Lolly Daskal

Trust Your Inner Wisdom

Posted on 10. Mar, 2012 by lollydaskal.

Sometimes, I ask leaders what has made them successful?  
 
Many do not mention intuition at all, even though they might claim the importance of their inner wisdom as they make decisions.  
 
What is inner wisdom?  
 
Inner wisdom is a tool for quick and ready insight  
 
It’s a gut feeling, a sixth sense, an inner knowing, an instinct.  
 
It’s a hunch, a stillness, a quiet inner voice.  
 
Inner wisdom is not a magic switch you can turn on when you need counsel.  
 
Yet your intuitive mind tells your logical mind where to look next.  
 
Too many THOUGHTS...  
 
We each have 60,000 thoughts a day. We may feel it is impossible to follow or control our thinking.  
 
We can hear our thoughts. We can acknowledge them.  
 
Many times we don’t act upon them. Instead we set them aside.  
 
Without knowing it, we are making decisions all the time, moment by moment .  
 
We want to get it right.  
 
We may have trouble tuning in and trusting ourselves.  
 
When should you tune in?  
 
· when there is insufficient data  
 
· when you need to make a decision quickly  
 
· when there is too much information  
 
· when the data is inconsistent  
 
· when your individual or group vision has become confusing.  
 
· when you’re stuck  
 
You can use your intuition to come up with the right answers while you use your logic and skills to improve what you already know.  
 
What is your intuitive self?  
 
We are all born with intuition. Some of us can tap into it more easily than others but the more you practice using it, the better you will be.  
 
Using your gut is like working your muscles when you exercise. As you use it, you’ll get stronger.  
 
Each of us has experienced it. We need to learn how to listen to ourselves and act on our intuition.  
 
Our intuition tells us the truth of who we are and what we can do.  
 
Our intuition can help us find direction and purpose.  
 
Exercising Your Intuition:  
 
STATE - State your problem, circumstance, or situation. Frame the problem in a form of a question.  
 
PAUSE – Take a break from thinking about your problem or concern. Enjoy down time enjoying yourself. Just allow yourself to be.  
 
OBSERVE - Watch yourself and observe your thought and action patterns. Do not judge or make assumptions.  
 
SURRENDER – Remember, you cannot force your mind to find new insights. They will come when you least expect it. Let go of the what ifs and the what should. Do not let these thoughts cloud your mind.  
 
KNOW- If you need more information about your problem, circumstance, or situation, get it.  
 
ASK - Ask open ended questions. What can I do about this? What else do I need to know? These types of questions will spur intuitive insights.  
 
LISTEN - Listen for the answers. Be willing to be surprised by what you discover.  
 
WRITE- in order to get CLEAR and take out a pen and paper and write down your thoughts and solutions. Which one FEELS best to you? Pay attention to the first option that comes to mind, since research shows that our first impression are often the best, since they are not contaminated by fear, anxiety, and wishful thinking.  
 
TRUST - Trust what you discover. Take a bold step forward. Keep checking in and asking questions.  
 
TRUST AGAIN - Trust the process with certainty to give you clarity in a circumstance. If you have to make a quick decision, go with your first impulse. Go with your gut. Go with your inner wisdom.  
 
Trusting your gut is not magical or mystical. Instead, it is recognizing the language and sensation of what you know and what you are consistently acting on.  
 
Lead From Within: Trusting your intuition will help you have respect for your inner voice, let go of resistance to change, conquer fear and doubt and find the inner strength to move from procrastination, confusion, and stagnation to a world of clarity, action, and confidence while expressing who you truly are.

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We Need A Courageous Conversation

Posted on 04. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.

 
 
What do you do when you have an employee who is great at getting results, meeting their targets, and great with customers, but when it comes to their team, they are abrasive, abusive and condescending? 
 
What do you do when you’re in a relationship and your partner says they will call, and they don't? They say they will show up, but they don't. They say they will be there for you, and they are not. Worse yet, this has been going on for months…  
 
What do you do when you’re in a meeting with your direct report who does all the talking all the time, and never asks for input or feedback? What if your employee is not a team player and it’s really hurting morale?  
 
