Being so independent. It is very difficult for me to ask for help. I am a person who has many dreams, visions and ideas. I have endless amounts of energy and I hardly ever sleep. I have always felt that I could handle and do everything by myself.
Recently I came to a realization that was taking me out of my comfort zone, my vision was getting bigger than I could handle myself.
My big dream was for everyone to understand the essence of Lead From Within -That each person who desired to make their dreams come true and to find their purpose, they would have to allow their heart to lead in their decisions and choices and that their beliefs and values would be the foundation of their thinking.
The biggest part of my dream was that I wanted people to know that they mattered. What they thought, what they felt, how they lived their lives mattered.
And for those who were struggling, I would create a community, a base camp of leaders, not just any leaders, but leaders with heart that would be there in discussion, engagement and support. No one was ever going to feel alone again. < big statement
I kept thinking, how am I going to pull this enormous task off by myself. Yes, I have unlimited perseverance and infinite amounts of passion and enormous amount of caring but was that enough? Could I do this on my own?
After much deliberation and painful processing I had to admit that I no longer could do everything by myself. To me- this admission was a major learning step in my personal development as a independent person and as a heart based leader. I became aware that there was no safety in being the same person today that I was yesterday. I had to make a decision.
I had two choices:
I could give up on my vision and dreams that were bursting from my heart or I was going to have to ask for help.
No matter how successful you are. No matter how important or accomplished you are. Knowing that you need people is a significant insight.
Having this awareness scares us because we have fed into the message that our environment feeds us.
– You cannot trust people.
– You SHOULD be able to solve your own issues.
– You will look like a fool because you are asking for help.
– You might be perceived as weak if cannot handle your own business or life.
This kind of messaging keeps us from asking others for help and keeps us from our dreams and desires.
But if you look at successful people and seek what is a constant ingredient in their success. You notice that successful people ask for guidance and assistance to help them achieve their desired outcome.
We all want to be successful. We all have big dreams and visions. So why not ask for help? Asking for help only assists us in making our dreams come true.
So for all of us who want to make a difference in the world and for all of us who dream of being of service to others in a major way. Tell people you need their help.
This post is dedicated to the Lead From Within community. I call you my family. You have helped me with my vision. You have made my dream come true and you continue to support me every Tuesday at eight pm est with your wisdom, brilliance, heart and courage. For this I am forever grateful.
Lead From Within: . Work on your personal development and give yourself permission to reach out and ask for help. Let people know you need them
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.
14. Apr, 2011
Helping others: It’s the essence of the Lead From Within community. We meet each week and reinforce our thinking to lead with our hearts. But to ask for help? That’s difficult for some. Why? Does it make us vulnerable? And if so, what’s wrong with that? Those who would help do not judge.
You’re right…we start out in life as helpless; we grow up thinking we can do it all. But the reality is that by asking for help, we give others the chance to Lead From Within. And THAT is a wonderful feeling to share.
14. Apr, 2011
Helen you are correct the essence of Lead from Within community is to help each other.
To care, engage, empower, encourage each other and your presence in our community is one of a true heart based leader and for that I am truly grateful.
Your heart and warmth is felt. Your caring and intellect is always present.
YOU are a gift to our community.
I CHERISH you
14. Apr, 2011
Asking for help is quite the hurdle for those of us that have the tendency to be independent.
As human functionality goes, there seems to be a common thread that many independent people suffer from. We can be the best at helping others but not always as good at following our own advice in helping ourselves.
The builder’s home that is in constant refurbishment, the electrician who has lights that need fixing, the carpenter that has a wobbly table, the doctor who is not looking after his own health, the plumber that has a leaking faucet, the policeman that does not abide by the law, the therapist that has marital problems and the leaders that have problems taking their own advice.
We think, because we specialize in this or that we can do all those things for ourselves, and certainly don’t need help!
But we are not experts in everything and perhaps the builder needs the skills of a project manager, the electrician, carpenter and plumber an organizer, the doctor a counselor and so on.
My advice to myself today is look in the mirror of my mind and take my own advice, Leadfromwithin.
Ask myself those hard to answer questions.
What do you want,
Where do you want to go
How are you going to go about it
And once I have those questions out, quickly ask the humdinger… What help do you need to get those things done.
There I said it.. Have to start writing them down now.
Oooo, what a big list I have already -Help 😉
14. Apr, 2011
Simon You are one amazing man. You have listed some amazing questions and I look forward to reading the answers.
Lead From Within
Blessings my friend
15. Apr, 2011
You nailed it. Asking for help is hard for me. I default to being too self-reliant. Maybe it’s my Yankee upbringing… or maybe it is my not wanting to give up control.
I want to help men be Remarkable… I can’t do it alone.
Thank you for reminding me it takes a community.
15. Apr, 2011
With your amazing community I believe you need to lead by example.
You are pretty remarkable….Now all those men need to do is follow your lead.
So glad to see you.
19. Apr, 2011
The realization you share with us is deeply moving when it occurs. It’s the time when we stop listening to the the lizard brain spewing fear. Instead we see with our eyes and feel with our heart. Passion emerges. And what we see and feel is the connectedness we share with those in our life. It’s intangible, making it difficult to accept. But, oh, when we do, it’s moving.
You do so much for our community of leaders with making yourself available. By sharing your wisdom to remind us what is important – each other.
01. May, 2011
But it appears there has been a quantum leap in the incidents of ordinary people having significant glimpses into coming events while it is true that in many cases the data is peace meal in some instances it is like reading tomorrows newspapers. It is not my purpose to scare anyone or preach doom and gloom but rather to encourage and call all to be a watchman for our calling which is Christ Jesus our lord.Do we know that all these voices are from God? Of course not But to ignore the accumulative data that is available is to stick ones head in the perverbial sand.