others serves as a mirror. (“This is the fourth time you have not shown up to the meetings or even called to say you will be late.”)
- When our feelings are amplified about others. (“I just can’t believe that she would say that. I cannot believe he had the nerve to show up that way.”)
- When we are humiliated by circumstances. (“I am so ashamed about how he spoke to me.”)
- When we are extremely irritated and irrational about another person’s faults (“She really let her weight get out of control.” or “He just can’t seem to get his act together.”)
As leaders who lead in every part of our business and life, our objective should be to have an ongoing relationship with our shadow so we can:
- Gain a deeper understanding of who we are by achieving self-acceptance and expansion of self.
- Defuse negative emotions that derail us from our daily lives, to balance the light and dark.
- Secure freedom from guilt and shame that plague our negative emotions.
- Obtain clarity on how our projections color our opinions about others.
- Address our conscious and our unconscious.
- Heal our relationships by having honest and sincere self-examination and courageous conversations.
THE GIFT…
- Of being in the right place and always doing it the right way.
- Of embracing some of our disowned parts.
- Of recalling our potentially positive qualities.
- Of rediscovering who we are in our complete self.
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The Truth About Leadership
Posted on 13. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Each of us is born to lead, but not all of us are born feeling like leaders. Most of us don’t realize we have a chance to lead.
Sadly, what happens is that we impose barriers, we erect wall, and we pad ourselves into boxes and closed off rooms. We find ourselves feeling suffocated by our own self-defeating thoughts and misguided deeds.
Many times, in my work with organizations, I hear people say they are not leaders and they cannot make an impact and I feel that with a little wisdom, a little encouragement, and a lot of empowerment they can come to realize that everyone can be a leader.
I believe in any organization, business, or relationship, leadership is not so much about position as much as it is about each person’s disposition.
As you will read the truth about leadership, you will come to understand that you do not need a title to lead.
Everyone can lead from where they are; everyone can drive change and inspire others. This is not a traditional view of leadership, where leadership is allocated for the few. It is NOT based upon power. This leadership belongs to all of US...
So, how do we discover our heart -based leadership?
How can we lead without a title?
By honoring your soul: - Your soul is made up of all that is good; it if full of all that it wants to express. Sometimes you may feel your calling but feel too scared to accept it, own it, be it. Your soul is calling; do not ignore it. Have the courage to dream, for what you dream becomes your life. Recognizing your soul is one of the most important decisions you will ever make to owning your leadership.
By listening to your heart : By moving beyond the mind and proceeding past your ego, you learn to listen to your heart. The heart is the sum of everything: all your feelings, emotions, reactions, and responses. Your heart wants to guide and assist you. As you continue to draw upon your heart for direction, you will eventually find that what you seek and what you seek you will want to share with others.
By owning your past: By putting value on your past and all the lessons you have learned and to act as witness to the roads, detours, and highways you have traveled, you will come to understand that where you stand, no one has ever stood before. You will bring your history into each moment and shade it with perspective and meaning. By learning from your life lessons, you begin to make them into learning and leadership moments.
By being enough: You need to stop looking over your shoulder. You have to stop comparing yourself to others. You have to remember, you are the gift, the present to this world. You do not have to worry about what others are doing. Because your responsibility, your mission, is to be your best self. By feeling you are not enough, you are sending out the message that you do not deserve. Knowing you are enough, you can spend more time on cultivating your full potential. Leadership is the expression of courage that compels people to live in their giftedness.
By being a bit braver: To be a bit braver you are going to have to trust yourself. It will not take much; it will take just a bit of effort. You don’t have to risk it all at once, you just have to begin by taking one step closer to our leadership. Be a bit braver — a bit bolder —and do not shrink from yourself. Be the leader you want to see in the world.
By honoring values: One of the requirements of leadership is that you know what you value and what your core convictions are. Because your values will set your direction, they will be your compass for your decisions and choices. Be a leader who honors your values and core convictions and let your leadership speak for itself.
By making a difference: Don’t just sit by and wait for the world to call you a leader; take this opportunity to claim your calling and be the person who can inspire and change the world.
Seek the principles of lead from within and heart based leadership because they are universal. This leadership will feed your soul and engage your heart.
