Leadership: Beyond Compare

Posted on 26. Mar, 2013 by in Change, Character, Communication, Lead From Within, Leadership, Leadership Development, Life Balance, Life Skills, Purpose, Purpose, Values, Workplace

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 10.29.07 AM

It’s easy to go through life looking over your shoulder. You may wonder why he has it so good, why she is so successful. You may feel envy or resentment, wishing you had what they have, assuming that what they have is what you need.

You can spend a lot of time and energy comparing yourself to others, but the effects are never good. You feel less and want more. At the extreme, you can end up mired in hopelessness and helplessness, striving to become a bad imitation of someone else.

Beyond compare

 

Instead, work on identifying your own personality, assessing your own strengths and weaknesses. Concentrate on knowing who you are and developing your best self:

Recognize. When you stop the comparisons, you can take on the more rewarding work of understanding yourself. You can never know another’s heart and mind, purpose and values, strengths and weaknesses, as you can know your own. Dig deep and reconnect with your unique qualities.

Accept.  Accept all parts of yourself, good and bad. Acceptance doesn’t mean making excuses for yourself, or thinking that you’re perfect—although it is important to give yourself the same compassion and understanding that you’d give to others. Acceptance is about acknowledging the reality of your life, the place you are starting from today.

Change. Commit to Change. If you’ve been honest with yourself, you’ve found some habits of behavior or thought that fall outside your values and your sense of purpose. Once you have recognized and accepted those things, you are free to make a conscious decision to change them.

Release. The trap of comparison is that it skews your vision of yourself, making it hard to see your own “big picture,” all the things you are capable of. Ask yourself what’s missing, what you’re longing for, what you need from yourself.

Let go of what you think you need to look like and start being who you are meant to be.

 

The more courage you bring to your self-reflection and self-discovery, the more opportunity you will have for growth and change.

Find out what is unique about yourself and capitalize on it and remember your heart beats uniquely, to your own rhythm and reason.

The only comparison that matters is with your own past, as a way to measure the present and aim for the future.

 

Lead from Within: As heart-based leaders, let’s be brave enough to stop comparing ourselves to others and commit instead to a deep look inside with some honest decisions and declarations about ourselves.

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31 Responses to “Leadership: Beyond Compare”

  1. Sam

    26. Mar, 2013

    Absolutely well stated .

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      You can take pride in yourself without comparing yourself to anybody else.

      If you show up – being the best you can be, then you can feel really good about yourself.

      Be real.
      Be authentic.
      Be YOU.
      You MATTER!

      Reply to this comment
  2. Tom Rhodes

    26. Mar, 2013

    This is not only a great Leadership Lesson it is a great Life lesson. Be the best you, you can be. Time spent on trying to be someone else is wasted.

    Reply to this comment
  3. Terri Klass

    26. Mar, 2013

    What a wonderful post Lolly! It is sometimes so difficult not to look and see what others are doing and start comparing. But I learned a long time ago to love myself and to try to be the best I can be. That is not to say that we should not keep growing and learning. But when we look inwards, we can discover the journey we were meant to take. Thanks again.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      The life of every person is a journal in which they means to write one story, and then we write another; and our humblest hour is when we compares the volume as it is with what we vowed to make it.

      Be humble and live the stories of your heart. Be you and no one else.

      Reply to this comment
  4. Frank rock

    26. Mar, 2013

    What a great post. Your suggestions are a compass for anyone who wants to be the best they be
    Brilliant

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      No matter what happened yesterday it is insignificant when compared to what lies within the essence of being yourself today.

      Reply to this comment
  5. Tagrid Sihly

    26. Mar, 2013

    Thank you so much for this inspirational post. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’ve been feeling very depressed lately for exactly the same reasons you mention. I haven’t been able to accept myself for what I am and capitalize on what I do well. As a result, I started doubting myself and my abilities. Growing impatient I couldn’t help but to feel hopeless. Your words helped me feel encouraged again. Sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit for all the good we do and all the inner strength we really have. And that can be detrimental to our emotional well-being. This loss of hope tends to blur our vision and deter our focus on the future. I love your line: “Let go of what you think you need to look like and start being who you are meant to be.” I will really try to use this advice to move forward. Thanks again.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions.

