Archive for 'Goals and Success'
The Source of Integrity
Posted on 22. Apr, 2012 by lollydaskal.
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Last week, we blogged about Why Were You Not?
We made the discovery that integrity was the anchor of our heart; the commitment of being who we are deep in your soul.
So many of you have written to me, saying it was a very difficult and deep.
And I agree.
Exploring your anchor is difficult.
Remembering and rediscovering of who you are is not easy.
But to do so, we must go to the source.
The source of integrity.
Integrity- English
Having integrity is being honest and having strong moral conviction.
A person with integrity is honest, with strong moral principles and uprightness.
Integrity - Latin
Integrity comes from the Latin “integer,” whole.
Integrity means our word is full, whole and complete.
A person with integrity is one who is whole and complete. A person with integrity lives their word completely, one hundred percent of the time.
A person with integrity lives all the way, never part way, never a fraction, but all the time, every single time.
Integrity - French
Integrity indicates something intact, integrated, integral. The whole is working well, undivided, integrated, intact, and uncorrupted.
A person with integrity is a whole person, an integrated person, with all parts working well and delivering the functions that they were designed to deliver.
Integrity - Hebrew
In Hebrew the closest word to integrity is translated as “virtue.” If you trace its origins and meanings, one of the meanings is “a force.”
A person of virtue is a force to be reckon with and they always leave a result.
As you can see:
Integrity is not a goal to be achieve as much as it is a life to be pursued.
Integrity is allowing our life to unfold because of who we are.
If you are looking for your true self, your authentic leadership, your genuine life.
Then you will have to let your actions be an expression of who you are on the inside.
Integrity is an inside job.
You will know you are living with integrity when you live your convictions.
You will know you are living with integrity when you are a force to be reckoned with.
Our lives are expressed through our instincts, instructions, intuition, inspiration, our influence and our impact.
- What are your intentions?
- What do you pay attention to?
- How do you represent yourself?
When we have integrity, we will allow who we are to guide our decisions and give us hope during our suffering.
Live the source.
Be the Force
Lead From Within: Be the person who has virtue, who is a force, a force that is unstoppable. Stand firm and make your grip strong. Be a force against the pain, the suffering, the stress, and the roadblocks that life sends your way.
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Me And My Shadow
Posted on 19. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Everyone casts a shadow; we all have one.
Where we go... it goes. Where we stand, it stands… There is no escaping it.
Our shadow is filled with characters we have no wish to be, and certainly no wish to present to others; our fears, our insecurities, and our anxieties.
It’s the negative side of our personality and it’s the part of ourselves that we are often are not in touch with, or have possibly disowned.
Carl Jung says, when emotions and feelings are not made conscious, they usually manifest outside of us.
He says that our judgment, anger and pain will present itself and we will see it everywhere, and in everyone. It will attract the very people that we may often dislike and detest. Usually these people and situations are telling us more about ourselves than they are about the other person. They have come to teach us lessons...
How do we recognize our SHADOW in relationships and business?
- When our acts are unintentional and unintended. (“Oops, I didn’t mean to say that!”)
- When our interactions continuously have the same troubling effect on several people. (“Both David and Libby feel you have not been honest with us.”)
- When our negative feedback from others serves as a mirror. (“This is the fourth time you have not shown up to the meetings or even called to say you will be late.”)
- When our feelings are amplified about others. (“I just can’t believe that she would say that. I cannot believe he had the nerve to show up that way.”)
- When we are humiliated by circumstances. (“I am so ashamed about how he spoke to me.”)
- When we are extremely irritated and irrational about another person’s faults (“She really let her weight get out of control.” or “He just can’t seem to get his act together.”)
As leaders who lead in every part of our business and life, our objective should be to have an ongoing relationship with our shadow so we can:
- Gain a deeper understanding of who we are by achieving self-acceptance and expansion of self.
- Defuse negative emotions that derail us from our daily lives, to balance the light and dark.
- Secure freedom from guilt and shame that plague our negative emotions.
- Obtain clarity on how our projections color our opinions about others.
- Address our conscious and our unconscious.
- Heal our relationships by having honest and sincere self-examination and courageous conversations.
THE GIFT…
- Of being in the right place and always doing it the right way.
- Of embracing some of our disowned parts.
- Of recalling our potentially positive qualities.
- Of rediscovering who we are in our complete self.