This leadership is an ever-evolving journey. There are roads to travel and paths to take and many things will feel unpredictable and unreasonable.
The truth about Leadership is.... you are a leader and you don’t need a title to demonstrate leadership on all levels and across all boundaries.
Lead from within: the purpose of our life is to discover our leadership, the work of our life is developing leadership and the meaning of life is to teaching our leadership to others. If you accept all of your life your leadership will not have been wasted.
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We Need A Courageous Conversation
Posted on 04. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.
What do you do when you have an employee who is great at getting results, meeting their targets, and great with customers, but when it comes to their team, they are abrasive, abusive and condescending?
What do you do when you’re in a relationship and your partner says they will call, and they don't? They say they will show up, but they don't. They say they will be there for you, and they are not. Worse yet, this has been going on for months…
What do you do when you’re in a meeting with your direct report who does all the talking all the time, and never asks for input or feedback? What if your employee is not a team player and it’s really hurting morale?
It is time for an intervention. What kind of intervention? It’s time to have a courageous conversation.
In most organizations, and in our relationships, we’re all so busy being polite with everyone that we’re either not aware of the breakdown, afraid of the breakdown, or avoiding it altogether. We kid ourselves into thinking that if we don’t deal with it, maybe it will go away.
When we fail to engage and say what we honestly think and feel, our business performance will suffer. When what “goes unsaid” is not being said, our relationships will fail.
Here’s how to approach those courageous conversations that need to take place…
Be Courageous: The essence of a courageous conversation is being direct and not fearful. Having a conversation in your head isn’t the same as having a real conversation. Being courageous means being connected to your feelings. Feelings of fear and anxiety create distance. When we are courageous we are fearless. When we act with courage, there is a certain grace that is brought to the conversation.
Be Present: In order to have a courageous conversation, we need to be completely in the moment. Often, in meetings and in relationships where we interact with others, we fail to be fully present. We go through the motions, but we’re not really there, or we’re mentally checked out. In order to have a successful courageous conversation, we need to stay present and engaged. When we are present, we can be more aware of our feelings and the feelings of others.
Be Reflective: In order for us to have a productive courageous conversation, we need to pause and reflect. Sometimes we react without thinking about how our response might impact the person(s) with whom we are interacting. Without pausing, without being reflective, we might choose an inappropriate response. We may say something we will regret.
Be Human: When participating in a courageous conversation, we need to be human. Most of us have a limited vocabulary when expressing our feelings, so we are more likely to offer an automatic or habitual response than to connect heart to heart. When we are human, we have a need to connect, to understand, to listen and to belong. When we are being human, we can bring meaning and energy to the heart of what is important.
Be Attentive: When involved in a courageous conversation, you must be a great listener. Pay close attention and demonstrate sincere interest in the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Be the person who is truly listening by tapping into hidden dialogue, and uncovering what is not being said. When you make more meaningful contact, you are more likely to get the other person’s full attention.
Be Honest: When engaging courageous conversation, we need to be honest and say what we truly feel, without putting off what’s really on our mind. Honesty is not easy. We often repress our true feelings, so much so that sometimes we don't really know what we honestly want. We must be able to be honest and to say what we are truly feeling, seeing, and wanting. To be honest with yourself and others is to honor self. Being honest will set you free.
Be Curious: When involved in a courageous conversation, leave control at the door. Stay open and curious. The more you try to control, the more out of control you will feel. Try to understand what the other is saying. This does not mean you accept what they say as your truth: it simply means you are open to the possibilities. It is essential to remain open and curious, and not judgmental and controlling.
Be Accountable: When having a courageous conversation, being accountable means that you take responsibility for what you say and how you say it. Do not blame, claim or abuse anyone else. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be the one who recognizes that being accountable will help shift the conversation from blame to gaining understanding.
Be Committed: By bringing commitment to your interactions, you learn the power of courageous conversation. Your commitment to be courageous fosters connection. Being committed to courageous conversation will make your communications clear and compelling. It will bring knowing to the unknown.
Lead From Within: When we are aware, we listen to each other, even if there are differences. If we stay focused, if we remain our caring human self, and if we pay attention to others’ feelings and ideas, we foster greater understanding.
If we are honest about our feelings, if we remain curious, and if we are committed to forging courageous conversations, we will help strengthen relationships, productivity, and communication.