It is time for an intervention. What kind of intervention? It’s time to have a courageous conversation.  
 
In most organizations, and in our relationships, we’re all so busy being polite with everyone that we’re either not aware of the breakdown, afraid of the breakdown, or avoiding it altogether. We kid ourselves into thinking that if we don’t deal with it, maybe it will go away.  
 
When we fail to engage and say what we honestly think and feel, our business performance will suffer. When what “goes unsaid” is not being said, our relationships will fail.  
 
Here’s how to approach those courageous conversations that need to take place…  
 
Be Courageous: The essence of a courageous conversation is being direct and not fearful. Having a conversation in your head isn’t the same as having a real conversation. Being courageous means being connected to your feelings. Feelings of fear and anxiety create distance. When we are courageous we are fearless. When we act with courage, there is a certain grace that is brought to the conversation. 
 
Be Present: In order to have a courageous conversation, we need to be completely in the moment. Often, in meetings and in relationships where we interact with others, we fail to be fully present. We go through the motions, but we’re not really there, or we’re mentally checked out. In order to have a successful courageous conversation, we need to stay present and engaged. When we are present, we can be more aware of our feelings and the feelings of others. 
 
Be Reflective: In order for us to have a productive courageous conversation, we need to pause and reflect. Sometimes we react without thinking about how our response might impact the person(s) with whom we are interacting. Without pausing, without being reflective, we might choose an inappropriate response. We may say something we will regret. 
 
Be Human: When participating in a courageous conversation, we need to be human. Most of us have a limited vocabulary when expressing our feelings, so we are more likely to offer an automatic or habitual response than to connect heart to heart. When we are human, we have a need to connect, to understand, to listen and to belong. When we are being human, we can bring meaning and energy to the heart of what is important. 
 
Be Attentive: When involved in a courageous conversation, you must be a great listener. Pay close attention and demonstrate sincere interest in the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Be the person who is truly listening by tapping into hidden dialogue, and uncovering what is not being said. When you make more meaningful contact, you are more likely to get the other person’s full attention. 
 
Be Honest: When engaging courageous conversation, we need to be honest and say what we truly feel, without putting off what’s really on our mind. Honesty is not easy. We often repress our true feelings, so much so that sometimes we don't really know what we honestly want. We must be able to be honest and to say what we are truly feeling, seeing, and wanting. To be honest with yourself and others is to honor self. Being honest will set you free. 
 
Be Curious: When involved in a courageous conversation, leave control at the door. Stay open and curious. The more you try to control, the more out of control you will feel. Try to understand what the other is saying. This does not mean you accept what they say as your truth: it simply means you are open to the possibilities. It is essential to remain open and curious, and not judgmental and controlling.  
 
Be Accountable: When having a courageous conversation, being accountable means that you take responsibility for what you say and how you say it. Do not blame, claim or abuse anyone else. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be the one who recognizes that being accountable will help shift the conversation from blame to gaining understanding. 
 
Be Committed: By bringing commitment to your interactions, you learn the power of courageous conversation. Your commitment to be courageous fosters connection. Being committed to courageous conversation will make your communications clear and compelling. It will bring knowing to the unknown. 
 
Lead From Within: When we are aware, we listen to each other, even if there are differences. If we stay focused, if we remain our caring human self, and if we pay attention to others’ feelings and ideas, we foster greater understanding.  
 
If we are honest about our feelings, if we remain curious, and if we are committed to forging courageous conversations, we will help strengthen relationships, productivity, and communication.  
 
Where can you have a courageous conversation today? Which meeting? What boss? Which employee? What relationship?

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The Language of Thought

Posted on 29. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.

“Our lives are like a chess game. The move of a single pawn affects the outcome of the game.” - David R Hawkins.

Connecting, communicating and conversing are all effects of a thought. It affects our leadership, our relationship and our fellowship.  
 
If you think about it, our thoughts are the beginning of what matters most. Our thoughts bring value to what we think, say and do.  
 
Understanding our thoughts is the door-opener to the rewards of self-awareness and insight, and it's the ground upon which understanding rests.  
 