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The Truth About Leadership
Posted on 13. Feb, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Each of us is born to lead, but not all of us are born feeling like leaders. Most of us don’t realize we have a chance to lead.
Sadly, what happens is that we impose barriers, we erect wall, and we pad ourselves into boxes and closed off rooms. We find ourselves feeling suffocated by our own self-defeating thoughts and misguided deeds.
Many times, in my work with organizations, I hear people say they are not leaders and they cannot make an impact and I feel that with a little wisdom, a little encouragement, and a lot of empowerment they can come to realize that everyone can be a leader.
I believe in any organization, business, or relationship, leadership is not so much about position as much as it is about each person’s disposition.
As you will read the truth about leadership, you will come to understand that you do not need a title to lead.
Everyone can lead from where they are; everyone can drive change and inspire others. This is not a traditional view of leadership, where leadership is allocated for the few. It is NOT based upon power. This leadership belongs to all of US...
So, how do we discover our heart -based leadership?
How can we lead without a title?
By honoring your soul: - Your soul is made up of all that is good; it if full of all that it wants to express. Sometimes you may feel your calling but feel too scared to accept it, own it, be it. Your soul is calling; do not ignore it. Have the courage to dream, for what you dream becomes your life. Recognizing your soul is one of the most important decisions you will ever make to owning your leadership.
By listening to your heart : By moving beyond the mind and proceeding past your ego, you learn to listen to your heart. The heart is the sum of everything: all your feelings, emotions, reactions, and responses. Your heart wants to guide and assist you. As you continue to draw upon your heart for direction, you will eventually find that what you seek and what you seek you will want to share with others.
By owning your past: By putting value on your past and all the lessons you have learned and to act as witness to the roads, detours, and highways you have traveled, you will come to understand that where you stand, no one has ever stood before. You will bring your history into each moment and shade it with perspective and meaning. By learning from your life lessons, you begin to make them into learning and leadership moments.
By being enough: You need to stop looking over your shoulder. You have to stop comparing yourself to others. You have to remember, you are the gift, the present to this world. You do not have to worry about what others are doing. Because your responsibility, your mission, is to be your best self. By feeling you are not enough, you are sending out the message that you do not deserve. Knowing you are enough, you can spend more time on cultivating your full potential. Leadership is the expression of courage that compels people to live in their giftedness.
By being a bit braver: To be a bit braver you are going to have to trust yourself. It will not take much; it will take just a bit of effort. You don’t have to risk it all at once, you just have to begin by taking one step closer to our leadership. Be a bit braver — a bit bolder —and do not shrink from yourself. Be the leader you want to see in the world.
By honoring values: One of the requirements of leadership is that you know what you value and what your core convictions are. Because your values will set your direction, they will be your compass for your decisions and choices. Be a leader who honors your values and core convictions and let your leadership speak for itself.
By making a difference: Don’t just sit by and wait for the world to call you a leader; take this opportunity to claim your calling and be the person who can inspire and change the world.
Seek the principles of lead from within and heart based leadership because they are universal. This leadership will feed your soul and engage your heart.
This leadership is an ever-evolving journey. There are roads to travel and paths to take and many things will feel unpredictable and unreasonable.
The truth about Leadership is.... you are a leader and you don’t need a title to demonstrate leadership on all levels and across all boundaries.
Lead from within: the purpose of our life is to discover our leadership, the work of our life is developing leadership and the meaning of life is to teaching our leadership to others. If you accept all of your life your leadership will not have been wasted.
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The Uncertain Leader
Posted on 18. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
We all talk about leadership success, inspiration and motivation, but there is more to leadership and life. There are truths that we must address, and there are realities that we cannot escape.
Truth: Leaders face uncertainties.
Truth: Leaders may come upon circumstances or experiences that they cannot fix (despite how hard they try).
Truth: Leaders to some degree face fear.
Fear of uncertainty is always with us. It lies there waiting to challenge us and is waiting to call upon us - and sometimes it is the greatest saboteur of our inner leadership.
We cannot deny it.
When it comes to uncertainty, we need to comprehend that it is a personal matter. It is not THE uncertainty of life that gives us anxiety, but OUR fears within ourselves that cause the pain.
It is best to face uncertainty by including it in our thoughts and actions rather than suppressing it. Recognition of uncertainty is valuable because it helps us to guard against the things that might go wrong.