Where can you have a courageous conversation today? Which meeting? What boss? Which employee? What relationship?
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The Language of Thought
Posted on 29. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
“Our lives are like a chess game. The move of a single pawn affects the outcome of the game.” - David R Hawkins.
Connecting, communicating and conversing are all effects of a thought. It affects our leadership, our relationship and our fellowship.If you think about it, our thoughts are the beginning of what matters most. Our thoughts bring value to what we think, say and do.
Understanding our thoughts is the door-opener to the rewards of self-awareness and insight, and it's the ground upon which understanding rests.
The language of thought has an internal influence on us. And that internal influence can make a difference to our external outcomes.
Reflect===> Retrieve===>Relate===> Responsible===> Results===>Reward!
Reflect: By taking a moment to reflect upon our thoughts, we can stand at the gateway of making different choices. As we pause, we can practice looking at our thoughts instead of from them. Reflection is an action. Reflecting on our thoughts brings us invaluable learning and opportunity for growth.
Retrieve: To understand what someone says, we must draw upon our shared knowledge of the world, not just our knowledge of language. All of us have stored thoughts. Our past observations become our future projections. Our expectations, beliefs and past experiences affect our thinking and communication.
Relate: Until we can relate to our thoughts, we are not going to be successful in communicating with ourselves or with others. Everyone’s thoughts and behaviors are a function of their viewpoint.
Responsible: We can increase our self-awareness and improve communication as we accept responsibility for every thought, word, and deed that we think. What we think we act upon. Be responsible. In being responsible, we break down the old patterns of thinking and build new pathways of being.
Results: As we live our lives with intention, we can achieve the results for a new way of being and leading. We achieve results by focusing on our thoughts. Our results depend on how quickly we observe and determine whether the thought serves our purpose or not. We can create an intention about what we want, and get the results we are looking for.
Reward: When we are clear about what we want, our reality will follow… Then we will be rewarded.
Defining the language of thought cultivates new meaning. Without the self-awareness of thought, we would live each day as we did yesterday, and we would simply recreate the same solutions as we did the day before.
By understanding the language of our thoughts, we enhance ourselves, our families, our team, our organization, and our leadership. As we begin to understand the language of thoughts, we can see that we are consciously choosing our future.
What we think. What we say. What we do. Matters.
When we know what matters - and our mind is clear - we make the most of each moment. We can think outside the box. We can lead from within. We can develop creative solutions. We can trust our intuition. We can know the next step we are going to take. We can make good decisions, and we can act on them effortlessly.
Be the person who cares. Who thinks. Who listens. Who understands. Who communicates. Who converses and who connects deeply.
Lead From Within: Reap the benefits by understanding that the language of thought is the driver that helps you reshape your life and leadership. With this clarity, you can transform, transcend and thrive.
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The DNA Of Dialogue
Posted on 22. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Communication is a basic activity in our lives. Every word we speak is a form of dialogue.
As leaders we aim for great communication which leads to deeper connections, but most of us get in trouble when we don’t listen to one another.
Too often we speak at each other or past each other or tune each other out.
The problem may lay in the fact that we don't know what it takes to have a meaningful dialogue.
The chit chat, the noise, the transference that is going on around us is all so distracting.
Are we really listening to each other?
Are we paying as close attention as we should?
Do we understand the heart of listening?
Are we engaging in meaningful exchanges?
What we seem to be missing is the nucleus; the DNA of dialogue. We need to find its meaning.
We need to understand that applying emotional intelligence to our conversations is a sure way for leaders and organizations to accomplish what "talking" cannot achieve, and what conversations are not accomplishing.
DNA of dialogue is about feelings.
Feelings are at the heart of every good conversation and relationship. Feelings like passion and pride, silence and silliness, let us know that we are alive.
Failure to acknowledge our feelings derails us from having meaningful dialogue.
If we do not express our feelings, we run the risk of our feelings leading the conversation. Unexpressed feelings make it difficult for us to listen to others. When we feel our feelings we learn to understand others and gain insight into ourselves.
DNA of dialogue is about listening.
Listening is about paying attention with intention.
It means not just listening to the words, but listening to the unspoken words, to the space where silence resides.