      It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

      You do not even have to know everything about yourself…

      You just have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you.

      Keep the channel open.

      Each of us find dissatisfaction with ourselves over our lifetime.

      And we must remember there is a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive to find ourselves.

      Reply to this comment
  6. Karin Hurt

    26. Mar, 2013

    Agreed ….comparisons are limiiting, whether we do them to ourselves, or we buy into the comparisons of others.

    Reply to this comment
  7. ynes

    26. Mar, 2013

    Thanks Lolly for this great post. Definitely it’s.a life post, that should be read and re-read in a regular basis. Reading it brought peace to my soul! I love this “your heart beats uniquely, to your own rhythm and reason”. I always remember this from Desiderata ” If you compare yourself with other, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” I would say every new day it’s a new oportunity to become a better human being, accepting the others the same way we wish to be accepted.
    Peace and love!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      Thanks Ynes!

      There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.

      And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.

      The world will not have it.

      Reply to this comment
  8. Hi Lolly,

    You identify something I think is very important for new managers and emerging leaders and that is to be yourself and not try to be someone else.

    It was yourself that got you to your new position – no need to change now. Remain authentic and stay the course!

    Reply to this comment
  9. Anand Deshmukh

    26. Mar, 2013

    I am fan of your and the thought process.
    Kindly visit the thought process and the way of Indian Avadheshanand Swamy. It would really help you.
    Best compliment. Kindly do post such powerful guidances for many students like me for the life.
    Have a wonderful time.

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      Don’t compare yourself with anyone in this world…if you do so, you are be belittling the person who is meant for you to be…

      Reply to this comment
  10. John Paul

    27. Mar, 2013

    That’s a cute picture, the one of the penguins. I love the other one of you too. Thanks for your post.

    One of the kindest things somebody did for me was knit me a wool scarf for my birthday and send me heart shaped cookies!

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      27. Mar, 2013

      Nothing on this planet can compare with who we are within—the compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional person we are meant to be…

      Reply to this comment
  11. lollydaskal

    27. Mar, 2013

    I believe this quote sums it all up …

    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Emerson

    Reply to this comment
  12. Imo Thiyam

    28. Mar, 2013

    It is very educative and practical from our day today encounters with life. Thanks a million

    Reply to this comment
  13. Rehan Uddin

    28. Mar, 2013

    Thank you very much Lolly Appu. It’s a big lively post. I have been felling enthusiastic as like myself. I’m telling your write, post, very provable and illustrative. I’ll try to go understand towards…of your post. Passionately again thanks…Rehan.

    Reply to this comment
  14. dawoodchishti

    28. Mar, 2013

    Lolly,
    Once again it is nice to see the gift of your leadership. No comparison, just take off and land from the helo-pad of your Self. Be assured,you are perfect being. Inspirational and objective of post yours.

    Reply to this comment
  15. dawoodchishti

    28. Mar, 2013

    Lolly,
    Once again it is nice to see the gift of your leadership. No comparison, just take off and land from the helo-pad of your Self. Inspirational and illuminating post of yours.
    May continue to sprinkle!

    Reply to this comment
  16. dawoodchishti

    29. Mar, 2013

    Unique you are, unique you must go!

    Reply to this comment
  17. dawoodchishti

    29. Mar, 2013

    Your speciality is your Self; Find to love it.

    Reply to this comment
  18. Gerardo

    30. Mar, 2013

    Lolly, congratulations precise focus and real…thanks !

    Reply to this comment
  19. Wayne McEvilly

    01. Apr, 2013

    Lolly –
    As always, I find something that is absoutely attuned to my present moment in your posts.
    This spoke to me with a rich tonality: “Dig deep and reconnect with your unique qualities.”
    and that was sufficient for a long journey inward…
    Thank you.
    Wayne

    Reply to this comment
    • lollydaskal

      02. Apr, 2013

      As always your support is much appreciated and acknowledged. I love coming to my site and seeing a comment from you Wayne! Thank You.

      Reply to this comment
  20. Mehboob Abbas

    19. Apr, 2013

    A leader needs to first understand what is an ultimate vision, not only the vision. For himself and the followers. As it is said there are leader who lived as they never died and there are leaders which died as they never lived

    Reply to this comment

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