The reality of the uncertain leader may be that uncertainty may cause you complication in your life. However, identifying the source of your uncertainty is a critical part of becoming certain.
Uncertainty may cause you fear. But the fear of the unknown expands your knowing.
Uncertainty may cause you confusion. But the purpose of uncertainty is to define and focus on your clarity and convictions.
My personal note to the uncertain leader…
Let your uncertainties guide you to help you understand and prepare you for your challenges.
Do not use uncertainty as an excuse to abandon your plans.
Every important risk, every important uncertainty, involves fear. Don’t run from your fear and uncertainties.
Don’t pretend to be fearless. Don’t pretend to be certain.
If you hold on to your uncertainties rather than expressing them authentically, you will begin to distort self. Simply recognize uncertainties and learn to adapt and adjust to them.
Uncertainty is always trying to make a case for itself in our lives, because it wants us to make a stand for what we believe in. Be the architect for others to model.
Know that fear and uncertainty drag us to the bottom of where we begin to understand the essence of our leadership.
Fear teaches us who we are and it shows us that we are about to step out of our comfort zone.
Every uncertainty is an encounter with something within ourselves that we do not understand or did not take responsibility for. Do not let it lament any part of your life and leadership, because every hardship can teach us valuable lessons.
Every uncertainty is the distance between truth and leadership and the event of greatness.
Lead from within: Uncertainty is about handling our fears. Above all, it’s about helping us to live comfortably with our uncertainties so we can do better, be better and act better.
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The Heart Of Listening
Posted on 08. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
Who was the last person who actually listened to you?
Who was the last person you actually gave your full attention to?
I know what you’re thinking. YOU listen all the time. But do you really?
Do we understand what it really means to listen? Do we comprehend what is the Heart of listening?
Do we realize that every person we will meet has something to teach us? Perhaps our job is to listen long enough to find out what that lesson is.
Isn’t it true that when people speak to us, we tend to jump right in and give our advice, our feedback and our judgment? And all too often we find ourselves fixing, lecturing or interrupting with way too many questions. We listen not as an act of curiosity, but rather for a chance to give clever responses.
We are all guilty of this because we are all human.
In order to reap the benefits of listening, we must let ourselves develop and expand our ability to concentrate and pay attention.
Listening with Heart is a skill - A skill that can be taught and can be learned, but most definitely must be developed.
The Heart of listening consists of:
- Listening with heart is to summarize your understanding of what was just said.
- Listening with heart is reframing what you have just heard.
- Listening with heart is not a passive skill, but an active art.
- Listening from the heart is letting others know you understand what they said.
- Listening from the heart assures others that you are really listening with your whole body; eyes, ears and all.
If we are going to expand our KNOWLEDGE, we need to listen.
If we are going to be SUPPORTIVE, we need to listen.
If we are going to be RESPECTFUL, we need to listen.
If we are going to be COMPASSIONATE, we need to listen.
If we are going to illustrate EMPATHY, we need to listen.
Listening is the sincerest form of flattery and shows the deepest form of connection.
In order to live a life of leadership and meaningful connection, we have to consciously choose to slow down, give up our own agenda, and develop the capacity to focus on others by making an effort to fully understand them.
Socrates states, “Nature has given us two ears, two eyes and but one tongue to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak.”We need to cultivate Heart about the ways WE listen.
We need to simply give our undivided attention to another without imposing our own personal agenda.
Sometimes, this might take a little practice.
It is a generous act of giving when we allow someone the space to be exactly who they are and exactly who they are not. This takes the ability to authentically listen with Heart.
In organizations, poor listening is responsible for the loss of billions of dollars due to unnecessary mistakes, lost opportunities, ineffectiveness and deficiencies.
In relationships, poor listening is responsible for disconnectedness from our families, loved ones, friends and customers. It is the cause of breakdowns and break ups.
If we could hear our words, our comments, and our feedback through the ears of our listeners, we might be horrified with our insensitivity and negativity.
The Heart of listening requires focus and a desire to learn and gain perspective. It takes effort to realize our inner barriers we have built towards others, which we must learn to put aside.
By listening with an open Heart, it is love in action. By listening with mindfulness, it is the way for making every interaction become memorable.
Lead from Within: The Heart of listening is a gift to yourself and others. everyone you meet can impact and change your life.
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Why No New Year’s Resolution
Posted on 04. Jan, 2012 by lollydaskal.
