Do we have the courage to pay attention to how we feel and if we do, do we have the fearlessness to state our feelings and stand by them?
Is it okay to feel our feelings?
Is it okay to be hurt and ashamed?
Is it okay to say NO when we really do not want to say YES?
Is it okay to think of ourselves for a change without feeling selfish?
Many of us spend our time taking care of others, fending for our family, supporting our colleagues and co workers.
We were born knowing that others existed besides ourselves.
We were raised being told that others needs come first.
We were rewarded for self sacrificing and people pleasing.
We were taught not to question authority.
We were instructed to avoid conflict at all costs and we are held accountable when we hurt other people’s feelings.
So how do we set boundaries for ourselves and still remain open to others?
Setting boundaries is not something we are born with, boundaries have to be built.
The boundaries we construct help us distinguish what is meaningful to us so we can care and protect them.
Setting Boundaries begins with SELF. The self that deserves love and care.
If we have learned that taking care of ourselves is selfish we will shut down. Boundaries is not only about SELF but it begins with self.
Inner boundaries define our heart and soul.
Inner boundaries define who we are and who we are not.
Inner boundaries shows us where “we” start and we the “others” begin.
Inner boundaries gives us a sense of ownership and freedom.
We all have within ourselves that which we inhabit in our souls -the responsibility is for us to own the things that make us who we are.
In the physical world boundaries are easy to see: gates, fences, walls….In the inner world boundaries are harder to see because they define our heart.
When we define our heart we know ourselves. When we know ourselves we can make great contributions and when we make the great contribution we are changing other people’s lives.
Lead From Within: Get to know what you want, what you love, what you hate, and start having a healthy sense of self.
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Of Lolly’s many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc. magazine. Huffington Post honored Lolly with the title of The Most Inspiring Woman in the World. Her writing has appeared in HBR, Inc.com, Fast Company (Ask The Expert), Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, and others. Her newest book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness is being released by Portfolio May 2017.