The Only Decision-Making Tool You Will Ever Need

There are many theories, tools, and techniques on how to make better decisions.

What would happen if we abandoned all the programs, steps, and processes, and simply allowed a tool that we already possess to lead us toward what we want?

Here’s the only tool you really need: The willingness to follow your heart and the consent to grasp its candor.

Following your heart is about observing, watching, knowing, seeing, feeling, and trusting and it requires only discipline in a few areas:

Trust. Trust your judgment. What you need to decide is already within your scope of intelligence and instinct.

No one knows as much as you know about what needs to be done.

Fear. We all have fears, but allowing fear-based decisions fuels them further. It allows doubt to rule.

When we make decisions out of our fear we are allowing our doubt to rule…

Control. Our best decisions are made when we are willing to let go of the illusion of control. It is not that illusion, but the reality of surrender and acceptance that lead us to the truth on which good decisions are made.

Thought. In short, don’t believe everything you think. The head wants us to avoid failure, mistakes, and pitfalls. Its analytical approach will keep us from having the will and courage to make the decisions that lead us to what we really want.

Insight. Confusion sometimes results when we don’t want to agree with the truth. Maybe our truth makes us uncomfortable, and it takes us to our discomfort zone. But confusion disappears in the face of the heart’s truth.

The heart is always helping us to decide, and our confusion is often the smoke screen obscuring our truth.

Following the heart is an individualized experience. But we each have an inner compass providing answers to our questions and challenges in our decision making.

Decision making from the heart takes courage in trusting and boldness in accepting its challenge.

Following your heart may make you uncomfortable and the discipline may make you feel fearful. But its wisdom will lead you to innovation, creativity, originality, artistry, and resourcefulness and it requires us to surrender and lead from the unfamiliar.

Lead From Within: Following your heart when it comes to decisions will result in getting you where you ought to be, doing what you ought to be doing, and being who you are meant to be.

 


 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R
The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Additional Reading you might enjoy:

 

Photo Credit: Getty Image


Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

28 Responses to “The Only Decision-Making Tool You Will Ever Need”

  1. Alli Polin

    12. Nov, 2013

    Each point hit home as the truth. I can remember when I left my last corporate position and was in the midst of interviewing for senior level positions. Like an alarm in my head through round after round of interviews I knew the position was not right for me but I kept going…. until the final round. I finally was willing to listen to my heart and called the hiring manager to tell him I was withdrawing from further consideration. Immediately, a weight lifted from my heart.

    We DO know what do to the real challenge is to listen, be brave and do it.

    Thanks, Lolly!

    Reply to this comment
  2. Martina

    12. Nov, 2013

    Good post as always Lolly.

    The first step in following our heart is knowing it. We all get drawn into things that do not resonate with us and we feel uncomfortable or disconnected from ourselves, from our hearts.

    The answer is often to slow things down and examine what we are feeling deep inside. Letting go of the should-haves that belong to other people can be a scary thing, but it will lift a great burden from our hearts.

    When we can learn to listen to and heed that deep resonance of when things are right with our hearts, we can begin to heal and become whole and real and content.

    Reply to this comment
  3. Lalita Raman

    12. Nov, 2013

    Beautiful post Lolly. You hit the point home well. Our intuition always guides only if chose to listen to it always. I know some of my tough decisions have been possible because I went with my institution or my inner voice or heart.

    Thank you for a lovely reminder Lolly

    Lalita

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      13. Nov, 2013

      Lalita,

      So great to see your smiling face here!

      Going with the heart, trusting the voice is where the wonder happens, where the miracles reside.

      Thanks so much for sharing. I truly appreciate you.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  4. Terri Klass

    12. Nov, 2013

    We need to believe that what we are feeling is truly the best direction for our decisions. And that is all about TRUST. If we could just trust our inner compass to guide us, we would make wiser and more satisfying choices.

    And we also need to put fear on a back burner. I know that when I have to deal with a change, the FEAR factor sometimes sabotaging me. Just saying out loud that I can overcome my concerns, helps to propel me forward to make a decision.

    Thanks Lolly for a great post!

    Reply to this comment
  5. Bill Benoist

    12. Nov, 2013

    Hi Lolly,

    This post reminded me of some personnel layoffs I faced years ago. It was a very difficult decision and my head was telling me one thing and my heart was saying another. It was truly an example where doing the right thing was not the same thing as doing what was right.

    Your post is a wonderful reminder to us all that we need to be aware of our inner compass

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      I am happy Bill you listened to your heart. It has made you who you are today and for that I am grateful.