Meaningful dialogue involves listening with empathy and searching for common ground.
It’s about learning to listen from inside out. Listening can transform any conversation once we learn that there is more than meets the ear.
DNA of dialogue is about respecting.
Respect makes space for us to hear what others are feeling and thinking.
When you respect others they respond. They respond by letting their thoughts and voice to be heard. "I learn from you as I allow you to speak". Respect permits my mind to be open and my heart to hear.
Meaningful dialogue requires that all the participants have equal standing, and that they listen with respect and empathy.
DNA of dialogue is about suspending.
Suspending is exploring new ideas and perspectives, and bringing unexamined assumptions into the open without judgment.
Suspending makes room for where something is and where something is becoming.
It’s not about being right or wrong, or better or worse. Meaningful dialogue happens when we suspend our opinions, step back, change direction and see with new eyes.
DNA of dialogue is about voicing.
Voicing is about asking open ended questions, instead of wanting to persuade and get our way.
Perhaps we should permit another to speak, to question, and to reason. Maybe we could voice our compassion and concerns. Meaningful dialogue is aimed at fostering mutual insight and common purpose.
By voicing care, we may hear from another and we may learn something significant that changes the way we process problems.
The fact is that people who learn the DNA of Dialogue have a new approach for dealing with the most challenging conversations. It provides both a deeper and heightened sense of freedom and flexibility in difficult communication.
The profound power of meaningful dialogue achieved is by harnessing the best of the collective thinking.
It becomes a whole, instead of the voice of one. It becomes the voice of many that are working on the problem, situation or circumstance.
LEAD FROM WITHIN: No matter where you stand in life, learning and leveraging the DNA of Dialogue will help with all human relationships and leadership.
This post has been inspired by @mjasmus, a thought leader on Twitter. A few weeks ago she wrote an amazing post Dialog as a Radical Act If you have not been to her blog, please visit and visit often. I know I do.
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The Uncertain Leader
Posted on 18. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
We all talk about leadership success, inspiration and motivation, but there is more to leadership and life. There are truths that we must address, and there are realities that we cannot escape.
Truth: Leaders face uncertainties.
Truth: Leaders may come upon circumstances or experiences that they cannot fix (despite how hard they try).
Truth: Leaders to some degree face fear.
Fear of uncertainty is always with us. It lies there waiting to challenge us and is waiting to call upon us - and sometimes it is the greatest saboteur of our inner leadership.
We cannot deny it.
When it comes to uncertainty, we need to comprehend that it is a personal matter. It is not THE uncertainty of life that gives us anxiety, but OUR fears within ourselves that cause the pain.
It is best to face uncertainty by including it in our thoughts and actions rather than suppressing it. Recognition of uncertainty is valuable because it helps us to guard against the things that might go wrong.
The reality of the uncertain leader may be that uncertainty may cause you complication in your life. However, identifying the source of your uncertainty is a critical part of becoming certain.
Uncertainty may cause you fear. But the fear of the unknown expands your knowing.
Uncertainty may cause you confusion. But the purpose of uncertainty is to define and focus on your clarity and convictions.
My personal note to the uncertain leader…
Let your uncertainties guide you to help you understand and prepare you for your challenges.
Do not use uncertainty as an excuse to abandon your plans.
Every important risk, every important uncertainty, involves fear. Don’t run from your fear and uncertainties.
Don’t pretend to be fearless. Don’t pretend to be certain.
If you hold on to your uncertainties rather than expressing them authentically, you will begin to distort self. Simply recognize uncertainties and learn to adapt and adjust to them.
Uncertainty is always trying to make a case for itself in our lives, because it wants us to make a stand for what we believe in. Be the architect for others to model.
Know that fear and uncertainty drag us to the bottom of where we begin to understand the essence of our leadership.
Fear teaches us who we are and it shows us that we are about to step out of our comfort zone.
Every uncertainty is an encounter with something within ourselves that we do not understand or did not take responsibility for. Do not let it lament any part of your life and leadership, because every hardship can teach us valuable lessons.
Every uncertainty is the distance between truth and leadership and the event of greatness.
Lead from within: Uncertainty is about handling our fears. Above all, it’s about helping us to live comfortably with our uncertainties so we can do better, be better and act better.
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