I have heard from so many of you about your New Year’s resolutions.
I know some of you are excited by them and some of you are already weary of them.
CONFESSION: I don’t really make New Year’s resolutions.
What I do instead - every year - is I check in with myself, through self reflection.
In my self-reflection I ask:
Am I standing for what I truly believe in?
Am I showing up for what is most meaningful to me?
Am I living by my principles?
For me, my principles are my drivers, year after year, month by month, day by day, and hour by hour.
My drivers ALLOW me to live my purpose with passion.
So I ask you today...
Do you have principles that you stand by?
Do you know what your principles are?
Do you recognize that your principles let others know who you are and what you stand for?
Do you understand that principles drive your attitude and your actions?
Do you understand that, if you have no principles, you may not have a full understanding of the big picture of your life - personally and professionally?
Did you realize that your principles are your WHY?
Principles contain the important elements of your life, like being honest, being kind, and being loving.
Principles are all about the things you want to achieve in your life and how you intend to achieve them.
Principles are about being the best at what you do because you stand for something.
Principles guide you to stand for the things you care about most.
Keep in mind that identifying and cultivating principles is not something you can just sit down and say, “Okay, here they are!” It’s not about making a list.
Principles develop slowly and over time.
Principles evolve bit by bit. Essence by essence. Dedication by dedication. Insight by insight Foresight by foresight.
You develop your principles as you mature, and you refine your principles by understanding what has the most meaning for you.
Once you understand and can identify your principles, you’ll be rewarded for a lifetime.
Principle drives perspective. Perspective drives action. Action drives decisions. And decisions drive living. Not just living, but living a life full of purpose and meaning.
If you don’t like the life you are living, look at your decisions. If you don’t like your decisions, look at what actions you take every day. If you don’t like your actions, then look at your perspective of life. And if you don’t like your perspective, then look at your principles.
Defining your principles will help you build your values and your beliefs. It will help you cultivate a life that you admire in others, and one that you have been dreaming for yourself.
Think now about what is important to you…
Discovering and defining your principles will help build your character, your attitude, your self confidence, your influence, your peace of mind, and your purpose in life.
Lead from Within: Principles are principles for life- it’s NOT about just knowing your principles, but actually living them daily. Defining your principles will help you with everything: How you act, how you think, how you react, how you serve, and how you lead.
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Suspend Your Seeing
Posted on 03. Dec, 2011 by lollydaskal.
This past week, my daughter came home with an art project. It was a still life drawing of a pail, some books, a bottle and a pitcher.
She was having difficulty with the perspective and with the shading. She was feeling frustrated and perplexed at why her drawing didn’t resemble the still life she was trying to duplicate.
As I looked at the art work she handed me, I realized immediately what was keeping her drawing from looking like the original.
I asked her, “Did you draw the books, bottles and pitcher the way you think they are, or did you draw what you actually see?”
At first she didn't understand what I was asking.
I explained to her that when it comes to drawing, we need to stop our habitual way of seeing and perceiving. We need to pause and see what we really see - Not what we think we see or what we think we know.
I told her that though she might think she sees all of the angles of her objects, the reality is that she only has a partial view of each of the objects.
She smiled. She saw instantly where she had gone wrong.
In business, just as in drawing, once we correct our seeing and start suspending our perception, our perspective becomes clearer.
When we draw, when we speak, when we lead others, when we are looking for change in our organization, there is always much more than what we initially see.
A simple adjustment in our perspective can give us the true dimensions of our organization.
The slightest pause in self reflection can give us greater insight into our relationships.
We all make decisions, we all make moves, and we all see. But still there are failures.
Some change initiatives end up going nowhere, not because they lack vision or noble intentions, but because our everyday awareness is based on what we think we see. If we want to succeed in this rapidly changing world, we must learn to see reality.
Seeing reality involves suspension.
It’s about pausing…
Not destroying, deleting, or discarding what we think we see.
Suspension requires hanging onto to our assumptions that are right in front of us, while keeping our minds open to what can’t always be seen initially.
Suspension means noticing our perceptions, our thoughts, our mental models, and our habits as the working models of our mind, and not what actually exists.
Most of us accept reality the way it is presented to us. However, when we can suspend, we can begin to see that our thoughts and assumptions have less influence on what we see.
Suspension allows us to “see our seeing.”