      Thanks Bill for sharing!

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  6. LaRae Quy

    12. Nov, 2013

    One of the best examples I can remember of following my heart was the decision to get married! My head simply did not want to…and when I “thought” it through I came up with all sorts of reasons not to get married: my career, I wanted to wait until I was in my mid-30’s, not the man of my dreams, etc.

    But once I got into silence and drilled down to the core of my heart, I found peace. I was not madly in love with him the way it’s portrayed in movies and books. I had LOTS of doubts, my I followed that still, small voice of my heart and we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary!

    Thank you for another important post, Lolly. Have a great week!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      The choices we make the decisions we decide… all have consequences.

      You followed your heart and you are still reaping its rewards…

      Happy Anniversary!

      Thanks LaRae for sharing

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  7. Wes "Double You" Parrish

    12. Nov, 2013

    So love that you wrote that the wisdom of your heart will lead you to innovation, creativity, originality, artistry, and resourcefulness.

    So true. All things that will place you above the noise of your niche and make you feel great for unleashing your passion on the world. That’s leadership!

    I have to do my best everyday to trust my heart, my gut. A tweet, a post, a picture shared with the world. If I go inward, I know exactly what my audience needs and how to best serve my clients. It’s almost automatic.

    By knowing your heart, may it lead to bold “lighting fast” decision making. Choices that command both delight and success.

    Wes

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      13. Nov, 2013

      Wes,
      This is a beautiful thought… worth repeating

      By knowing your heart, may it lead to bold “lighting fast” decision making. Choices that command both delight and success.

      Truth has been spoken.
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  8. Simon Harvey

    12. Nov, 2013

    Now we’re talking. Great post and some great responses. More power to LaRae for that chunk of courage, WOW! And congratulations.

    Yes the beautiful heart has to be one of the best built machines. It runs so smoothly that you have to really become an expert to be able to tell when it is not quite running on all cylinders.

    It is too easy to convince ourselves that all is running smoothly as it just keeps ticking. When in reality all is not always as it should be. When we spend the time to really get to know our heart (our inner self), then we as a master mechanic can start to tell that all is not quite right. We can feel it, hear it, sense it. Whether faith based, spiritually or otherwise, there is a path for all to find.

    But to do this we must be willing to let go, to risk that we may loose what we thought was important at that moment. Even feel that we may loose control.

    We must be confident in our natural ability to float in the water, to let go of the edge. Yes, It can be scary, it can put doubt into even the strongest mind. But what can be discovered in that moment of realization is simply awe inspiring.

    Does it solve everything, make hurt and suffering go away, will you always lead in the right direction, make the right decision, I don’t know. But I think that is the point. You will never know until you let go.

    To lead with the heart requires you (as you say), let go. As you let go you actually open a door to the universe within. A place that many of us barely know. This place allows innovation to float, and passion to give it wings. What is within is raw untapped energy and passion, and like riding a wild horse it can be exhilarating and scary. No reins to steer or stop with, just pure unbridled power.

    Riding that horse takes practice, courage, and ultimately complete trust. Get that far and then your ride will grow wings.

    I think that Mihaly Csikszentmihaly touched on this in his description of Flow. And I believe we can all experience that wonderful moment when if we can let go with total trust. When you get there, I believe that and decision is made before you know you had to make a decision. You become one with the universe within.

    In this past year I have been there a few times, as I have lost all the family I grew up with, I found that horse and rode it, hands in the air and with total abandon at first, but then slowly, with trust I let go, and I flew.

    We all lead everyday. We lead our lives, we make decisions every moment of the day and perhaps because of society, we sometimes struggle to feel OK about opening that door. Great leaders that have been, I believe, opened that door and led from within (whether they knew it as that or not), they led from the heart, and this is why they are still remembered today.

    It is our legacy to those that follow us. To be the best you, you can be. Trust, sit gently, let go and leadfromwithin.

    Looking forward to the chat tonight. Thanks for the inspiring post.

    Your Friend,
    Simon

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      Simon
      As always your words move me:

      We all lead everyday. We lead our lives, we make decisions every moment of the day and perhaps because of society, we sometimes struggle to feel OK about opening that door. Great leaders that have been, I believe, opened that door and led from within (whether they knew it as that or not), they led from the heart, and this is why they are still remembered today.

      And your wisdom continues with….