The language of thought has an internal influence on us. And that internal influence can make a difference to our external outcomes. 
 
Reflect===> Retrieve===>Relate===> Responsible===> Results===>Reward!  
 
Reflect: By taking a moment to reflect upon our thoughts, we can stand at the gateway of making different choices. As we pause, we can practice looking at our thoughts instead of from them. Reflection is an action. Reflecting on our thoughts brings us invaluable learning and opportunity for growth.  
 
Retrieve: To understand what someone says, we must draw upon our shared knowledge of the world, not just our knowledge of language. All of us have stored thoughts. Our past observations become our future projections. Our expectations, beliefs and past experiences affect our thinking and communication.  
 
Relate: Until we can relate to our thoughts, we are not going to be successful in communicating with ourselves or with others. Everyone’s thoughts and behaviors are a function of their viewpoint.  
 
Responsible: We can increase our self-awareness and improve communication as we accept responsibility for every thought, word, and deed that we think. What we think we act upon. Be responsible. In being responsible, we break down the old patterns of thinking and build new pathways of being.  
 
Results: As we live our lives with intention, we can achieve the results for a new way of being and leading. We achieve results by focusing on our thoughts. Our results depend on how quickly we observe and determine whether the thought serves our purpose or not. We can create an intention about what we want, and get the results we are looking for.  
 
Reward: When we are clear about what we want, our reality will follow… Then we will be rewarded.  
 
Defining the language of thought cultivates new meaning. Without the self-awareness of thought, we would live each day as we did yesterday, and we would simply recreate the same solutions as we did the day before.  
 
By understanding the language of our thoughts, we enhance ourselves, our families, our team, our organization, and our leadership. As we begin to understand the language of thoughts, we can see that we are consciously choosing our future.  
 
What we think. What we say. What we do. Matters.  
 
When we know what matters - and our mind is clear - we make the most of each moment. We can think outside the box. We can lead from within. We can develop creative solutions. We can trust our intuition. We can know the next step we are going to take. We can make good decisions, and we can act on them effortlessly.  
 
Be the person who cares. Who thinks. Who listens. Who understands. Who communicates. Who converses and who connects deeply.  
 
Lead From Within: Reap the benefits by understanding that the language of thought is the driver that helps you reshape your life and leadership. With this clarity, you can transform, transcend and thrive.

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Truth Seekers

Posted on 11. Apr, 2011 by lollydaskal.

Most of us seek truth through our words but it is not the only way our lives speak, our lives speak through our actions and reactions, our intuitions and instincts, and our feelings. Perhaps these qualities are more profound than our words themselves.  
 
People who are truth seekers are searching for their realities. They have a deep seated desire to know, to understand and reflect and feel what is accurate.  
 
Many of us are in denial when our truth are revealed. We resist it. We become passive. We avoid it-but avoiding it doesn't stop the truth from being true.  
 
The kind of truth seekers we are speaking here about- are people who go after truth as if their life depended on it. They have to find it. It is not something that they seek once in awhile. No, for them it is a way of life -it is a constant searching. They are always tuning in, self reflecting, rediscovering  their realities because they know they will never find themselves until they face their truth.  
 
Shakespeare stated and I quote,"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be the fool" the natural tendency of humans is not to face themselves and not to see who they really are- but knowing who you are gives you the strength to manage your weakness.  
 
People who lead from within are successful because they know themselves inside and out.  Their darkness and light, their strength and weaknesses and they build from that knowledge because they have the courage to face whatever they find.  
 
How you seek truth is worth exploring. How you gather and listen to information about yourself is the utmost important.  Surround yourself with truth tellers and be honest with yourself- Ask instead of tell. Learn instead of teach. Listen instead of speak.  
 
Lead From Within: Truth seekers make better leaders, parents, presidents, partners.  because as seekers they have the desire to see truth even if it is going to be uncomfortable or make them deal with some "out of the comfort zone" things. If you are a truth seeker you make truth your compass in life.

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Measuring Progress

Posted on 29. Mar, 2011 by lollydaskal.

