The 4 Powerful Conversations that Will Improve Your Leadership

Everyone I know in leadership has more to do then they have hours in the day. But even with the top leaders I coach, there’s a common mistake they make when they’re pressed for time—most are concentrating on tasks instead of leading. It’s understandable that when you have too much to do, you do what comes easily, but that impulse doesn’t lend itself to great leadership.

People go into leadership because they are visionaries and motivators, and they should be creating leaders among their team members instead of putting out fires and staring at spreadsheets all day.

To implement your vision and direction, you have to do the work of leadership. That means, above all, creating strong relationships with your teams so they can work productively and effectively even in your absence.

Too often, though, leaders get stuck in the weeds, doing daily tasks, being a manager instead of a leader.

So how can you make sure you’re actually leading? By having these four powerful conversations every month:

Conversation #1—Check in on the weather. Spend a few moments with every team member learning their thoughts on the organizational culture and their day-to-day work life. Make sure you know if there is the forecast looks clear or if storms are brewing. A monthly check-in keeps the channels of communication open so there are no surprises or last-minute course corrections at the end of the year.

Conversation #2—Identify greatness and gaps in those you value. We all have strengths, areas in which we excel and talents. But we also have gaps—the habits of mind that get in the way of our greatness (as you may have read about in my new book, The Leadership Gap). To be effective, we need to know and embrace our best talents and inner strengths, and we also need to know the gaps that may keep us stuck and playing small. As a leader, you should constantly be aware of your team members’ strengths and nurture their talent, but also understand their gaps and help them learn to leverage their unproductive thinking into something positive.

Conversation #3—Ask about development and improvement. Most people are eager for opportunities to improve and develop new skills. Too often, though, leaders don’t expend the time or effort to find out ways to help their people grow—not because they don’t want to, but because they’re too busy. But making time for people to learn and grow is as important as anything else you could be doing. Aside from the benefits to your team, it shows that you consider them a worthy investment. Making time for the development of your people is the essence of leadership.

#Conversation #4—Generate a game plan for success. We’ve all heard the quote “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” And the way to show you care is not with words but action. Work with each member of your team to generate a game plan for success. Give them the benefit of your experience in helping them identify and reach their goals, and they in turn will give you the best they have to offer.

Don’t be one of those leaders who feel they don’t have time to hold regular meetings, who say they’re too busy to have these conversations. And don’t try lumping everything in together so you can feel you’ve done your duty. This system works if you maintain one single conversational theme at a time. The idea is to keep the channels of communication open, to keep the dialogue moving, to learn what makes your team more effective and productive.

Lead from within: At the end of the day, when it comes to leadership if you don’t have the time to do right, when will you have the time to do it over?

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

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Photo Credit: Getty Images

Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies. As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world.

Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR,, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness has become a national bestseller.

  1. Dominic

    02. Dec, 2017

    Thanks a lot for your post. Im gonna use it in my company to make an effective team.

    Reply to this comment
  2. Goverdhan

    19. Dec, 2017

    Tips for excellent use to apply for growth and team building. Thanks Lilly daskal for sharing

    Reply to this comment
    • Goverdhan

      19. Dec, 2017

      Communication plays great part in our daily life or organisation growth. Thank lolls for sharing such powerful lines which to be practiced for growth and team work

      Reply to this comment
  3. Jody Urquhart

    02. Jan, 2018

    Powerful blog article and some good reminders. I think the way we communicate is changing quickly because technology permeates the way we consume information.

    Development and improvement seem to be the one that hits me the most. Today, attention spans are low and often context is skewed. We don’t really know if what we are saying is being understood the way we intend. Unless we take the time to coach people and understand them, confusion can be the norm.

    Reply to this comment
    • Ege Sarisenoglu

      26. Feb, 2018

      Yeah Jody I also do think the way we are communicating the medium is changing but the essence will never change. As Lolly also stated in her article raw communication will always be at the forefront of leadership and business and nothing is gonna replace that cause people buy things based on trust and trust is built most effectively on one on one connections. Social media and technology are just fast distribution channels to get to the people quicker but once we get to them it is still gonna be old school. Which is fantastic

      Reply to this comment
  4. Amiable Niyonshuti

    28. Dec, 2018

    Surely,am fully convinced and inspired by her, continue to build world via your thoughts.
    Great Courage.

    Reply to this comment
  5. asianwomanleadership

    06. Jun, 2019

    As the protests that led to the ouster of Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir in April continue to rage, the large numbers of women taking to the streets of Khartoum are giving hope to female leaders across Africa. Women, both young and old, have accounted for up to 70% of the protesters in Sudan despite reportedly being targeted with intimidation, harassment, and even rape. The world should recognize their bravery, and take concrete steps to help more African

    Reply to this comment

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