      It is too easy to convince ourselves that all is running smoothly as it just keeps ticking. When in reality all is not always as it should be. When we spend the time to really get to know our heart (our inner self), then we as a master mechanic can start to tell that all is not quite right. We can feel it, hear it, sense it. Whether faith based, spiritually or otherwise, there is a path for all to find.

      I do love the way you think and the way you express yourself. I always learn something from you.

      Thank you Simon SEE YOU TONIGHT!

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  9. Garren Fagaragan

    12. Nov, 2013

    yes indeed Lolly…

    Our inner guidance system is all here…
    in its fullness…right now.

    I’ve found that…

    Muscle testing…dowsing and other forms
    of kinesiology work like training wheels
    to gain complete confidence in our…

    Inner Guidance System.

    thank you for the post!
    aloha…

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      Garren! So great to see you again. I hope things have settled down and you are healing inside and out.
      Hopefully we will see you on #leadfromwithin this evening.

      Reply to this comment
  10. Karen Jolly

    12. Nov, 2013

    Fantastic article Lolly. Your point about, “confusion sometimes results when we don’t want to agree with the truth” really struck me.

    I believe this is the heart of making great decisions – trusting the truth – and often that comes to us as a feeling. I think that is why we try not to trust it – yet, those feelings, which are coming from the heart and therefore ARE truth…is what we need to make the right decision for us in the moment. So important for all of us to understand this.

    Powerful truth, Lolly – thank you!!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      Karen

      You are right “those feelings” are coming from the heart – they are guiding us, probing us, to move towards our truth.

      But sometimes the truth is not what we want to hear so we claim confusion!

      Confusion is taking a recess from ourselves when we need to be moving towards something that challenges us.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  11. Wayne McEvilly

    12. Nov, 2013

    Lolly:
    I really require to make sure this sinks in – and I’ve got to make sure in sinks in from my own heart –
    I am in a period of reflection and to some extent #withdrawal from the interactions, requiring something, I know not exactly what, but this post definitively speaks directly as an echo to my own best sentiments at this moment.
    Thank you.
    Wayne

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      12. Nov, 2013

      Wayne

      Withdrawal is not a bad thing, it means you are gearing up to merge from within with new wisdom and new wonder.

      Listen carefully, are just allow yourself to be.
      All of it is fine! We are here if you need us.
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  12. Pat Robeck

    12. Nov, 2013

    When I was still in High School, I saw a bumper sticker that said,”Sailors have more fun!” I made a career decision on that so I could have more fun. Well, they didn’t say more fun than what, so it was truthful advertising. It was more fun than a dental appointment. If I hadn’t followed my heart on that though, I would not have met my wife, had my kids, learned the skills I have, and seen the world the way I did, so I guess my heart was right that night. I usually try to do both, follow my heart and have fun!
    Lead on,
    Pat

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      13. Nov, 2013

      Pat
      What an honor to have you stop by and what a great story. Thank you so much for sharing!

      It sounds like following your heart is just what you needed!

      Great message for us to hear FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND HAVE FUN!

      Thank you tender hearted.
      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  13. Panteli Tritchew

    13. Nov, 2013

    Hi Lolly,
    A wonderful and very timely post for me. A major project I’ve been part of for several years is coming to a close and moving from design to implementation soon, and I’m simply not excited about it. Everyone else on the project is.

    I keep telling myself several times a day, “You really ought to be excited, you really ought to be excited, you really ought to be excited.” And I’m not. This self-talk has been going on for several months.

    Now I can tell my head to back off and leave my heart alone… Thanks for this post, Lolly!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      13. Nov, 2013

      Panteli,

      I would say, Don’t only listen to your heart, maybe ask your heart…

      What does you need? And where do we go from here?

      Because the just listening will be good but not as comforting as the heart being heard.

      When it tells you what it needs. Act upon it.

      Let me know how that goes.

      Lolly

      Reply to this comment
  14. Faith Presley

    18. Nov, 2013

    Thank you for a wonderful post. “Leading from Within” is a perfect summary of these points.

    Reply to this comment
  15. Ruth Rooney

    20. Nov, 2013

    Very meaningful words Lolly….”don’t believe everything you think!” How often I have “thought” my way out of my heart’s decision. As I transition to a new decade, thanks for the nudge to let my heart decide to choose better thoughts.

    Reply to this comment
  16. Ian D. Coburn

    12. Mar, 2014

    Lolly: This is very enlightening and just the reminder I need to trust myself and what I’m trying to accomplish in my business? Thank you!

    Reply to this comment
  17. Nilesh pandya

    20. Oct, 2017

    I Reed your all blog

    Reply to this comment

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