Elizabeth King: The Problem With Authenticity

Posted on 17. May, 2009 by lollydaskal in Blog

Part 3 of 4 Finding that what is authentic needs to be changed. What motivates me is sometimes ugly, selfish, and destructive. So that’s an awkward moment. Everyone wants me to be so authentic, and yet… my authentic self or authentic feelings may not be something you’re dying to see today. I may not be itching to see your authentic self, either. It could get very messy. I may hurt your feelings or you may hurt mine. Worse, it might be damaging, debilitating, or drive us apart. The truth is that the pursuit of the authentic self calls for a continual process of change, an ongoing dying of self or ego, and a chronically refreshed attitude of patience—with others and ourselves. It desires delicacy. If we desire to be authentic, truthful, and open, we have to honestly align ourselves with those ideals we want to be true of ourselves and refresh that alignment on a daily basis. We have to let go of thoughts we might be using to protect ourselves from vulnerability. We have to enjoy others’ success as though it were our own. We have to forgive. We’ll have to target specific ways of doing, being, thinking, considering, operating that get in the way of being honest—sometimes they’ll need to be entirely wiped out. Trashed. Replaced. It’s really hard and it's not a one shot deal. Outing that process—being completely authentic today—is entirely up to you. Frankly, the authentic process may call for a little privacy, and sometimes privacy calls for discretion, which, you may have noticed, we tend to confuse with being inauthentic. Thankfully, we do not owe the world this sort of transparency; it’s simply not part of the social contract. Indeed, it may be a little much to have your authentic-self-status posted on your Facebook profile in the hopes of a “thumbs up” from someone you once met at a networking event. By Elizabeth King Elizabeth will be exploring the issue in depth in a four part series. Follow Elizabeth King on twitter. elizabethonline A graduate of Mount Holyoke College, Elizabeth holds an interdisciplinary major that incorporates Economics, Mathematics, Art History, and Studio Art. Elizabeth began preparing students for the SAT with in Boca Raton, Florida. Since then she has taught students in conjunction with some of the country’s most prestigious education firms, including Judi Robinovitz Associates/Score at the Top, Arete Education, IvyWise, and EBL Coaching. Elizabeth is the author of Outsmarting the SAT, a collection of the strategies and teaching tactics she uses every day to help students maximize their scores on the SAT. Known for her enthusiastic and direct teaching style, Elizabeth has successfully led students to score gains of well over 100 points on every section of the SAT and has helped others progress from the 50th to 95th percentile on the ACT. Additionally, she has prepared sample Writing section questions for a major test prep company’s international materials, written and taught a customized 9th grade home school curriculum, and has served as a proctor/facilitator for several online high school students. Elizabeth is also a candidate in the UCLA Extension’s Certificate in College Counseling program and has helped students develop essays and applications that have been accepted at the nation’s most prestigious schools. Elizabeth has appeared in several regional theater productions and has been a member of several Manhattan vocal studios for years. She was also a proud recipient of a Mount Holyoke College Class of 1905 Alumnae Fellowship and a Mount Holyoke College Bardwell Fellowship.