Let’s be real. Everyone feels unsure, insecure, and self-doubt.
Some may struggle with it more than others, but nobody is exempt. It’s how we respond in the face of that uncertainty that makes the difference–whether we allow it to feed us or frighten us.
Fortunately, it’s not a matter of chance. There are techniques to reconnect with your own confidence when you need to overcome a spell of feeling unsure.
Here are five key things to remember:
1. Your struggles can be part of your breakthroughs. In the pain of the moment, it’s easy to forget that struggle is a sign of progress. And sometimes it takes a complete breakdown to have a major breakthrough. Strength comes from the struggle, not from winning, and today’s difficulty is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. At the end of the day it will be your attitude, not any event, that will help you achieve your goals.
2. You don’t have to be perfect. Inspire people with how you deal with your imperfections. Many of us strive to be perfect, but perfection is an unreachable ideal. And it may actually turn out to be your flaws, and the ways you overcome and accommodate them, that will be the most inspirational part of your story. Remember, we are born to be real, not perfect. As the Leonard Cohen lyric says, there is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.
3. The strongest people are not those who always win, but those who do not give up when they lose. Being confident doesn’t come readily to most people. And it’s in those moments when you need confidence the most that you feel the most insecure. Remember that strongest people don’t always succeed, they don’t always have confidence, but they stay the course even when they don’t feel it or believe they deserve it. It is never giving up, never giving in that will make you a winner.
4. The bad news: nothing is permanent, and the good news: nothing is permanent. Whether it feels like good news or bad news, change is inevitable. It will happen regardless of what you feel. Let that knowledge free you to be more tolerant of yourself, more forgiving of others, and less judgmental all around. This is something we all can learn from.
5. It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not. Ultimately, it is what you think that makes you who you are. Don’t allow insecure thoughts to overshadow the amazing truth of who you are. You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. Do the things that scare you the most, and when you succeed you will be letting yourself know you can do anything.
To be successful, keep taking the small steps toward fulfilling your goals and dreams, every day. The world needs your gifts.
And when you start to doubt yourself, remember how far you have come–everything you’ve faced, all the battles you’ve won, and all the fears you’ve overcome.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
- 12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
- A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
- How to Succeed as A New Leader
- 12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
- 4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
- The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
- The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.