Lead From Within: When we are learning something new, we can often feel confused, perplexed and disappointed.
Our “not seeing,” can keep us from staying fresh, current, and from keeping things in perspective.
Where can you learn to “suspend” so you can have a new perception?
Where can you redirect your attention so you can see the new perspective?
Drawing: By Zoe (still a work in progress)
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Send Letters of Thanks
Posted on 19. Nov, 2011 by lollydaskal.
This week is Thanksgiving.
Let's make the time to pause to self- reflect on how fortunate we are for all the things we have been given this past year.
What if we took the time to send letters of thanks to the people we care about?
Let's acknowledge the people who constantly support us.
Let's appreciate those who unconditionally love us.
Let's recognize the leaders, teachers, mentors, coaches, that make a difference.
Let's be grateful for our health, work and play and the gifts bestowed upon us.
Make the time this week to write your Letter of Thanks. Remember we are called to serve and to walk together with thankful hearts and compassionate souls.
Lead From Within: As leaders we have the responsibility to role model appreciation, gratitude and recognition. Who will you acknowledge today, this week, this Thanksgiving? Who will you write a thankful letter to?
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How Do I Love Thee..Let Me Count The Ways
Posted on 06. Nov, 2011 by lollydaskal.
I love thee.
These three words can change a person’s life. Too often, we only consider love in the context of our closest or most intimate relationships. But what about our other connections? Imagine what the phrase can do for the people who you work with.
Consider the following expressions of love and think about how you can put more love into all of your relationships…
How do I love thee?
I love thee.... without limits. The more I learn to love and appreciate what you do, the more improvement I will see in our relationship. There will be a deeper connection.
I love thee.... thru hard times. When business is slow and we are not reaching our goals, I will stand by you. In the end, love will fill us up and make us glad we have each other.
I love thee... enough to give you freedom. Freedom to make your own choices and decisions. Freedom to feel free from guilt about pretending to be someone you are not.
I love thee...without fearlessness. To create the space to tell the truth without being afraid.
I love thee....for your growth. Everyone needs someone to support them while they grow and make changes. I will stand by you.
I love thee... thru transformation. When you are seeking to understand, I will give you the space to search.
I love thee… thru all vulnerability. Allowing us to cultivate a safe haven so we can be open and honest at all times.
I love thee....with authenticity. I will love you in ways that matter ONLY to you
I love thee....for thee. Loving each person for who they are and honoring their gifts and talents will give them the foundation to launch into the success that is meant to be theirs.
I love thee leadership style: The greatest leaders are those who connect in positive and heartfelt ways to their organizations, and who do so with inspiration, motivation and heart.
Lead From Within: Learning to love others authentically and in ways that matter to them is one of the best things any leader can do.
This POST is dedicated to the ONE I LOVE.............YOU!!!!!!
Join us this Tuesday on #leadfromwithin tweetchat at 8pm est Topic: Lead With Love with our co-host @John_Paul
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Synchronicity Leadership
Posted on 31. Oct, 2011 by lollydaskal.
Most of us have noticed those moment when things go just exactly right ...
When the right person turns up at exactly at the perfect moment to save the situation.
When it feels as if the stars have aligned miraculously to move us from where we are to where we need to be.
Those moments can be called luck or coincidence. I call it synchronicity.
Many of us are quick to dismiss those serendipitous moments as flukes but when they do happen they feel as though they are hidden hands of the universe giving us what we want in a harmonious way.
What would happen if we as leaders understood that nothing of real substance happened without our say.
What would happen if we as leaders trusted that we could stop controlling every minute of our lives and in doing so... we would manifest the world around us to unfold magically.
What would happen if we as leaders detached from our assumptions so we could lose sight of what we thought we wanted and actually allowed our world to give us what is good for us. ......no great for us.
That I would say is....... Synchronicity the inner path of leadership.
Be the one that creates Synchronicity Leadership- the one who allows your inner manifestation to create an outer world of greater destination.
Lead From Within: As leaders why not allow ourselves to be led by the generating depth of consciousness which evoke ourselves to manifest a mind, heart and soul of synchronicity?
This would allow us to remove the blocks and barriers and tap into the knowledge where we know and feel we would and could create the kind of future we want.
Join us this week on #leadfromwithin tweetchat as we engage and explore Synchronicity and Leadership Tuesday at 8pm est.
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