Leadership: First Seeing The Good
Posted on 04. Sep, 2012 by lollydaskal in Blog, Lead From Within, Leadership Development
After years of research and work with married couples, noted psychologist John Gottman discovered that it takes five positive comments to negate the effects of just one negative comment.
Over the past decade scientists have applied this finding to a number of contexts. It turns out this positive-to-negative ratio applies to more than just interpersonal relationships. It also determines workplace performance.
People who work hard want to feel appreciated for their work.
Sometimes we as leaders, with our busy schedules and long to-do list, fail to provide positive feedback to the people we lead and to acknowledge the people that matter.
Many organizations are lacking leaders who communicate how individuals’ accomplishments affect the larger organization
On a personal scale, people don’t always communicate how much other people’s strengths have helped them.
So why do so many people go unappreciated?
Because we are too busy, and we forget, and even though it is intuitive to voice our appreciation we do not take the time to do it.
Lack of acknowledgement leaves team members feeling disconnected and disregarded.
Lack of seeing the good leaves people unappreciated and unsatisfied.
We must build appropriate personal relationships with employees and purposefully listen to what energizes people.
In doing so, we will be able to benefit from their strengths and their presence.
In a culture where so many leaders highlight challenges and weaknesses, we must recognize that acceptance, awareness and acknowledgement will affect our team’s performance.
So what happens when we do take the time to look for the good first?
It demonstrates that we care.
It shows that we see them.
It validates their sense of worth.
It confirms their roles and purpose.
It allows them to take ownership for what they do.
Leaders need to slow down and make the time to look for the good first.
We must spot great work and then acknowledge it. When we recognize dedicated others, we must take the time to praise them.
By engaging the heart of your people, you will get the best of what they have to offer.
By embracing the mind of your people, you will get them to be responsible for performance.
By embracing the will of your people, you will get them to be passionate.
The necessary focus on employee appreciation requires a profoundly different leadership attitude, a change in the corporate mindset, and new formation of our organizational make up.
When we invest in our people, they are more engaged and connected.
People work harder when they are rewarded.
Making time to first see the good and to acknowledge people for their efforts and contributions must be made a priority. Rely on your intuitive feeling to always lead the way. Make the time to do it – now, and every time.
Recognition is the bridge to a brighter tomorrow and a successful future.
Seeing the good in others is the secret ingredient for a getting great things done.
When people are recognized, they feel connected and counted and they become passionate about their work, their life, and their purpose.
Lead from Within: Showing appreciation is not a matter of intention and attention, but a matter of priority and performance.
21 Responses to “Leadership: First Seeing The Good”
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Jon M
04. Sep, 2012
Lolly,
Spot on. Taking a moment to recognize high performance pays dividends in so many ways, especially for the person receiving the appreciation. Work levels have intensified, yet recognition has lessened. Maybe expectations are higher, but many are delivering on the raised levels. Taking the time to say thank you is the human thing to do. It is the leader thing to do.
Essential reminder.
Jon
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
Jon,
I love this:
Taking the time to say thank you is the human thing to do. It is the leader thing to do.
Jon,You are brilliant!
Lolly
Steve Gutzler
04. Sep, 2012
What a great post that really needs to spread to every boardroom and home business. I love the line..Recognition is the bridge to a brighter tomorrow and successful future. If applied daily we will each see growth and personal fruitfulness! Great Lolly!
Rose McSween
05. Sep, 2012
Fabulous article, Lolly. Thank you for posting it.
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
A appreciative mindset can set you free from the prison of disempowerment and the shackles of discouragement
Mighty | Transformational Leadership
05. Sep, 2012
It’s not that hard to give appreciation but the culture is just used to seeing the bad, instead of the good. Thanks for highlighting the importance of appreciation, Lolly.
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
We must give what we want to receive.
Lolly
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
Life is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure: Acceptance–Awareness and Appreciation!
Jorge Pirela M.
10. Sep, 2012
Hi Lolly, I´m agreed with your article or quote. Acceptance-Awareness and Appreciation are the three unconditional prperrties in equal measures of Life is made up. Thanks, I´ll follow you.
Tamisha
05. Sep, 2012
Hi Lolly – I love this post. I especially love that you referred to pointing out people’s strengths. What I have seen in my experience is leadership being intimidated by the strengths of the very people they hired. Then, there’s this passive-aggressive expectation that’s formed by some leaders to soothe their own insecurities at work. What a beautiful reminder that often times, employees just simply want to be recognized for the strengths they ALREADY possess, not reminded of the ones they don’t. First, see the good. Love it!
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
Those who have the ability to be appreciative are the ones who have the ability to achieve greatness.
Maarten
05. Sep, 2012
And thank you Tamisha, just what I wanted to say and I couldn’t have said it in a better way.
Skip Prichard
05. Sep, 2012
Love it. Love it. Love it.
For many, honest and sincere praise is fuel that powers the next success.
lollydaskal
05. Sep, 2012
Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well”
― Voltaire
Mike Lyles
05. Sep, 2012
Lolly:
Well said and SO true. The first thing I set out to do when I became a manager back in 2002 was to focus on making my team feel appreciated every day. We have all read leadership articles on how that people seek praise and support in many ways but I can tell you that everyone loves to be appreciated
Well done. You have awesome tweets and blogs. I’m a follower of both. I’m on twitter @mikelyles and my blog is attached. Thanks for a great article!!
Shashi Kiran K. V.
06. Sep, 2012
A wonderful article…excellent work…..I notice how happy my 4 year old son feels when appreciated, like wise it has amazing effects with my wife and parents.
while most may appreciate co-workers and colleagues….lot many forget doing same at home, taking things for granted. It is such a nice feeling to be appreciated and appreciate others in all walks of life….
Chris
06. Sep, 2012
Lolly,
This is exactly where I am finding myself drawn to and why I have begun to blog again…thank you! I am going to reblog this amazing post!
Simon
11. Sep, 2012
Dear Lolly,
Of course a wonderful subject and one so much at the core of leading from within. It is quite funny how easily we can get stuck in the rut of just going through the motions of living, so easily forgetting those thank you’s, and words of encouragement.
And then someone surprise us and shines a light in our heart and we suddenly realize that we have been wearing blinkers and forgetting how wonderful a few words said with sincerity can feel.
Surely seeing the good in others and bringing it to light has to be one of the most underused leadership tools around. In our fast paced world we live in, those that do see the good in others at work can swiftly forget to acknowledge the accomplishment and the moment goes unacknowledged, the power of lifting others goes unused. In the long term this can start the swing to a drift to low performance and productivity can slow, people start to loose interest as good goes un noticed, or at the least unacknowledged.
I say this because I know that this has (being an introvert) been like weed on the bottom of my boat in the past. Yes I saw the good deeds, the kindness of others and the extra effort put in without being asked for, but then I said all the “well done’s” and “awesome work” in my head and even got to the point of perhaps convincing myself that I had congratulated the people. Or sent the note of thanks for the extra effort that people had put in.
It has been through self awareness that helped me realize the extra power within my team that I was throwing away, because I was not taking the time to stop and recognize their extra effort or great work.
I think that leading from within is a wonderful reminder to all to think with our hearts and use the power of compassion and love in all parts of our lives, not just at home or in out personal lives.
Life is so short and as I write on 9/11 I remember those that will never hear another word of thanks again. So I thank you for keeping my heart lit with the beauty and strength of leadfromwithin, and I look forward to tonights chat on twitter at 8pm. Keep doing what you do, your strength strengthens so many and offers us all a reminder to care for each other while leading our way through our lives.
Great post Lolly !!
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