If there is no momentum in our lives, we feel discouraged. If there is no forward motion, we just want to move on.  
 
We must measure progress so we don't give up and we do that by staying motivated.  
 
We know progress requires change.  We see progress calls for courage. And we understand that nothing wants to stay the same.  
 
How we work, how we play, how we live and love – all must evolve over time into something different.  
 
Because it wants to become bigger, better - defined and refined- strategic and satisfying.  
 
However, measuring progress only happens when we have the courage. If we resist change - if we lack courage - all will end up staying in the status quo. As a person who leads from within, you must challenge what has always been, so you can change and grow.  
 
I know you are seeking stability. I know you are seeking to belong. I know you are seeking to be heard. I know you are afraid of being wrong.  
 
I want you to look at your life, work and relationships, and have a keen awareness of the transformation that needs to be made in order to progress. Then I want you to take the action needed to move forward.  
 
As a person who leads from within, you have to be someone who has the courage to do what most people only whisper about.  
 
It is not your insights that set you apart from the crowd.  It is your courage to do, to see, and to act.  
 
Lead From Within: Simply knowing that you will show up and speak up will transform you from being a stagnant individual into being a person who has influence.

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Embrace Uncertainty

Posted on 27. Mar, 2011 by lollydaskal.

Uncertainty is a permanent part of our lives. Rarely will you come to a moment and say, I am certain. We are consistently called to make decisions, and we are constantly making these decisions with limited intelligence. It’s important that we learn to embrace the tension of not knowing everything. Great leaders lead without knowing it all. Great leaders do not eliminate uncertainty, but learn to navigate through it. Great leaders lead despite the shadows of uncertainty. Great leaders recognize that clarity of vision is more important than certainty of the outcome. Every day, we are expected to make decisions regarding our business, our relationships, our marketing, our ideas, and our strategies. We make these decisions even though we don't always have the answers. If we knew everything that was going to happen, we wouldn’t need to experience it. There would be nothing to attain, achieve or acquire. Lead From Within: The only thing we can be certain about is where we have been and what we have done in the past.  Where we are going is always new, and often uncertain.

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Lead With Love

Posted on 18. Mar, 2011 by lollydaskal.

So many of us believe that leaders are cold, aloof and analytical, or that they separate their emotions from their work. Sometimes we also believe that leaders don't need love, affection and friendship.  
 
How many times have we heard that leadership is not a popularity contest, and that leaders don't care if they are liked?  Or that leaders just want to be respected?  
 
I am here to tell you that is NONSENSE.  
 
The single most important factor that differentiates a good leader from a great leader is LOVE.  
 
Yes, you heard me.  
 
Love!  
 
The best leaders want to be liked. They want openness from others. They want to be understood, appreciated, and communicated with.  
 
Leaders who do not care and are cold hearted or cold blooded are not very successful leaders.  
 
When you Lead With Love, success follows.  
 
In fact, the best chemistry that leaders can have with their followers are that they care and share.  
 
You don't love someone because of who they are. You love them because of the way they make you feel.  
 
This applies to your leadership, your business, and your personal relationships. When we show love; when we demonstrate appreciation, it is reflected back to us.  
 
We will work harder and more effectively for that person we love. We will be more loyal and dedicated to them, and it will be in direct proportion to how they make us feel.  
 
To lead from love is to understand at a deeper level how to bring out the best in people. It’s how to empower them to perform at a much greater level than anyone believes possible.  
 
People will meet you and mirror you.  
 
If you are open, they will be open. If you are closed, they will be closed. If you are vulnerable, they will be vulnerable.  
 
The key to leadership is to lead with love. Leading with love means knowing and caring about what inspires and empowers people. It’s about caring enough to know what is important to them and helping them succeed. Leading with love is the key to leadership success. To lead effectively, you must love the people you are leading.  
 
Lead From Within: To be a leader who leads from love is to continuously develop the art of leadership. No matter how masterful or successful you may be, you are always working on improving and inspiring others.  To lead with love benefits both the leader and the follower. It benefits your business, your relationships, your community, and our culture.

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